Table of Contents
Introduction and Personal Statement: Why I’m Passionate About Global Dating
The two types of frustrated Men in America
The Perfect Storm
Debunking the false stereotypical term “Mail Order bride”
Too many woman in America are relationship dysfunctional
The Bad Boy Syndrome
Dr. Laura Provides Example of These Dysfunctionalities
More Examples of Dysfunctionality
Why do so many good men in the USA just get totally ignored by American woman?
Expert Opinion Regarding America's Hook Up Culture
Expert Opinion Regarding the Negative Dysfunctional Effects of the "Hook Up" Culture
Huffington Post- Why so many women in America are still single
It is not uncommon today to hear women in America swear and talk in truck driver like language
Reality of the US dating scene
Women have it easier in America‘s dating scene
The rise in Narcissism with many American woman of today
Many American women are undisciplined
Comments I found on a message board about the US dating scene
The Gender Imbalance that works against American men
Flirtation study names U.S. women “world’s least flirtatious” (almost). Only Ecuador’s women flirt less
American men make the ERRONEOUS assumption that all woman around the world are basically the same
Dr. Laura: Women share blame for cheating men
Differences in Humility
Foreign women are generally more compassionate and empathetic to others’ hardships and sufferings
The HUGE Approachability difference between American and foreign woman
The "men are creeps and stalkers" attitude of American women
Internet post that describes this “MEN ARE CREEPS” mentality that American woman have when approached by men
Three fan mails received at Happier Abroad from foreign men visiting America regarding this "unapproachability" issue with American women
Internet quotes on the differences between Foreign and American woman
Testimonials from American men who have discovered the difference
Real Life Stories that typifies the average American male’s dating experience abroad
Differences in weight, presentableness, and appearance standards
Common Complaints that American men are expressing about many American woman
Studies show that Woman in America now score equal to men on masculinity tests
The Pick up Artist movement in America
Why Brazilian Guys Don’t Need Game But You Do
Who is really after your money? (American women vs Foreign women)
Lou Dobbs report - Women are realizing feminism has failed them
Experts now claim that Feminism is one of the primary causes of marriage and family breakdown in America
These same experts do not make any mention of American men as a group as posing similar problems in relationships
The Decline and Fall of Marriage, Family, and Home - American Civilization on the Way out
Foreign woman don’t pass judgement about your living situation
Foreign woman do not care about your “career” status or income
Differences in intellectual depth and Refinement
Cultured Foreigners vs. Uncultured Americans
Rich inner life vs. total emphasis on outer
American woman often use sex as weapon
Foreign woman generally prefer men much older than themselves
Foreign woman are marriage minded at much younger ages
Typical story of what men experience on internet dating sites
Why internet dating in America does not work for most men
The Bar scene in America
Bachelorette parties signify the new low morals and standards of many woman in America today
Myth – Foreign woman just want a green card and your money
Latvian man shortage leaves women lost for love
Quotes from Mark Edward Davis – The TRUTH as to why foreign woman would seek American men.
Winston Wu of happier applies common sense examples that disproves foreign women are after money or green card
Another quote from Mark Davis of European connections as to why Foreign woman do not want to leave their country but will only do so for love
Why American men and Foreign woman are a match made in heaven
Why I like Filipinas the best - as lovers, playmates, and best friends
USCIS study says men who go abroad for love and marriage are INTELLIGENT, CONSERVATIVE, and HIGHLY EDUCATED
Studies show American woman initiate divorce almost 70% of the time – reasons not due to abuse!
Differences between American and Foreign woman on Alimony and child support
The Exploding trend of men going abroad for love and marriage –Stats show it’s doubling every 8-10 years
Marriage in US hits an all time historical low
Your lack of dating success is not your fault. Its due to Location Location Location!!
Fear of rejection (US vs abroad)
A personal note about my own transformational experience as a result of traveling and dating abroad
Feminism - The Death of Romance in American Society
Myths vs Fact
A politically correct America can’t handle these truths
Insight as to why many men will not search abroad for love and marriage
What’s wrong with the American male of today?
What’s wrong with America
Money and “THINGS” as our one true God
American TV Commercials make you feel like SHIT and INADEQUATE
Only in America is Narcissism celebrated and placed high on the cultural pedestal
Great observations about the lack of connection in American culture
Fattening processed food of US vs. wholesome natural food of other countries
Healthcare in America – The most expensive and unaffordable in the world
Public eating places – Europe vs. USA (not about the food)
America's spiritual Poverty of the soul - a country that is built for doing business not for living life
The unhealthy competitive Nature of US culture
Quote by Winston WU of happier abroad addressing the skeptics
Winston Wu's personal story that talks about the victim blaming mentality of US culture
Why going abroad can be the superior solution
Your mental health and personal fulfillment will sky rocket when you go abroad
Don’t accept the American Bill of sale for relationships
Obesity- Why the shallow argument holds no water
Greetings. I want to take this opportunity to give a little background as to how and why I became involved with the global dating movement and why I am so EXTREMELY passionate about it. After traveling and dating abroad, I have discovered a dating secret! This secret is that the dating and marriage options abroad are far better than what’s generally available here in the US. I am passionate about this because I have personally witnessed how it can change lives! Dating abroad is a proven successful solution to the horrible and abysmal dating scene here in the US where so many men in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s continue to remain single and lonley for so many years of their lives. As it is, I believe that most men in the U.S. live lives of quiet frustration, either dating women who don't respect them or feeling trapped in relationships with women that they somehow chose to settle for. It doesn’t have to be this way. Within this site I explain why global dating is a viable and even better option for these men.
With the literature presented on this site, I will PROVE to men that your lack of dating success is not your fault as American society will shame you into believing. Truth be told, its all about LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION. In most cases, your lack of dating success is not because you are lacking in some area, or because you have to improve yourself, or that you are simply not good enough. (Those are the false messages that American culture tells you). The truth is that the problem lies with the American dating scene. I will show you why you will be far more succesful and happier by looking abroad for love and marriage
The sad truth is that most American men are completely blind to what the social psychologists and relationship experts are saying about American culture and generally about the characteristics of woman in America in particular. The most pertinent example of why such caution is warranted are the statistics that show the odds of divorce when marrying an American woman are 50-60%. Vegas odds are better than this!!! Playing Russian Roulette has better odds than this too!! On top of this fact, it is also a fact that almost 70% of divorces in this country are intiated by the woman. That statistic is very telling of what is happening with marriages in America. But a statistic that is even more telling than that is the divorce rate drops to only 20% when marrying a foreign woman.
Although much of the research section of this site discusses expert commentary on American woman, it is also full of material about America and American culture in general. While this subject on American culture itself may initially seem to veer off from the main subject of International dating, it is actually a very critical component in understanding all the factors of American culture that have molded Americans and particularly, the woman of America into what they are today.
I first became involved with the Global dating movement when in the Summer of 2010, I accidentally came across Winston Wu's website at www.happierabroad.com When I read it, it blew my mind because it was the first time I found anything that provided a logical explanation as to what I have been experiencing within the US dating scene my entire life. Upon reading it, I believed it offered great insight into the reasons why I have preferred dating foreign woman for most of my life instead of my own culture of American woman. (Though I never purposely excluded US woman). In that regard, I've always appreciated the support and understanding that my friends and family have given me regarding my preferences towards dating foreign women. But I’ve always had a feeling that some of them simply wrote it off as some kind of personal eccentricity or some sort of brainwashing. But then, one day I was SHOCKED when I happened to come across material presented by several leading American researchers, social psychologists, and relationship experts who absolutely agreed with my own views and opinions regarding American woman as relationship partners. For me personally, it was nothing short of absolute vindication. (See the “research” section for proof of this). What made it so earth shattering for me was the fact that these experts were nationally recognized as HEAVY HITTERS in their field! I couldn’t have hoped for a pool of more qualified experts than these. With this new support, I was more sure than ever that I had found TRUTH. And we all know what happens to someone when he or she thinks they have found truth? We get inspiration. We become extremely motivated to share the information with others so that they might also be helped too. Therefore, within this website, I document and present evidence that shows that men have alternative dating options, and perhaps even better options for love and marriage by going overseas, especially if a man’s goal is to have a succesful marriage and to stay married long term!!
My deep passion and inspiration for this subject matter stems from the fact that I truly care about helping others who are going through what myself and many other guys have gone through. I have observed way too many frustrated single men in America who are unnecessarily letting their lives pass them by (No love, no family, etc) and its truly not their fault. In addition, there is a very pervasive narcissistic attitude with many woman today in America that especially rears its ugly head in the bar/singles scenes in the US. My friends and I are tired of seeing so many American women being so rude and stuck up in these singles scenes when guys are simply trying to be nice and just say "hello" to them. (Not ALL woman of course, but I would say certainly MOST of the attractive ones.) Guys in the U.S. simply deal with such haughty behaviours because they think they don’t have any choice and of course they don’t know any better. Men have a tendency to assume that woman the world over are relatively the same so they think that’s just how woman are these days. But as explained further down in this article and also in the research section, nothing could be further from the truth. The good news is that I am here to shed some light on this subject matter for you. I will show you that not only do you have choices, but the QUALITY of choices are almost ALWAYS better when going abroad.
Lastly, to be fair, I will say that in my opinion, American girls from small towns, and country girls, and “real”christian girls tend to be very down to earth, genuine, non materialistic, and humble. All these characteristics are similar to the ways that foreign ladies tend to be. But this class of American woman are in the minority and are generally snatched off the dating market very quickly . That being said, unfortunately, the research shows that good family and relationship values are simply becoming harder and harder to find with woman in mainstream America of today. In fact, I think the problem has become so severe, that finding a quality woman in America has become akin to the ole perverbial “needle in a haystack” scenario. This leaves most single men with few good options. To be fair, it’s not that the American men are perfect either! The research shows that many of the same narcissistic afflictions that are affecting American woman so much are also affecting some of the men but to a much smaller degree. For example, as Dr Jean Twenge mentions in her research, “Narcissistic personality traits rose just as fast as Obesity from the 1980’s to the present, with the shift especially pronounced for women” (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 1-4). And she later restates this point once more in her book when she writes “The upswing in narcissism appears to be accelerating: the increase between 2000 and 2006 was especially steep. The changes were especially large for women” (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 31). So, as you can see, my claims about what is happening to American woman are not some crazy ideas by a disgruntled guy who has an axe to grind. But rather, the claims are quite legitimate and supported by leading American experts. Again, it bears repeating, please refer to the “research” section on the left side menu to see sourced research and expert quotes that support the claims here at GlobalDatingSolution.com.
1) Those who have trouble getting a date with anyone at all – these types tend to have one or several of the following characteristics that severely limit their success in the states : physically unattractive, obese, extremely broke, uneducated, or socially inept. They types can still do very well overseas due to the law of supply and demand. In general, in Asia, Latin America, and the former soviet republics, woman far outnumber men. There is literally an army of a million bachelorettes looking for husbands. Another reason these type of guys can do well abroad is due to the differences in what woman are looking for in a mate. Foreign woman don't marry a guy because he is "cute" or "cut" or has a certain “image”. Marriage for them is about security, family and faith. And niceness and character really counts with them. With foreign ladies, its more about “who you are” as opposed to “what you are” in terms of career status and income”).
2) Those who have attractive qualities (i.e. great looks, highly educated, strong intellect, good job etc) –Many of these men simply have not been able to find the
type of woman they would want to settle down with. Therefore they choose to remain single. I myself definitley fall into this category. I have found that
the majority of men who are dissatisfied with the dating scene in America also fall into this category. One quote I found on the happier abroad message board
that clearly comes from a man in this category puts it best: “I can't speak for everyone but getting dates or getting laid in America was never really a problem
for me. What was a problem was the lack of females in America with whom Id want a serious relationship with.”
Here at globaldatingsolution.com, I reveal the numerous reasons behind this problem. As you will see in the “research section” of this site, leading American experts discuss and expound upon these reasons.
The current dating scene for men in America resembles the “perfect storm” of epic proportions that makes America the absolute worst dating scene in the entire world for men (well, perhaps Barring saudia Arabia and Afghanistan)
The American dating scene is extremely unique and unlike any other dating scene in the world. Below is a summary of what I will discuss in this article. Every item below is documented by research studies and expert opinion which can be found in the “research” section of this site. I call it the perfect storm.
1. The Obesity epedemic - Immediatley wipes out *70% of the potential dating pool for men (UNLESS a man happens to like fat woman?).
*Before anyone considers this as shallow, lets turn the tables a bit and consider the UNIVERSALLY TRUE FACT that woman almost always say that they are not attracted to men who are shorter than them. Woman tell me this ALL THE TIME! Scientific studies bare this out. So if we are to accuse men of being shallow for not being attracted to overweight woman, then we must also say that most woman are shallow for not being attarcted to short men. In fact, I saw a nbc news piece about internet dating in America and they had a researcher state that for every inch in height that a man gave up, he would have to make $15,000 more income to make up for it. Besides, we all know that men are visual creatures. We cant control what we are attracted to anymore than a woman can when it comes to short men. And to women’s credit, men are more sensitive to an obese woman than woman are to an obese man. Fact is, there are just some unavoidable biological truths of attraction in play that cant be denied and that affect both sexes.
2. Severe gender imbalance – Over supply of single men (10-15% in most cities). See proof here http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/04/unmarried-mal-1.html This causes woman to have too many choices and develop spoiled, picky, and unappreciative entitlement attitudes.
3. American woman 2nd least flirtatious in the world – This explains why its so easy to meet woman when men go overseas vs here in the US where woman don’t flirt with you. In the US environment, you have to try extra hard to make anything happen. In other words, the woman do not help you meet them. Therefore, if you are a shy guy who doesn't easily approach women in public, you will have a very hard time getting dates in America. But if Mr. Shy guy goes abroad where women initiate flirtation, he won't have to approach women in order to meet them. The women will often approach him!
See proof of study here http://blog.badoo.com/flirtation-study-names-u-s-women-worlds-least-flirtatious-almost-only-ecuadors-women-fl/
4. Feminism - has taught woman to be emotionally independent of and to not need men. See the research section for documented proof of this. Dating in an environment like the USA where woman do not NEED men is a completely different experience compared to dating in cultures where woman have been brought up to admire, respect, and appreciate and need men. The difference is astounding! For me, it was mind blowing.
5. American woman are generally unapproachable – See the photos along the top part of this website and in the approachable faces section of this site to see what I mean. Do you notice the difference in attitudes?? As the experts tell us, most communication is non verbal. Go to any public venue in the US such as a mall or public event and notice the lack of eye contact and lack of warm friendly smiles from most of the woman as they walk by you. Notice the stern and serious facial expressions, sometimes even cold supercilious steely eyed looks, and closed off body postures that says to men “don’t bother me”, or “don’t approach me unless it’s business related or unless you need directions”. Foreign woman on the other hand do just the opposite. They generally make eye contact and give off warm friendly smiles as you paass them by. They give off receptive sweet facial expressions and body language towards men that signal to men “Yes, it’s ok for you to try to talk to me. I would be pleased to meet you”. The reason for this difference is that woman overseas have not been subconsciously taught to disdain men and see male strangers as potential sexual predators, creeps, or dangerous. Even Dr Laura Schlessinger discusses this preset orientation by woman in America to be disdainful of men and view them as “dangerous”. (See research section for her quotes). Winston Wu of happier abroad has another theory about this anti approachability force field of American woman:
“I can only speculate and surmise that the individualistic values of our nation create a sense of separateness in the self, coupled with the modern feminist culture that over empowers women to lose their femininity and become independent, has caused some type of imbalance that has changed their human nature. These two factors could very likely produce a strong but false sense of self and ego, an illusion that American women overprotect in unnatural ways, such as by emanating this anti-stranger, unapproachable force field, among other things.”
Any man who has traveled overseas to Latino, asian, or Russian/Euro cultures can attest to this huge difference with the attitudes of the woman in public. How can a guy be expected to successfully meet woman at US public venues when these woman are so closed offand unreceptive towards meeting men???
6. American woman are age senstive. For men in their upper 30’s or 40’s or 50’s, it is extremely unlikely a girl in her 20’s will date you. Or, for guys in their mid 40’s and 50’s, its unlikely that a girl even in her early 30’s will want to date you. This leaves those men with few good options unless you actually prefer older woman and the baggage that typically accompanies them by this age. It’s a simple fact that woman in the US in their 30’s or 40’s are mostly divorced (if not jaded) and have children by this age. On the other hand, many foreign woman actually prefer 10-20 year age differences and single woman who have never been married and no children and in their upper 20’s and 30’s are quite common abroad compared to in the US. This is another one of the global dating secrets for men who find themselves striking out with younger woman in America.
There is no such thing as a mail order bride. No one orders anyone. These women use the internet to communicate with men now, just like a normal dating site. And it is important to note than when anyone derogatorily throws around the term "mail order bride" , keep in mind that with most international dating agencies or internet dating sites, the women get to browse and choose from profiles of men too. So the profile browsing and choosing definitley goes both ways. In other words, the women choose the men as much as the men choose the women. This procedure is no different than from American dating sites and agencies. And in fact, there is now an abundance of foreign woman profiles to browse from on most American dating sites such as yahoo personals and plenty of fish.com. No one is ordered to be a bride and never has been. This old axiom came about due to the fact that before the internet came about, American men and foreign woman had no choice but to communicate by mail, hence the term mail order. In addition, men and woman profiles were placed in catalogs due to the absence of the internet back then. The term is still used today mainly as a shaming tactic used against men who would consider going abroad for love and marriage since searcing for love abroad is still somewhat stygmatized, though is becoming less so as time goes on.
You are only getting half the truth
"There are Russian women that seek contacts with foreign men with the intention of future marriage. Those women are educated, intelligent and smart. They are not going to become intimate submissives or maids. They seek equal partnership and will not tolerate infidelity or abuse. There is nothing wrong with them; they are not doing anything different from women that place ads in your local personals. There is a lack of men in their country, why can't they look elsewhere? We all have the right to seek happiness."
These videos below are from the reality TV series Bridezillas. Many reality TV shows have emerged that focus solely on the haughty and selfish behaviour of women (i.e Bad girls club, Bridezillas, Big Rich Texas) because our society is recognizing that there is a growing trend with women in the US who are behaving in these dysfunctional, selfish, and narcissistic ways. Granted, only a small proportion of American women are truly quite as bad as these videos show, but it is also true that a very high percentage of women in the US do have these exact same types of dysfunction but just to a lesser degree than the extremes shown in these videos. They call it reality TV because there is a grain of truth to what is happening to a large percentage of women in American society. Throughout this site are quotes by Dr Jean Twenge and Dr Laura Schlessinger that confirm these facts. I believe the root cause of their unhappiness stems from the way they have been teaching themselves to live which is, in essence, a self centered way.
In the paragraph below, Dr Laura is touching upon the “Bad boy” syndrome of many American woman which is why so many are dysfunctional. This commonly known syndrome is about how American woman often prefer the jerks instead of the nice guys. In most other countries however, the reverse is true, Foreign woman prefer the nice guys because foreign woman recognize that “nice” guys make for a more healthy and stable relationship than the “bad boy” player types do. But another reason for this is that many American woman need to be “entertained” and find normal nice guys boring. This is totally not the case with most foreign woman.
"As a radio talk- show host/psychotherapist, I’ve got to tell you how remarkably true and sad it is that so many women struggle to hold on to some jerk, keep giving an abusive or Philandering man yet another chance, have unprotected sex with some guy while barely knowing his last name, agree to shack up and risk making babies with some opportunist or loser, all in a pathetic version of a pursuit for love, but will resent the hell out of treating a decent, hardworking, caring husband with the thoughtfulness, attention, respect, and affection he needs to be content. It boggles my mind. What further puts me in boggle overdrive is how seemingly oblivious and insensitive many women are to how destructive they are being to their men and consequently to their marriages. Women will call me to ask if its alright to go off on extended vacations “without him” when they want freedom or R&R, or if its ok to cut him off from sex because they’re annoyed about something or just too tired from their busy day, or if they really have to make him a dinner when he gets home from work because its just too tedious to plan meals." (Doctor Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg xiv)
"She discovered that she was becoming more naggy, hostile, and bitter, with a growing feeling that she was being cheated out of life. When her husband came home, she stopped going to the door with a hug and a kiss, stopped showing affection, stopped having sex, and even stopped the good-night kiss. Basically, she was blaming her husband for her unhappines, insiting that it was up to him to go out of his way to please her and pamper her to make up for how difficult her life was. Never mind how difficult his day was- which was only amplified by his wife’s angry discontent." (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 121-122)
WInston Wu of happier abroad describes this DYSFUNCTION best
"Morbidly, American women seem to treat abusive men better than they treat nice men. For example, if they dump a nice man, they will never give him a second chance, but if they dump an abusive man, they often go back to him and give him another chance. Therefore, in theory, you have a better chance of getting a second chance with an American woman by throwing her out of a moving car, then by being nice to her! How messed up is that?"
See this yahoo news video that discusses more about why American women like to date bad boys, jerks and players
American women consider 95% of the guys they meet as unworthy throwaways, beneath contempt, but throw themselves at the 5% who are on parole.
Apparently, Mark was set up on a date by a female friend of his. But even though the date went very well, she didn’t want a 2nd date with Mark as explained below:
“She said that Angie called her after the date and said you guys had a great time, but she thought she was troubled that you sent her an email right when you got home. She is terrified of stalkers and you violated the 72 hour no-contact rule. WHAT!?!?!?! Yep, that's right. I had violated her unwritten law about waiting 72.3 hours before communicating after a first date. Evidently, I learned that Angie had other "issues" in her life, but her friend hoped that we'd make a connection. She thought I was a nice guy who would help her friend find stability for her soul. Sorry, Dr. Davis is not Dr. Phil.”
An American woman on Plenty of fish dating forum admits her bad boy syndrome
These few samples below are typical of a large % of American women in the American dating scene. They have a dysfunctional attraction to jerks and players. Its like some kind of illness and dysfunction that is completely absent from foreign women. Ive noticed that Foreign women seem to have HEALTHY mindsets about the type of men they want in their life, which is the normal respectable nice types of guys. Men who date globally (myself included) have noticed that foreign women are different from American women in that foreign women are generally turned off by the player bad boy types. They see them as immature. I think this has to do with the fact that American women seem to have a need to be entertained or challnged in the dating game. Anyways, note how one of these girls below even admits to having many friends with the same "Bad boy" problem. The insanity of this is that American women tend to complain that there are no good men out there, and will claim that all men are jerks, but then look at the type of men they are trying to go for. Of course men are jerks if you are always going for the bad boy types who will never stick around. Duh! A large % of American women are the most dysfunctional women on the planet. Their relationships dont last because they go for the player types who end up screwing them over and so the cycle continues while the normal relationship healthy type guys (aka:the nice guys) get left out. Here are the two sample American women posts I chose to show as examples of this. I have never seen a foreign women say anything like this.
"After talking to a few friends who have the same problem, I've realized that a lot of the stress and confusion in my life comes from dating "bad boys"- you know, the type that always have an exciting date planned out, keep you laughing, and never make you feel creeped out by their clinginess. Unfortunately they're the same ones that vanish after a month or so because they're met someone younger/prettier/more exciting. I've met a few nice guys too but I always tend to get bored after the first few weeks because the novelty wears out and all you're left with is a repetitive cycle of dinner and movie dates. I know I'm capable of being in a long-term relationship. My four year relationship ended a few months ago because our paths were diverging but him and I are still great friends. I just want to know how I can stop being so enamored by the charm of the "bad boy" and find someone that I still have a great time with but that respects me. I'm sure some of you ladies have been able to work through this."
And another example post
"I've been on this site forever, and while I'm a very level-headed, sucessful woman in every other area of my life I have a pretty poor history when it comes to the men I have chosen both for long-term relationships and even in dating. I've always gone for the very attractive, bad-boy, striking, walks in a room and everybody knows he's there kind of guy and needless to say, I've been through some hellish relationship disasters as some of them have been abusive, (no, never tolerated it, but have encountered it) MANY have been players, or cheaters or liars and any combination of the above. I'm redoing my profile, so you can't judge much by that and I haven't posted any pics yet on my new profile.
Here's my problem, I've met a guy who I like a few weeks ago and we have seen each other almost every day. We have a lot in common and from everything I can see about him so far, he seems like the most legitimate, nicest guy. He is very taken with me and makes no secret of it and his actions prove it. There's no guessing, no wondering, no game playing...which is the very thing I have been looking for. Here's my problem. He's kind of cute, but, he just doesn't have that umphf about him that is usually such a turn on. So I'm really struggling with feeling like there's not much chemistry on my part toward him. I hate to let go of the one guy who seems to be truly genuine and sincere and not looking to just see if he can con me into bed and disappear or whatever other games gets played. I really thing this guy could be my chance at have a decent man in my life, finally! How do I get past this need for the mega-man, bad boy thing?"
Famous Cultural historian and social critic Morris Berman has observed this dysfunctional trait of many American women:
"As far as romantic relationships go, the possibility that we have reached an all time low in that department was captured by the wildly popular HBO show 'Sex in the City', in which four hip New York women regard men with utter contempt and go from one lover to the next, casually chewing them up, spitting them out, and then wondering why they (the women) are sad and lonely." (Morris Berman 'Dark Ages America' pg 40)
Fox News report on the war on men - By Suzanne Venker
American women are angry and think of men as the enemy
"As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with pop culture, I’ve spent thirteen years examining social agendas as they pertain to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same, ...... Women aren’t women anymore.
To say gender relations have changed dramatically is an understatement. Ever since the sexual revolution, there has been a profound overhaul in the way men and women interact. Men haven’t changed much – they had no revolution that demanded it – but women have changed dramatically.
In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.
Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry. Heck, men have been to blame since feminists first took to the streets in the 1970s.
But what if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is – hold on to your seats – women’s fault?
You’ll never hear that in the media. All the articles and books (and television programs, for that matter) put women front and center, while men and children sit in the back seat. But after decades of browbeating the American male, men are tired. Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them."
A "real" dating profile I found at plenty of fish.com that typifies why so many women in the US are so relationship dysfunctional
IMAGINE TRYING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH AMERICAN WOMEN LIKE THIS!!?
This is a real dating profile I pulled off of plenty of fish.com dating site that shows not only how American women typically have a mile long list of demands, but also shows how negative and disdainful they are of men. I'm not saying ALL American women do, but MOST do have this subliminal cultural disdain towards men to one degree or another and they don't even realize it because it's so ingrained within our culture. Such disdain and disrespect towards men is 100% absent with women of other cultures.
If you think profiles like this are uncommon, think again. Go visit any US dating site and see for yourself.
Why do so many good men in the USA just get totally ignored by American woman?
I have heard a few different explanations for this however the most generally accepted one seems to be the idea that in wealthy countries women don't need men for providers so they go around with bad guys because they find them more entertaining. While I can see this as clearly being true in the USA, I don't think this applies to all wealthy industrialized countries. I have met several girls from France, Germany, Japan, and even Scandinavia who, despite being raised in wealthy societies, actually appreciated a good man. To be honest, I consider this whole notion that the socioeconomic conditions of the country where a woman was born determine whether she pursues bad boys or good men to be just plain wrong. If it was true then I would not have met so many good girls from other wealthy industrialized countries. I think the reason is actually something more cultural, like there is something inherently wrong with American (and possibly all Anglo culture) that produces such spoiled and immature girls. I'm pretty sure that this same good man, had he grown up in Continental Europe, would have a loving girlfriend or wife and would be recognized for what he is; a good man.
It's a simple answer. American society has produced individuals with low attention spans who view boredom as a living hell. The result is that American women want to constantly be entertained and a good man is not as entertaining as the bad boy. In other industrialized countries that you mentioned, people are not constantly excessively stimulated and so do not find good men boring the way American women do.
I think tv plays a big role in this. Americans watch more tv than anybody else in the world. There are so many reality tv shows and other crazy stuff that tells women that they can pout, stamp their feet and demand whatever they want in a man. Also, tv shows and movies in America show men as incompetent losers and shows women as being smart and independent. Even commericals on tv show this.
That's part of it, yes. But it goes deeper than the short attention span. Mass media tends to influence society in greater measure than we realize. If you look at Hollywood productions, who are the men that are portrayed as most desirable and always get the girls? It is certainly not the nice guys, but the bad boys who have a certain edge.
According to many experts such as Dr. Laura Schlessinger and Jean Twenge, cycling through numerous sexual/hook up type of relationships (as we do here in America) can cause psychological damage to woman such as depression and anxiety to such an extent that American woman are likely to carry emotional baggage into their future relationships with men. (See Dr Laura's and Social Psychologists Jean Twenge's comments about this emotional baggage issue with many women in America in the next two sections right below this one).This often makes it difficult for them to have healthy relationships with men. In most non Western cultures such as Latin America and Asia, there is no relationship cycling, no hooking up (comparatively speaking). Generally, when foreign girls date someone, its serious and long term towards marriage. In fact, it's not uncommon that woman are still virgins into their 30’s in many foreign cultures (i.e especially the Philippines) Emotional baggage is relatively absent with most foreign ladies because they don’t grow up in a “hook up” culture (as Social psychologist refers to regarding American culture) They don’t end up sleeping with so many men as they progress into their adult hood. Both Dr Laura and Dr Jean Twenge touch upon this fact, see their quotes in the next section below:
Sadly, American culture teaches both men and woman to be whores. Perhaps such a statement sounds shocking? If you don’t believe me, then believe America’s leading social psychologist when she says:
“Another cultural-level manifestation of the narcissism epidemic in relationships is the trend toward “hook ups,” aka “friends with benefits,” and other commitment free relationships. Narcissists favor short-term relationships. That may help explain why hookups have become so popular. We cannot say for sure that one causes the other. All I can say is these are two trends that go along with each other.” (Jean Twenge - Newsweek).
“One reason the fangs may come out quickly is that many women who have cycledthrough too many intimate relationships, shack-ups, and marriages, have developed a well of pain and disappointment.”(Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 51)
“The cycle of meeting someone, falling in love, and breaking up is a formula for anxiety and depression” (Generation Me, pg 111)
“It was clear to me that we’re turning a generation of kids who don’t know how to have a relationship”(The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 225)
Here is an article (written yet again by a woman) that covers the reasons why many woman in America are still single. I couldn’t agree with it more. This article is also a mirror reflection of the statements made by other female experts I quote on this site (Dr Laura, Lori Gottlieb, and Jean Twenge). Based on my international travel and dating experiences, I found these problem attributes listed below to be quite rare with foreign woman. Men who have experience abroad will agree. Not to say that all or most “still single” American woman fall into one of these categories, but I believe that a great many do while very few foreign woman do.
Source - Huffington Post article why there are more unmarried women in the US than ever before
Women in America today are increasingly talking in truck driver or sailor like language as discussed in this online article here. You'll never hear foreign women talk this way and you'll never see a foreign woman's dating profile that will say things like as shown in these profiles below:
I want to start off by requoting one of the first paragraphs I came across at Winston’s Wu’s Happier Abroad website when I first encountered it. It really struck a cord with me when I read it. I refer to this as the golden rule of the American dating scene for men:
The Golden rule of the US dating scene – Woman don’t truly NEED men
“In the US it seems that every decent-looking female is either taken, super picky, or not even looking, leaving a large percentage of single males out of luck. They also carry baggage, and are jaded, cynical and unfeeling, lacking the positive qualities of the feminine. To make matters worse, they believe that they don't even need men, thus you are unwanted and unnecessary to them. Somehow, they seem to be "programmed" to reject and disqualify nearly every guy they meet. It's gotten so bad that it's not even worth your time to try anymore. The choices just aren't there. Thus, America has become a "dysfunctional dating hell" beyond words for men.”(http://www.happierabroad.com/secrets.php)
I don’t think any truer words have ever been said regarding the American dating scene for men. I think that one of the main reasons for this situation is that most woman in the US don’t need men. Feminism has also taught American woman to be disdainful of men and to subconcioulsy view men as predatory and dangerous which makes American woman rather stand offish to meeting strangers in public.This ruins the dating scene and makes woman rather unapproachable. Dr Laura Schlessinger talks extensively about these facts in her books as do many other credentialed and well respected relationship experts and social psychologists. Dr Laura’s quotes on this subject are listed further down below in this article and also in the “research” section of this site. But in reality, we don’t necessarily need Dr Laura or any other experts to tell us about these truths. One can simply see these differences for themselves by simply comparing dating profiles of American woman vs Foreign woman that I provide on this site. In this dating profile comparison chart, one can notice how American woman dating profiles will often say they only “want” men as a way to “compliment” them. On the other hand, foreign woman profiles commonly will state things like “I need a man to complete me”. American woman dating profiles often say “no creeps”, “no stalkers”, or “no bullshitters”. Unfortunately, as the American research shows, feminism has taught American woman to develop a jaded attitude and to subconscioulsy view men in a disdainful and predatory way. In addition, the American woman dating profiles are loaded with financial key words that reflect their perverse focus on a man’s career, money, and materialism. Such statements are completely non existent with foreign woman dating profiles. Lastly, you will clearly notice that American woman dating profiles usually contain a long list of demands. Foreign woman profiles do not, and in fact often say “looking for a man who will accept me for who I am”. Most guys find this difference in attitude with the foreign dating profiles very refreshing and sincere.
Surplus vs. shortage of attractive mentally healthy single women
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
“Another factor at work here that helps us men, is that in Russia, Philippines and in many countries, there is a surplus of attractive mentally healthy single women, rather than a shortage like in the US. As we men all know, in the US there is a surplus of nice good single men and not enough decent women. As a result, even the less attractive women in the US can afford to become picky, and quality single American men can easily have trouble finding any available decent women. Just go to a bar or nightclub in the US and you'll see that the men far outnumber the women. Even the unattractive women in those places seem like princesses to the surplus of disgruntled chumps there. It's a really pathetic scene for the nice guy. Some reasons for this may be the influx of male immigrant workers to the US which creates this male surplus, as well as the higher birth rates in poorer countries. A Russian woman named Natasha wrote this in response to my question of why she was seeking a foreign mate. "Because its very difficult to find someone special in my city. I live in a small city, we have a lot of girls, but not many boys. Some of boys doesn't want to have serious relationship, they want to have girl for one night, you understand what i mean. Some of them like to have fun and not care about future, some of them marryed and some of them prefer to drink to much. That is why i'm trying to find someone special abroad." Well she has a good point if you think about it. If the women outnumber the men, then the men will be less inclined to marry or have serious relationships because they are able to play around and have multiple relationships at the same time. Not that that's a good thing, but that describes the nature of many men. But hey, it‘s better for men to be polyamorous playboys then to be depressed, dateless and lonely in an isolating man-hating country that suffocates their sexual desires, that‘s for sure. Nevertheless, this situation means that the deck is stacked in our (average men) favor rather than stacked against us like it is in the US. However, I have to admit that unfortunately, this also means that many Western men who go to the Former Soviet Union will also be tempted to play around with multiple women and not get committed. In the US, the women have the upperhand advantage in the dating field. She has many men to choose from who are interested in her. You can tell that they have the upperhand because in America, there are hardly any lonely young women while there are always plenty of lonely guys who will jump at the chance to be with a woman. Thus, she can be super picky if she wants, and having many choices, can act like a spoiled princess, not even having to dress decently. This is not to the man‘s advantage at all, as he has to compete with too many other men for women. As a result, many decent men have to settle and take what they can get. However, in Europe/Russia and many other countries, the man has the advantage. He has many women to choose from, and does not have to settle or lower his standards. That is why women in the US don‘t relate to or understand men who have a better time in other countries. What American girls take for granted is that they are given the advantages in the US.
In the Philippines for example, I have so many hot beautiful women to choose from, that I usually have to limit my ?dating field to 3 at a time, or else I‘ll be overloaded. Those that aren‘t in my top three I have to flushed out, even if I like them a lot, simply because I can‘t make time for them, even if I want to! And if they contact me, I have to tell them that I‘m too busy to meet them. And that would NEVER be the case in the US!"
by Winston WU of happier abroad
"In the social and dating scene of America, there is no doubt that women have it much easier. The average woman has WAY more choices and opportunities in dating than the average man does. Even average looking women have it easier than many good looking men. Men are hitting on them all the time, even if they deny it. They have simply too many choices. It is just too easy for a decent looking woman in America, that they become far pickier than men can fathom. Dates fall into women's laps so easily that they don‘t even have to try, to the point that they have to fight and resist offers to have any time alone.
Yet they continually lie and go on TV talk shows and media and claim that there are no nice single men out there, which they know is a total lie. There are oodles of nice, honest, stable single men everywhere. The problem is that these American women are way too picky and their standards too unrealistic. Every woman thinks she‘s a goddess who deserves someone larger than life. So they make millions of nice single men out there feel like they don't even exist. How nice of them.
Decent looking women never have to be alone if they don't want to be, for they always have a steady supply of suitors and admirers that constantly replenish themselves. The only pretty women who are alone are those who chose to be that way, or those with major issues who hate and find fault with everyone. But on the other hand, for an average guy it's very hard to get a great social life. He has to be alpha status to even have a chance. And he has to do far more than just look pretty like women do. It's an uphill battle all the way. He either has to find a way to become popular, break into exclusive cliques, have the right connections, or be lucky enough to be picked by a decent girl early on.
But just being an average nice guy gets you nothing, as women don't need you for they have too many choices already. I've also seen how many responses decent looking women get when they place personal ads. I placed one for a female friend once, and was flabbergasted at how many good looking attractive successful interesting men wrote to her, everyday! She had so many choices that she didn't know what to do. Sheesh. It was unbelievable. No wonder why they are so picky and spoiled. American women have so many choices that they can be as picky as they want, simply because they can afford to. They get calls and emails from guys interested in them all the time. Even if you are good looking, it's still not enough, for they can demand status, money and personality too. Or even if you have money, it's not enough, cause they need looks and personality too. And if you have a great personality, they may require the other two qualities too. Even if you have all those traits, they can still ask for more, like special chemistry, or simply flake out for no reason. These women want it all. They are entitlement queens. Some women simply like having so many choices, that they never pick anyone because they don't want to lose the great feeling of having so many choices. They think that they deserve the best, which is what our culture teaches them, making them think that they are worth more than they really are.
In modern America most healthy athletic women don‘t even need men. They are too independent, tough, and unfeminine. You can see it in the way they walk out in public as though they have everything and need nothing, certainly not a man (of which they have too many to choose from already), making it very difficult or near impossible to impress them with anything. In America, it's not enough to just have a lot in common with a woman to get romantically involved with her, since women are way too picky and want a lot more than just that. Even if you and her are very compatible, she will still think she can do better. In her mind, she can get someone better looking who also has a lot in common with her. After all, she has SO MANY choices. So even when I have compatibility or much in common with an American woman, I still lose. On a related point, American women are the least likely to even be friends or hang out with a guy whom they have a lot in common with but are not attracted to. If they aren‘t into a guy, they want nothing to do with him, even if she says she likes him ?as a friend. Foreign women though, will befriend and hang out with a guy even if they aren't attracted to him, as long as he is interesting and worth their time."
In the research section of this site, Ive documented proof that American women are becoming more and more narcisistic. Social psychologist Jean Twenge has discussed the results of her and Gene Campbell’s research that has proven this fact. A direct result of their research resulted in this online news article …. See the news article here : American women and their inflated sense of their own fabulousness
A perfect example of this narcissism comes from Mark Edward Davis’s E book at http://europeandreamconnections.com where he shares some of his dating experiences he had with American woman:
“As I went out with a dozen more (American) women – some irritating themes kept arising. I had one tell me with a condescending swagger, "I've been asked out by many men. If I went out with you, what kind of date would you take me on?" What? Is this a high school talent show and the women are hosting a panel of judges like on American Idol? I couldn't believe the in your-face arrogance! But this was not the first or last time I would detect this type of attitude. The common theme with dating American women was, "Listen, mister, I make good money and I drive a nice car already. What else are you bringing to the table?" Now how selfish, unsweet and unfeminine is that? This attitude is not RARE! It is rather common with woman in America today. No thanks! Next please!
When upset, many American women will drop F bombs and flip people off. Many will angrily point and stick their finger in peoples face when scathing them. I’ve personally seen behavior like this in the US bar scene. It is also quite prevalent on many reality TV shows such as Donald Trump's "the apprentice" or MTV's "Jersey Shore", or “The bad girls club”. Women were not like this prior to the 60's and since then it's just gotten worse. Perhaps Jersey Shore and the Bad Girls Club purposely pick aggressive and confrontational women for ratings purposes, but it still reflects the realistic trend of women starting to behave confrontational and aggressive in US society (and to some extent, a few other Western societies too). On the other hand, as a general rule, foreign women never behave loud and obnoxious in public. They almost always remain classy and proper like a true lady should at all times. This is the observation of men like myself who have lived or traveled overseas and seen these differences first hand. (Disclaimer - Im not claiming ALL American women behave this way, but a significant % do.) For the most part we dont notice it because we are so used to it as being normal in our culture since we've grown up with it. Anyone American who moves from the US to overseas can see these differences quite clearly.
A question to my male and female readers
Have you ever noticed that at your job, it's always women who throw tantrums and fits, usually because they feel you slighted them or challenged their special stature in some way?? At every job I've worked at, I can't recall a single time when I had a run in or clash with any male co worker. It's always been with women. Have all of you noticed this too (whether you are male or female?) Most often it happens because they read tones in emails that aren't there. You have to be so careful with emails you write to women at your job, right? I would put forth the argument that if these women were foreign born and raised women, this would not be an issue. Ya see, I've worked with some foreign women too, and I noticed that they were always easy going, easy to get along with and never seemed to get upset by misreading "tones" in emails. I've noticed they are more emotionally mature and stable and down to earth. They never would become irate like American women so often do.
Social psychologist Jean Twenge (one of my experts I quote in this site) stated in her research that Narcissists can't handle any challenges to their ego or to their self perceived special stature in life nor can they handle any perceived slights. This is the same with women in America today! Jean Twenge stated in her research that women in America have been PRIMARILY and MOSTLY responsible for the significant rise in societal narcissism in America today that started in the early 1990's. This explains why American women will very easily react aggressively when they feel their ego threatened or when they feel slighted in any way. This can be seen in relationships with women of today when they so commonly say things like "who are you to tell me what to do!" or "How dare you say that to me!". You don't see much of this attitude and backlash with foreign women. It's an aggressive attitude based on the rise in their egos that didn't hardly exist prior to the 90's. In the workplace we see it show up in a similar manner but primarily in emails they read where they are super sensitive to any perceived insultory "tones" that just arn't there or at the very least, a man wouldn't even notice. And in fact, Jean Twenge explains in her books that America's epidemic of mass shootings is a direct result of societal Narcissism. Narcissists react extremely aggressive when they feel challenged or slighted. So this is the connection between the anger of narcissistic mass shooters and the noticeable rise in anger and unhappiness with women in America today in the workplace and relationships where they are super sensitive to feeling slighted or having their egos bruised .. If anyone pays attention in their work place, and try to take notice, you will realize that it's the American women that react this way. (I'm not saying all of them, just in general, you see a pattern). You'll notice that unamericanized foreign women in the work place never have this problem issue of perceived slights or bruised egos or a "how dare you say x " attitude. But you have to pay attention to notice these differences or else you won't see these differences .
Reference Jean Twenge's description below, doesn't this sentence from her book seem to apply to women in the work place at your various jobs over the years? How often have you experienced women getting upset over your supposed "tone" in an email??
Narcissists are also aggressive when someone tries to restrict their freedom (or challenge them). “Who are you to tell me what I can or can’t do.”(The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 196)
“You’re special, how dare anyone not show you respect?” Your spouse’s nasty comments or behavior are seen as fundamental challenges to your special stature in life, and thus you can’t just let them slide. The result is spiraling relationship conflict. (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 233)
This only makes sense because as Jean Twenge stated in her books , women have been responsible for most of the rise in Narcissism in the US these past few decades, it explains why they are so easy to feel slighted and react aggressively and angrily when their ego is threatened:
"Narcissistic personality traits rose just as fast as obesity from the 1980’s to the present, with the shift especially pronounced for women." (Dr Jean Twenge the narcissism epidemic pg 2)
"The upswing in narcissism appears to be accelerating: the increase between 2000 and 2006 was especially steep. The changes were especially large for women"(Dr Jean Twenge the narcissism epidemic pg 31)
“According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women”.
Bloomberg video clip proving the case
This video I took is a perfect example of the undisciplined aggressive nature of many women in America today. It's also an example of how masculinized many women in America today have become. Notice how out of control (lack of discipline) she is getting? Even men rarely get this aggressive. And yet , as usual with men on the receiving end, the man is keeping his cool despite her aggression on him? This is how many American women can get in marriage too. Foreign women are not even capable of this kind of "in your face" type aggression.
Aggressive attitudes of many women in America today
“Women who are in there 30's and single tend to be 4 things.
1. Very jaded...
2. A single mother with lot's of Drama in her life
3. A single women who who has a mile long list of who she is looking for which you don't picture into.
4. You don't make enough money for her to date you.”
99.99 percent of guys in America CANNOT simply go out and pick up a date any time they want to, like they show in sitcoms. In reality, most guys are limited by their clique's social contacts, which they have to rely on to meet prospective dates. So if their cliques do not have an extended network that can introduce them to single women who are interested in them, then those guys are out of luck. If you look up polls about couples in America, you find that most of them met through friends or back in school. They didn't just "go out and find each other. Online personals don't usually work out.
We are talking mainstream guys, not misfits.
Also keep in mind that there are vast numbers of mainstream men in America who are single and dateless, but who do not complain about it. They merely focus on their job and work and try to forget about their loneliness. I'm sure you've met those types. We all have. Such men will tend to agree with our claims as well. So you see, there are many mainstream men suffering too. They just are not vocal about it. They just focus on work instead.
1) As per Jean Twenge, one of America’s leading social psychologists:
“There are actually thousands more single young men than women in America. Between the ages of 25 and 39, for every 1 unmarried woman there are 1.2 unmarried men.The truth is that its single men who should be anxious and complaining “(Jean Twenge Generation Me, 113-114)
2)In addition,national statistics show that in the 25-40 age group, single men outnumber single woman by 10-20%”. This imbalance is HUGE!!
See the stats here http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/04/unmarried-mal-1.html
It results in Woman having the upper hand in the US dating scene. Numbers do not lie- have a look at statistics across the country and you will see that overall, young men outnumber young women by somewhere around 11:10. In some places it is 12:10 or more. Add to this the fact that Hollywood brainwashes young women that they deserve rich and handsome young husbands with big cars and great careers and houses, and the fact that 20% of sexy hunks with money and good looks get 80% of the women, and you have a recipe for a disaster for a simple young man who just wants a date. He can't get one because numbers and statistics are not in his favor. Social and demographic trends are not in his favor. The Puritanical culture of not talking to strangers is not in his favor. In other words, he is behind the eight ball when it comes to dating.
However, the above cold facts are not known to the average American Joe. So when he has trouble finding a date (at least one that he would find attractive), he is told that he is the problem. He is told that he lacks social skills to pick up women and needs to work on himself, that he needs to get a better job and improve his appearance, lose weight and develop confidence, pump some iron, or take a karate class etc. All this is a direct result of the bad demographics in the USA.
The solution to the problem is simple- the surplus of men should go to places on Earth where there is a shortage of men. We must export the attractiveness (and good reputation) of the American male to global markets where they are in demand rather than depending on the domestic markets alone. If that is being a loser, (as the stereotype goes) than any export company that tries to find better markets for its products is a loser, too. Can you imagine someone writing an email to a large global company such as Apple or IBM with billions in sales around the world and saying something like this:
“You loser, what's wrong with the good old American market? Why can't you find an American customer? What’s wrong with you?”
“Hey what's wrong with American investors? Why sell our treasury bills to the Chinese and Saudis?”
As it happens, an American Citizen ( of any race, age and looks) is in greater demand in many countries than he is at home where he is surplus merchandise. Men need to take advantage of marketing themselves on the global scale where they are in much higher demand.
“In South American countries, as men continue to migrate to the Upper Tier countries, they leave behind an ever-increasing female-to-male ratio. The pressure to compete for the available men forces the ladies to stay sharp and in-shape.It's simply a matter of supply and demand. In Latin America there is an overabundance of single Latin women (reports range from 3-6 women for every man)”.(www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
“In American gyms, there are always a lot more men than women working out to stay buff and impress the opposite sex. In the Lower Tiers countries like South America, it’s just the opposite: The gyms are full of women—not men—working hard to stay in shape, so they can stay in the game and compete. In such a competitive atmosphere, even beauty and a shapely figure are not enough to win the men they seek, so women master the art of seduction. In the process, they develop wonderfully friendly, warm personalities that make men feel very much appreciated.” (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
Try it and you will see what I mean. Go to two cities- Moscow and Manila. You will see more young women on the streets than young men. Always. And guess what else you will see? You will notice that the women try to look better, they behave in a sweeter manner, they try and be nice to guys because if they are not nice, another woman will whisk the guy away from her. Ya see, overseas the tables are reversed! Unlike in the states, single men are in huge demand!!
You will also notice that instead of steely, suspicious supercilious looks that you get from women in the US, or, no looks at all, your appearance as a man on the streets of Moscow or Manila will attract curious, friendly and warm expression of interest from young ladies all over. They will be asking you questions, flirting with you, and saying yes to a dinner invitation.
So, why are they so nice? Most Americans falsely assume that its because the ladies think you have money. Perhaps with a small minority of woman, this may be a significant factor. But with most, it’s simply because good men are hard to find over there. The gender imbalances being far more single woman than men (just the opposite situation of the US ), means that the men can get a girlfriend any time they want, and at any age. They do not need to exercise, take classes in improving social skills (such as a pick up artist class), they don’t need to dress well or join clubs. Simply put, the men are the ones who do the choosing!
*Note what the American ladies say and the way they respond when interviewed about this subject in this video. Their response just serves to confirm this study’s conclusion which is that American woman rarely flirt, so the man has to do all the work and often just gets rejected. This just destroys his self esteem and so men often don’t feel like approaching woman anymore.
This is also one of the biggest reasons why the US is one of the worst dating scenes in the entire world for men. Most men don’t realize this because they havent traveled and dated abroad. When I traveled overseas, I noticed that woman were making eye contact and giving me flirtatious signals. On my last trip to the Philippines I came across a pack of girls in a cell phone shop and they were giggling and flirting with me. Then one very cute girl from the back of the pack yelled out, “can I apply to be your boyfreind?”. Then she immediatley recoiled behind her friends in shyness. So darn cute and adorable. I ended up taking her to lunch.
Nothing like this ever happens to men in the US. Woman don’t flirt in the US and they don’t need men. (See the experts in our research section such as Dr Laura Schlessinger and NY Times best selling author Lori Gottlieb who agree with the idea that US woman don’t need men)
Article source - American women rate the 2nd least flirtatious in the world
“American women are the “least flirtatious” in the world, with the exception of those from Ecuador, according to a global study of online flirting.
They are less than half as a likely as women from Spain, the world’s most flirtatious, to make the first approach to a member of the opposite sex.Women in Anglo-Saxon countries are generally far less flirtatious than those in Latin ones. “Maybe it is their Puritan heritage”, wonders Lloyd Price. The average Spanish woman initiates 1.33 contacts with a man per month – more than double the figure for women in the U.S. (0.63)
“In America, men feel invisable to women. Women in the US don't flirt with men, smile at men or even make eye contact with men. Thank God not all women in the world are like this! Men can go to Thailand, Philippines, eastern Europe, Russia and South America and have women flirt with them and smile at them and make them feel like they are desired by women. When it comes to dating, in America, women do the choosing. But in the Philippines, Thailand, eastern Europe, Russia and South America, men do the choosing! What a difference location makes!”
“I find that American women will look in the opposite direction when passing me without making any eye contact AT ALL. In addition, only a select few will return a hi or hello and even that is forced. This is part of the overall paranoia American women have about men. Feminism drills it into them that men are potential rapists or abusers and this seeps into the psyche of the women who are on "creepy guy" alert at all times. Just browse American dating profiles and see how many American woman profiles mention the word creep such as “Im looking for a non creepy guy”.
“How true! American women avoid eye contact with men at all costs! If you do make eye contact with them, they immediately look away. Other guys I know, have said the same thing. This occurs anywhere in public places, like bookstores, grocery stores, shopping malls and health clubs.”
“How are you supposed to approach women in America, when they have that look on their face that says, "don't talk to me or try to approach me”.
“That's all part of the culture shock of travelling to other countries. We are so used to being ignored and demonized here at home that when we travel out of the country we have to make adjustments because "we're not in Kansas anymore". This includes getting over the fact that if you say "hello" to a foreign woman your chances of getting a dirty look or nasty comment are slim to none. The "bitch shield" on women pretty much only exists in North America and to some extent, the west.”
“I randomly got chatting to a Filipina on yahoo today. It was fairly casual, but then she said "Let me show you something" and requested for me to see her webcam. When I accepted, she held up to the camera a piece of paper that had "I LIKE YOU" written on it. No one told her to do this, she did it out of her own sense of creative feelings. You would NEVER get this kind of sentiment from a Western woman. See this is the kind of stuff that makes us Western guys never ever be able to go back to our native women.”
Throughout most of my single life, I've always had an attraction to foreign women and spent most of my life dating foreign born woman. From my experiences, I have found foreign women to be more humble, more natural, more genuine, more authentic, more down to earth, more appreciative, and more accommodating, and especially far less materialistic. (Though as I’ve previously stated, some American woman can be this way too –thoough, they are more of a minority however and get taken off the market quite fast) And foreign woman do not have a sense of entitlement like is so common with woman in the West. But it wasn't until I traveled and dated overseas that I found out just how vast these general differences between American and foreign women really were.
Unfortunately, we all tend to have a strong subconscious assumption that for the most part, besides speaking a different language and having different customs, that women’s basic behaviours and attitudes are pretty much the same the world over. This is a HUGELY wrong assumption!! While there are some things that woman the world over do have in common, there are many critical things that they DO NOT and this is of HUGE significance when it comes to the dating scene for men. For starters, other countries do not suffer the unhealthy Obesity epedemic like we do here in the states. Then personality wise, woman abroad are far more genuine, authentic , approachable, pleasing, sweet, tender, and feminine (feminine = shy,blush, or even giggle when you flirt with them). When was the last time you saw a woman in America giggle or blush? For any reason? Perhaps back in the 1950’s!! Their femininity that they once had prior to the 60’s is now completely gone. In addition, it’s very easy to start a conversation with woman abroad because they are very interested in talking with men even if those men are strangers. There is no fear of men as strangers like there tends to be here in the US. And because they are more down to earth, conversations tend to flow much more naturally and smoothly. And they usually look up to you when you talk or flirt with them. You don’t feel demonized for flirting with or complimenting a girl like you are made to feel when doing these things in the US. (And this kind of thing can easily be misconstrued as sexual harrassment in the states and get you thrown in jail!) It makes you at least feel like you are “in the Game”, which is far more than many American men can say about their own standing within the US dating scene of today.
The dating scene is not the only thing that improves when you go abroad. Its also your overall mental health and the way you feel about yourself, especially for men, because for men, having 1000’s of easily obtainable gorgous sweet woman all wanting to be with you has a drastic impact on your self esteem and sense of self worth.
“the macho orientation of other non western cultures teaches woman to cherish their womanhood, and gives priority to the well being of the male of the family: “Take care of your husband” is an early lesson taught on these cultures. This creates a culture in which women are kind, warm, and very nurturing—and interested in treating you like a prince!”(www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
“Tainted by feminism and materialism, many American women not only expect a lot from their men, they don’t want to give very much in
return. Instead of appreciation, many cultivate the popular “bitchy”(or nagging) attitude that many American guys have become so accustomed to.” (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
“Unless you have traveled you don’t know whats out there.”
Another post at plentyoffish.com dating site message board
“The last three years of being on the American dating market - made me realize it isnt for me at all. All the time I spent abroad with the military- I know there is better behavior, and I wont settle for the drama and prattle. Get a language, and get out - see the world, your love life will be much happier for the trip.”
Another post at plentyoffish.com dating site message board
“I’ve met a few foreign women in real life and online, and the main thing I have found (And im bound to offend someone with this statement) that foreign women were less spoiled, sympathetic, and more understanding of lifes hardships. I find too many American women to be spoiled brats who are superficial and shallow, and in the long run care about one thing. Money. If i had my ultimate choice I would only date forieng women. But its not a realistic choice in a small town in the middle of nowhere.”
Consider this excerpt from Mark Davis of European Connections as he talks about his experience in Latin America
“We went to different dance clubs each night and spent a lot of time with many beautiful women. hey were very different from the others I'd just been dating in the States. It was something about their culture and appreciation of men that grabbed my attention. Everything they did, said, asked was about me first and foremost. When I was with one of these bronze beauties, the questions were about me: my life, likes, interests, experiences. They would continually gauge my state of mind and body – was I hungry, bored, or thirsty? They wanted to know so they could respond in kind.When I was with one of these women, I was their world – even if it was for only that hour.The way they view beauty is unique. It is something they have to work for each day. They are mindful of how they dress, put on makeup, their style, posture, physical fitness, and presence. It is work for them and they just wanted to know that it was appreciated and noticed. To give a sincere complement about some specific attribute will make them light up like a Christmas tree. It seemed to make their efforts to be beautiful all worthwhile. To enjoy being with these women was effortless. I never felt self-conscious. I was embraced like the man of the hour. And it truly was their pleasure.”
More excerpts from Mark Davis of European Connections as he talks about his experiences with foreign woman for which I have also experienced as true
“In her fourth letter to me she asked a profound question. It's a question that makes all of this very simple. She asked, "What would you like a woman to do every day, to act or be, for you to feel happy?" What would I like for a woman to do for me every day to make me feel happy? Wow. That blew me away. Have you ever had an American woman ask you that question?”
One well travelled gentlemen shares a few of his experiences in South America
"One night at a salsa club in Medellin Colombia after I bought a bottle of rum, my date quickly fixed me up a drink without me saying a word. She then asked me if I liked the drink, else she would fix it to my satisfaction. When was the last time an American girl EVER did something like this for you"(http://www.mavericktraveler.com/how-my-life-regained-harmony-after-i-stopped-dating-american-women/ )
"On one of my most memorable nights in one of Rio de Jeneiro's nightclubs, I remember approaching a beautiful woman without any games, lines, or gimmicks. I simply smiled and said that I couldn’t believe a beautiful woman like herself was sitting all alone (she was truly stunning). She smiled, and feeling flattered responded whether I start a conversation with every woman like that. Can you imagine a beautiful American woman responding the same way? She sure wasn’t bitchy and defensive like a typical American woman in similar situation". (http://www.mavericktraveler.com/how-my-life-regained-harmony-after-i-stopped-dating-american-women/)
Now, if a man were to approach a woman in America who is sitting or standing alone at the bar and say the same words, I dont think it would go so well right? I think most of you guys know this already. However, overseas you are allowed to be yourself and show genuine interest without it being viewed as perverted or creepy or predatory. Unfortunatley, most American women have been culturally conditioned to have their "Creep" radar so cranked up, (some people call it a bitch shield, but I digress) that most often, something like this wouldn't end well. In fact, see a few examples of my own personal stories at the bottom portion of my approachable faces section to see how even the most simplest and innocent approaches can go awry in America.
One man's experience in China
"After that, we went for some pizza in the Tianhe Department store, which is a nice upscale mall. While eating, they would always take care of me, always pouring more drinks on my glass. When the pizza arrived, they would give me the best and biggest slice before helping themselves. Once they were done, they were serving me more pizza and they stopped eating. I asked them why they were not eating and they simply said that "i'm the man and I need to eat more than them, the girls." I was blown away. Not only they were polite, kind, charming and very feminine, but they also paid their way! At the end, when the bill came, I just grabbed it from the waitress and at first they didn't want me to pay it but I insisted. And they were very grateful. What is the likelyhood of such an experience happening with a North American women? LOL"
European/Russian women have a better combination of qualities
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
"In general, women in Europe/Russia are much more open, friendly, intellectual, and feminine than their western counterparts. Their personality, dress style, interests, and aura reflect that. With a typical European/Russian woman, you get the best qualities of East and West. They have an outer physical beauty comparable to attractive thin American women without the feminism or spoiled attitude of the states. And they have the discipline, values and domestic skills of the typical women in Asia, but without their rigid mentality, extreme shyness and lack of independent thought. Finally, they have the intellectual side typical of Russian/European women. You can't ask for a better combination of qualities. In addition, their maturity level is far higher than their American counterparts. These reasons are why many Western guys who experience women in Europe/Russia usually exclaim "Where have I been all this time?!" But with a modern American woman on the other hand, you get a strange mix of strengths and weaknesses, neither of which are to your advantage. In one sense, they are strong because they are independent, liberated (by their definition that is) from traditional feminine roles and qualities, and do not need a man to function or be happy. But in another way they are weak because they are uncomfortable talking to strangers, have a paranoid mentality, and get "creeped out" way too easily, sometimes over trivial things. And they are insecure about traveling alone or going alone to a movie, restaurant, or party. But European and Russian women don't generally have such weaknesses."
My personal story :
I want to take a moment to share a personal story on this subject that really is a great example of how foreign women do thigs differently. I had once met a Columbian girl through a international dating site. Her name was Angela. While most profiles on these International dating sites are of ladies overseas, some of them are profiles of foreign ladies currently living in the US. Angela met up a few times, once in Georgia and once here in Texas. When Angela came to see me here in Texas, we stayed at a local hotel for her weekend visit. Of course she had no car so I did all the driving. This hotel was a good 30 minute walk each way from the closest convenience store of any kind. What Angela did one Saturday morning was quite amazing. Apparently, while I was still asleep, she had snuck out early that morning. When I later woke up, I saw that she had bought me a dozen roses in advance of my birthday that was due in the following month. WOW! First of all, guys, has a women ever bought you roses before? How different and authentic is that? But more IMPORTANTLY, can you believe she woke up early to walk 30 minutes each way in the sweltering heat of summer to surprise me with a dozen roses before I woke up?? Talk to any guys who have dated or married foreign woman and you will see that such acts of appreciation and dedication are not so uncommon.
Another thing she did which has been my experience with other foreign women also is that after every time I took her out, she took my hand and gave me a warm hug and said "Thank you". I don't necessarily expect any woman to have to do that, but I have to say, it was very sweet and different from what I expeienced in the US dating scene.
This reminds , of a quote I once read on the internet that said:
“My Filipina wife is quick to say “I love you”, “Thank you”, and show respect very frequently. This warms my heart and makes me more than willing to return my love as well. While my American X is more inclined to say “what have you done for me lately”.
"Foreign women tend to remain friends with guys they break up with, harboring no ill will, keeping in contact to see how he‘s doing, and visiting each other when they‘re in the area. On the other hand, American women are the least likely to remain friends or keep in contact with former lovers, boyfriends and spouses. In fact, they treat them worse than enemies. At least enemies acknowledge each other‘s existence while spewing and trashing each other. However, American women treat their exes like they never existed, as if they were total strangers. After a breakup, they stop all contact with their ex, pretend that they never knew him, and flush him out of their life completely, in a cold-hearted sociopathic manner. Their last words to their ex are usually ?Don‘t ever call me again (or else I will get a restraining order). This pattern has been true in my experiences with my exes as well. It just goes to show how the foreign women still have a normal heart while the American women somehow killed theirs off."
Some guys may not care about any of these differences and that's fine. My job here is to simply share what I know based on my experience and what I know other men report experiencing with foreign women.
Article source at MSNBC news : Dr. Laura on women share blame for cheating men
Although this article below is talking about why some men cheat. It is 100% accurate about what men want and need from women to be happy and fulfilled. Foreign women are notorious for delivering these things in a relationship whereas many American women no longer do because of the culture of feminism which as taught many women not to be this way. I have boldened and hi lighted these things I’m referring to in the article below. Dr Laura truly knows what makes men tick.
By Mike Celizic
updated 3/11/2008 11:37:47 AM ET
Dr. Laura Schlessinger has never been one to shrink from controversy, and she leaped headlong into one on Monday when she said that if a husband cheats, his wife may share some of the blame.
“When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,” the popular psychologist and radio personality said.
More commonly known as just “Dr. Laura,” Schlessinger made the remarks while participating in one of several panel discussions on TODAY dealing with the breaking news that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer had been connected to a high-priced prostitution ring.
The comment touched off a storm of protest, both from other members of the panels and from viewers, who flooded the show’s online mailboxes with mostly conflicting views.
Schlessinger later emphasized that she was not excusing Spitzer’s behavior. Nor, she said, was she saying that his wife, Silda Spitzer, was in some way to blame for his indiscretion.
“I do not know anything about their personal lives,” she said.
But, she persisted, frequently when there is infidelity in marriage, both spouses share the blame.
“You’re saying the women should feel guilty that they somehow drove the man to cheat?” asked TODAY co-host Meredith Vieira.
“The cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving,” Schlessinger replied. “But, yes, I hold women responsible for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.”
Others who participated in the panels disagreed strongly.
“I refuse to believe that this adultery is the wife’s fault,” said anthropologist Helen Fisher, who had discussed the evolutionary reasons for infidelity.
Dina Matos, who had stood by the side of her former husband, then-New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey, when he announced in 2004 that he had conducted a homosexual affair with one of his advisers, also took strong exception.
“This is absurd,” she said. “It’s just like blaming a rape victim. And we see this all too often. It’s just insanity.”
Another relationship expert, psychologist Jeff Gardere, said that trying to decide who’s at fault is beside the point. “It’s not about the blame game,” he said. “It’s about looking at what’s going on in this marriage that may have been ripe for this to happen. But the person who cheats is doing it for a very selfish reason. It’s a very selfish act.”
In a final appearance with TODAY’s Ann Curry and Hoda Kotb, Schlessinger stuck to her guns.
“The point is, what he’s done is wrong. The point is, what she’s done is wrong,” she said. “I have kept marriages together after affairs because I have reminded women that you have the power to turn this around. He had his children with you. He has his future life plans with you, his dreams, his whole mind, body and soul was wrapped up in the promise of you. If you now turn that back on, all that stuff you turned off because ‘I’m busy’ or ‘I’m irritated’ or ‘I’m annoyed’ or ‘I’m self-centered’ — if you turn that around, you have that man back.”
She said that there are reasons why men look outside the marriage for sex and companionship.
“I would challenge the wife to find out what kind of wife she’s being,” she said. “Is she being supportive and approving and loving? Is she being sexually intimate and affectionate? Is she making him feel like he’s her man? If she’s not doing that, then she’s contributing to his wrong choice.”
The comments sent viewers to their computers in droves, flooding the TODAY Show with e-mail within minutes.
“How dare you sit there and smugly say women are responsible for their spouse's cheating? If a husband is not getting what he needs at home, he has a responsibility to discuss and communicate this with his wife. If that doesn't work, seek counseling. Not getting your way is not an excuse to break a wedding vow. I am APPALLED!” wrote one New Jersey woman.
“I take offense to Dr. Laura’s response about women being the reason men cheat on their wives, as I am trying to help my sister get through a very difficult time with her own husband right now,” wrote a viewer in Philadelphia. “I can tell you for a fact that she has done everything a wife could possibly do to make her husband feel as though he is the only man walking this earth, but instead of him reacting to this in a positive way he goes out and cheats on her … I guess this is her fault for not bowing down and kissing his feet when they BOTH get home from work!”
Although they were in the minority, a few viewers supported Schlessinger’s position.
“Dr. Laura is correct. Men cheat and women cheat. I wish everyone would stop acting like Dr. Laura has done something wrong when all she has done is point out the obvious,” wrote a viewer calling herself Heater. “It is human nature to seek out comfort when they are not receiving what they need at home.”
Schlessinger said later in the show that there are some instances in which it doesn’t matter what the wife does.
“If he’s sociopathic or narcissistic, all bets are off,” she said. “The woman can be the best person in the world, and he’s going to be a jerk.”
But most men aren’t like that, she said, adding, “The average husband longs for one thing, and that’s to be special to his woman.”
Kotb asked her if she would stand by her husband as Silda Spitzer and Matos did by theirs in a similar situation. “If I had been a truly loving, caretaking, supportive wife, and my husband did such an egregious thing, his butt would be standing there by itself,” Schlessinger replied.
More often than not, the attitude of an attractive American woman is “Hell yea I’m hot”! Just go visit any singles bar or club scene in America today to see this for yourself. But a foreign woman will often deny her beauty. In fact MOST of the time I’ve noticed that Filipinas especially are known for denying their beauty. However, I’ve never seen nor heard of an attractive American woman denying her beauty though. In fact, when you tell a foreign girl (especially a filipina) that she is beautiful or pretty, most of the time she will deny it and say “no I’m not” or she may say “there are other girls much more pretty than me”. When I asked my filipina friend why filipinas usually respond this way, she said the following “Out of humility or shyness, plus we’re brainwashed for our heads not to get big if someone is complementing us...so to moderate we sort of pass the glory to others”. Now, isn’t that something? Pass the glory to others? A phrase like this could only come from a foreign woman. Guys, stuff like this is the difference I’m talking about! It’s called HUMILTY! Throughout this site I have documented where Dr Laura Schlessinger and Jean Twenge specifically state that too many woman in today’s modern day America are lacking this one healthy relationship quality.
You can even see this news article about the lack of humility with women in America today - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html
Furthermore, in her book, Jean Twenge states …..
“In many ways, humility is the opposite of narcissism. Some people misconstrue humility as bad, equating it with shame or self-hatred. Humility is not the same as humiliation. True humility is a strength - the ability to see or evaluate yourself accurately and without defensiveness (notice we said “accurately” not “negatively”). Overall, humble people are more connected to others. When you don’t concentrate on pumping up the self, it is easier to relate to other people and the wider world. (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 283)
This explains why foreign cultures are so connected to each other.
And very often you will see foreign woman dating profiles that say “Looking for a man to accept me for who I am” . Do you think you would ever see a American woman profile say that??? Too many American women think they are really special and entitled. In fact, they feel so entitled that their dating profile is often nothing more than a long list of of demands rather than talking sweetly about finding someone to love them or about having a family. Their profiles are all about THEM and their needs: "I need, I want, you must have, (you) must be....college, high status job, high income, blah blah blah.” American women in particular are very focused on money rather than the person. Disclaimer- Not all of them of course, but as a general pattern this is absolutely true. (Though Christian women and country/small town women are less likely to be this way).
A few internet posts I came across also comments on this humblness
“I must say on sites such as dateinasia where you rate your appearance many Asian women will say they are average or below average and still look better than many American women that say they are attractive or very attractive on their profiles at American dating sites. Meh.”
“What I find best about the people here (and the women) is the nearly complete lack of pretension. Even if you go to an upscale mall in the Philippines maybe 5 out of 100 girls at most have that "I'm too good for everyone around me" look. In my home NYC, it seems that at least half of them have that "Too good for you" look”
"I take it for granted now, but the lack of stuck-upness with the girls (in Latin America) is something I noticed immediately upon arrival".
I believe that this difference in humblness is another reason why foreign woman make such quality marriage partners with only a 20% divorce rate compared to America’s 50-60% divorce rate.
It's a proven sociological fact that poorer people tend to be more kind, compassionate and friendly than middle class and above people due to their need to be more interdependent with others to get by. As women from non industrialized foreign countries tend to come from poorer society’s, they tend to have these better social qualities.
“Poor people are quicker than
middle-class or rich individuals to recognize the suffering of others and to
show compassion, according to a new study."These latest results indicate
that there's a culture of compassion and cooperation among lower-class
individuals that may be born out of threats to their well-being," study
author and social psychologist Jennifer Stellar said in a university news
release."Upper-class individuals appear to be more self-focused”
(Source http://news.yahoo.com/poor-people-may-quicker-kind-170406037.html )
Winston WU of www,happierabroad.com explains it this way:
"The poor are unspoiled and dependent, so they often have to cultivate good inner qualities in their personalities and behaviors to get what they need, and to compensate for their lack of material assets, especially since they depend on interdependent relations with others. In other words, they have learned to treat others nicely to get ahead, whereas Western women do not need to and can get away with treating others bad due to their overly high entitlement status. So that’s another reason why poor people are nicer. So because of this, their character being developed differently than ours."
While I’ll admit that the the personification of many American women below is exagerrated, it does have a grain of truth to it.
A view into the mind of an American woman when she is being approached by a man whom she doesn’t know – unlike the photo above - This one is not exagerrated!
While the following examples below are some of the worse or more extreme examples that often happen to men when approaching a lady at a bar or singles scene in America, it nevertheless reflects the problems that are out there today with many American women. When approached, especially if the lady is attractive, many American women will often:
1) Flat out ignore him (10%-15% of the time)
away from him, and laugh “at him” with her friends at his supposed
"lame" attempt to talk to her. (10% of the time)
* Ive witnessed this numerous times. Apparently many American women get some kind of egotistical thrill by humiliating men in front of their friends. There are many YouTube videos by men who complain about this sick narcissistic behavior by so many American women. (This kind of sick narcissism is completely non existent overseas!).
3) Put off a vibe of total indifference (90% of the time)
4) Put off a vibe that shows that she thinks she is too good for him (60% of the time)
5) Display body language that clearly shows that she wishes that the guy would just leave her the hell alone! (70% of the time)
*Again, these behaviours seem to mostly occur with the attractive women, not so much with the unattractive or overweight ones.
1-5 above just covers how woman treat men in the bar scene. But what about in public like at the malls and stores? Well, it’s still really bad when approaching woman at these places too. Winson Wu of happier abroad describes this issue best :
Internet post at the happier abroad message board which is spot on about the majority of American women
"About a month ago I asked this anglo MILF I picked up about this very issue and she said the same thing. It's simple, females hate it when guys they don't like hit on them, she was blunt about it."
Winston Wu of happier abroad puts it best
“Trying to meet and approach young women in the US often feels awkward and rude, as if you are violating some type of boundary. They prefer not to acknowledge your existence if you’re not in their clique. They are among the most cliquish, closed, and anti-stranger women in the world, and emanate an “unapproachable force field” around them. This anti-stranger force field bubble says to men, "Don't mess with me. I'm unapproachable. I don't talk to strangers. If I don't know you, you have no business talking to me unless you are lost and need directions.” (Unless of course, you are or look like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt.). You can sense some kind of shield as if you are violating some type of boundary. If they find out that you are speaking to them for purposes other than asking directions, they suddenly get defensive, upset, and act as though you’ve violated their boundaries. Attempting to penetrate their bubble elicits a negative response which causes an energy drain on men that discourages them from trying again. That’s why most guys in the US don’t have the guts to approach women. It’s unnatural, creepish, anxiety-provoking, discouraging and usually leads to no real result. What many guys, especially the ones involved in the PUA (Pick Up Artist) movement don't understand about the fear of approaching women is that the reason they are afraid is not because they lack guts. It's because they can sense that the girls they want to meet do NOT want to be approached, so that to do so would be rude and violating. Not to say that there are no friendly women in America, but there is definitely something peculiar that makes them and Americans in general unnaturally closed and paranoid. So the main problem is that they won’t meet you if they don’t know you, but yet you can’t get to know them cause they won’t meet you, thus creating a CLOSED LOOP against someone who wants to meet them. And that just plain sucks, to put it simply.
“What sucks about America, despite its many ideal qualities, is that the only truly friendly open women are the large ones, while the non-overweight ones are generally stuck-up and unapproachable (though in many areas, such as LA, even ugly girls are rude and uppity).
On the other hand, in the rest of the world, women feel flattered and react warm and sweetly when you approach them, whether they are interested or not, whether they are available or not. They don’t get offended or see it as creepish. Many often giggle or blush in the process (how many American women nowadays blush or giggle?). In fact, the difference in approachability is greater than the average American who’s never left their country can imagine. Even if you approach a female movie star, model, or married woman in Russia, she never gets offended or defensive at your initiation like American women do, so you never feel like you are a creep for the attempt. It’s a total refreshing contrast. That’s how “real women” are, and it’s truly feminine. Basically, a guy is allowed to be himself abroad, rather than suppress who he is. But most guys reading this wouldn’t know this difference until you’ve left the Puritanical “Matrix” of the US, otherwise you have nothing to compare to.
To try to put it into words, an approachable girl looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED! INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all.
I'm not saying that there are no sociable or friendly people in America, but there is definitely something peculiar that makes Americans unnaturally anti-social, non-inclusive, isolationist, and cliquish toward strangers. In most of the US, strangers are strangers and people don't like to meet you unless it's through an organization like work, school, clubs, common friends, church, etc. and even then, it's not always easy to get to know them or become a part of their social circle. I‘ve always found that to be awkward and unnatural. And this is especially true more so of women than of men of course as for some reason, as American women are far more cliquish than American men comparison-wise."
In fact, it’s widely agreed among well-traveled playboys that the US has among the most unapproachable and anti-social women in the world.
This one taken from the message board at plentyoffish.com
Try taking the stigma of sexual harrassment out of the American way of life and dating would be sooooo much better. I work in Europe and the US and find that women in the US seem to have an evil glare if you look their way...mind you not all. But in Europe they are upset if you don't comment about the way they look. Maybe that is more of an attraction than anything.
This one taken from single dudetravel.com
“American women also have the most unattractive feeling of self-entitlement. The difference between how hot a girl thinks she is and how quality she actually is huge in America. What American guy hasn’t had the experience of being in a bar and approaching a marginally attractive girl and tried to say hi to her only to have her be extremely rude for no good reason?”
One anonymous quote said:
"In America, generally speaking, women don't want to be approached. They often huddle together in groups to avoid talking to strange men"
A popular blog called Maverick Traveler
"I remember my last trip to Pereira Colombia, I was walking in El Centro area of town shopping for shoes and I met this 20 year old smoking hot sales girl, I started talking to her about certain shoes that I wanted and before you know she was giving me her number to go out the next night. One of those girls here in the States would never give her number out or be an asshole about it."
Winston Wu’s of happier abroad talking about his experience in Russia
That afternoon, when the tour was over, they dropped us off at the Hermitage, this gigantic museum that was like a labyrinth inside. Near the end of the tour, this tall skinny attractive brunette with a totally cute smile made eye contact with me, and I with her. She seemed interested in me, so we approached each other. She was a tourist too, with a video camera (Russians with video cameras must come from rich families obviously!). She started speaking to me and asked if I was Japanese. I said no, that I was American. And then from there we had a friendly cute conversation, even though she barely spoke any English. I could tell she was interested in me, so I told her where I was staying at and asked if I could telephone her later. She said yes and we exchanged phone numbers. Wow, a gorgeous girl like that has NEVER approached me out of nowhere in the USA! I was stunned! Why is it this easy in Russia? I was wondering if she wanted something from me, but I don't think so. From what I learned, she is obviously from a rich family since she has a small electronic camcorder, was able to afford to go to a $20 ballet (most Russians make $50 a month), has been to Japan before, and has braces too (which most Russians can't afford). She obviously seemed to like me too, since she was very flirty and friendly with me. I can't believe it was that easy to meet her here. In America, this would be almost impossible.
These unapproachability problems are part of the attitudes that feminism has instilled to some degree in most of our woman in America, as well as the innate premise and idea that woman generally don’t need men. Most of us are unaware of this on a conscious level. It exists mostly at a subconscious level because it’s part of our American culture that has taught woman to be this way. One phrase that Dr Jean Twenge used in her book to describe this lack of awareness is …..“A fish doesn’t know it’s in water”!This unsweet egotistical type of behavior by many American women in the singles/bar scene today is one of the main things that finally pushed me over the edge to become an ardent activist for helping men realize they don't have to deal with this kind of insensitive attitude. When I traveled overseas, one of the biggest differences I noticed is that girls do not have a unapproachable force field around them, they openly flirt and have a natural relaxed air about them. Foreign women simply aren’t as guarded, they’re more kinder, sweeter, and friendly due to the environment that they were rasied in. Men who havent traveled simply wont have a point of reference for comparing foreign woman to their local woman. If all American men had experienced dating abroad at some point in their lives, they’d realize how much better their dating options are overseas! But most guys don’t know this.
Men must come to realize that they have better love and dating options outside America, where women will treat them right, where woman are still soft and sweet, and still act shy and blush or even sometimes giggle when being flirted with. Compare this to America where the guy approaching a lady for conversation is more likely to be viewed as a threat (someone please call the police on this creep!) or a potential predator. For example, I can't tell you how many times I’ve been talking to a girl at a bar or club only to watch her friend(s) pull her away from me and say, "My friend doesn't want to talk to you" or "Sorry, but she is coming with us". This makes men feel bad, it makes us men feel like as if we are some kind of predatory criminals to be feared. It’s a disdain and distrust of men. I am not treated like a predatory criminal when I approach woman at a bar or club overseas, nor do I get this mal treatment when I approach “fresh off the boat” foreign woman who just recently arrived in the US. For proof of this, see our research section of our site where we quote Dr Laura Schlessinger as stating in her books that feminism has taught woman to subconsciously view men as “dangerous”.
Another difference is that overseas, the hottest women (even model quality women!) will react in a humble appreciative manner when you approach them! They actually appreciate a compliment, unlike in the states where women more often than not will twist or perceive it in a negative light, such as a man’s "lame" or "cheap" or "desperate” pick up attempt to “get in her pants”. Oh, and lastly, when overseas, you don’t see packs of woman on the dance floor doing their fake gyrating lesbian acts whose sole purpose is to tease men in order to communicate to the men that they don’t need them.
Foreign men know this difference is real. See this post at plenty of fish.com dating site
"In Europe giving a compliment and also bantering play is acceptable even encouraged by the women whereas in the USA to do so is to open doors which should not be opened. Most of the time people in the USA do not know how to accept a compliment perhaps because compliments are so few and far behind.”
Another post at Plenty of fish.com confirming this approachability issue
“Here - a hello will get you a cold chill, indifference, ignored, or a guarded prefunctory and cursory greeting back with no feed back to larger conversation. No kitsche trite pick up lines - just a simple 'Hello' It goes nowhere in this culture”
Below is a sample U tube video of other men talking about how American woman tend to be unfriendly and unapproachable:
1) “It's hard to meet women when they are unapproachable and give off that vibe that says " don't approach me unless I already know you!"
2) “Since I came here WOW my dating life has dramatically decreased to the point that the confidence that I had at the beginning was shattered. It is almost unbelievable how unapproachable women are here. When you approach a girl here she feels like you are going to rape her. Even if she finds you cute, she feels like you should be the one to go to her because she is so perfect and even if you do that; she plays mind game with you. You call her, she is either very busy ( on weekends ) or she does not answer. I have never experienced this before, and frankly I never thought that a country such USA could be like this”.
3) “foreign women are the best, you just have to meet them in THEIR country. they are so so different friendly, social, open. they can change super fast and become unapproachable because of the american environment. Woman aren't bitchy everywhere, just typically in usa .”
In my experience with traveling and dating abroad, it was so uplifting to see how much sweeter and kinder foreign women behaved towards me in bars and singles scenes. For the first time, I saw how women were truly meant to be - sweet, soft, kind, considerate, feminine, and having a very open and receptive vibe about them. The indpependent feministic attitude that says “I don’t need you” is totally non existent abroad.
Could this ease of approachability as shown in the U tube video below happen with an American woman?
In this video below, a guy is trying to get to know a girl in the car next to him by offering a coffee. She says no, so he gives her one. Then he demands to get her phone number, she says no... see what happens next, LOL Love it!
Try doing this in America. More than likely, she will be fearful of you and get scared and drive off. Our American society teaches woman to be fearful and paranoid of men. Yet this subconscious fear of men as dangerous and predatory is uncalled for. Dr Laura Schlessinger is quoted in her book (see our tresearch section for more info) as saying that our culture teaches our woman to subconsciously view men as dangerous. But Overseas, this fear of men as strangers is not existent and woman do not feel threatened by men they meet in public. Based on my own international travel experiences and those of other men who have traveled abroad, this U tube video above is a great example of how easy it is to approach foreign woman. Note her lack of fear. She doesn’t view these men as creeps like many American woman would in the exact same scenario. Note how pleasant she is to them. This is a perfect example of why there are no such thing as pick up artists in other countries. Men in other countries simply don’t need them. Men in these countries don’t need help to meet woman because the woman in other countries are so at ease when it comes to being appoached by male strangers in public.
See my own experiences with American women who freaked out when I tried to just say hello. My Real life experiences
Ref photo below: Unlike most American women, foreign girls are visibly flattered to be hit upon or approached
By Winston Wu of happier abroad
Men are creeps?
"Nowadays, modern American women have this subconscious attitude where they assume that men are creeps unless they know them or prove otherwise. It‘s very apparent in their attitude, vibe, behavior and actions, as they constantly seek to validate this attitude. When they meet a male stranger, rather try to bring out the niceness in him, they react to him as if he were a creep or psycho. Their eyes, posture, demeanor, expression, and communication style make that more than obvious. I don‘t know why that is, but perhaps it‘s due in part to the current feminazi (an internet term for militant men-hating feminists who want to dominate society with their beliefs) culture. Outside US soil though, women are rarely ever stuck up, at least not in the same way. And that‘s true even if they look like models. In other countries, they simply aren‘t infested with the men are creeps attitude. Abroad, this difference is easily noticeable, once you have something to compare US women to. The difference is as apparent as ice and fire. Quite simply, outside the US women are natural in every sense, something you‘d have to experience to know what I mean. Even in Westernized countries such as Great Britain, France, or Germany, where women are also known to be uppity and spoiled, they are still nowhere near as hateful, stuck up, unapproachable, cliquey, or anti-men as US women are. Therefore, probably girls in the US are the most stuck up in the world. American women have a strange mix of traits that are different from women in the rest of the world. In one sense, they are strong because they are independent, liberated (by their definition that is) from traditional feminine roles and qualities, and do not need a man to function or be happy. But in another way they are weak because they are uncomfortable talking to strangers, have a paranoid mentality, and get "creeped out" way too easily, sometimes over trivial things. And they are insecure about traveling alone or going alone to a movie, restaurant, or party. European and Russian women don't share such weaknesses, for example."
Weird paranoid fantasies about stalkers?
"The drama queens of the US seem to love to create and perpetuate this myth of the stalker man, which feeds into the paranoia of the country, and interestingly enough, doesn‘t exist in other countries. Perhaps these drama queens ought to look at themselves in the mirror. Not to say that stalkers don't exist. They do, but more than 90 percent of the time the term is used loosely by American women, it's a mere urban legend fantasy on their part, fed by their histrionic need for attention and drama. These women never bother to ask themselves that if the problem is not with them, then how come this paranoid stalker fantasy isn't an issue in other countries the way it is here, making them the minority not the majority? "
American women are also overly paranoid, exaggerating the danger from every male around them
"They aren‘t just that way because I‘m not their type either. It‘s in their highly defensive posture, demeanor, facial expression, vibe and aura. Just go to a large public place where they love to hang out at, and you will see what I mean. Try to say hi to any of the gals there, and most of them will ignore you and not even acknowledge your existence. Others will give you a mean bitchy look. Some may say hi or smile back half-heartedly, but as soon as you try to make conversation with them, they start pulling away. Try going to the mall food court and observing the atmosphere. You will notice that everyone is in a closed shell, no interaction with strangers, and those that came together are having a quiet and bland conversation, with little to smile about. It‘s a very cold, stiff, rigid and atmosphere. Not free-spirited at all. And if you happen to find a girl sitting by herself, she will not want any company. Try asking her, and she will tell you that she prefers to be alone. What kind of person likes to eat alone?! How boring. But such is the reclusiveness of modern American women. It‘s a nightmarish situation for single men all around.
In other countries, it‘s nothing like that at all! Since America‘s population constitutes only 5 percent of the world population (something most Americans don‘t even know), that means that 95 percent of the female population of the world isn‘t like that. This means that fortunately, this anti-social defensive trait of American women is unique, unnatural, and NOT the norm.
In most of the world, it does NOT feel awkward and inappropriate, as if you are violating some type of boundary, when you approach a girl you don‘t know that you want to meet. In the rest of the world, girls may be shy and reserved sometimes, but there is never this anti-stranger, overly proper and distant communication style toward strangers. Even British women, who also tend to behave too properly, are more warm, pleasant, and sociable in comparison. This makes the modern American social environment totally stagnated, boring, cliquish, and unnatural. No wonder so many guys become sickos, perverts, psychos, insane, and starved for attention. The situation they are in is totally depriving and revolting.
US women are overwhelmingly anti-men, anti-approachable, anti-social, stuck up, reclusive, and seem to be instilled with the notion that all men they don‘t know are creeps. When greeted, a paranoid look surfaces on them as they put up a defensive force field. To them, the only acceptable reason to be approached by men is if they need the time or directions. It‘s very weird and unusual, for women in the rest of the world aren‘t like that. Unfortunately, that‘s what our country has become. Only in America could you be in a room or area full of attractive women, such a nightclub, but they turn out to be all anti-social and unapproachable against meeting new people. This would be virtually impossible in any other country. Of course, some may argue to me that the problem must be me because they and others they know have no problem meeting or dating women in America. Well to them, I can use the same rationale, that the problem must be America since I don't this problem in the other 200 countries of the world. So there you go. Plus, those people may have different standards (e.g. one woman to date a year is plenty to them) or they have a wide circle of friends in their clique, or they may be BSing out of pride".
I am personally sick and tired of this " all men are creepy" attitude of american women. If i find them physically attractive i am a weirdo and creepy. if i ask them what their name is then i must i have some motive to hurt them. which is untrue.
I was taking out my garbage and a young women around 18 or so -- was walking down my street. she saw me--immediately looked away-of course no eye contact-smile-etc---and acted like she was walking past a predator. That's exactly what I hate. we men are automatically deemed predators no matter how great we are--unless perhaps we look like models. It must be what a young black guy feels in an elevator of older white people. It wasn't like this years ago--our culture is rotten to the core--another mass killing yesterday--this confirms I'm doing what's best for me by moving abroad. This really is b.s. (PS -Someone who responded to this post above added this comment ..... "A sign of a dead culture. It's said the eyes are the windows to the soul, so it's good they spare us having to look into their eyes when they avoid looking at us.")
i currently live in west L.A. Brentwood city. very rich spot next to beverly hills and so forth. super rich here. and guess what...
if you show any interest in a woman here including if you find her physically attracitve. she will think potential stalker who want sex. as if sex is really bad.
so they run as fast as they can because they are so so scared of men that are sexually interested in them. again going back to the creepy mentality they have.
Men are creepy if he asks the new lady where she lives. "oh no, he is planning on finding me at my home so he can hurt me."
If a man is behind a woman to long on the same side of the street and he looked at her in anyway. he is instantly a stalker.
This is how women think in america. I feel sorry for foreign women that live here in the states to long. They obtain the same mentality and begin to think the same way about any man. quite sad !!!.
Again, i am very tired of this image forced upon me as a potential attacker or rapist.
and it's my job to prove to her that i am not dangerous. fuck that shit !!!.
I am now working really really hard to go and live where things are very peaceful and normal. this creepy mentality is NOT natural. I want peace in my life and a normal environment where it is okay for me to be a man and pursue, chase, and flirt.
That's the culture in the USA, no one trusts one another anymore like they did in the 50's.
Quotes from an internet forum
"Remember that both men and women are largely products of their immediate environment and surroundings, just like any other animal. The reason women in foreign countries tend to be more "down to Earth" is because they have lived in and experienced poverty, disease, famine, war, loss, etc ... they have known what it is to STRUGGLE, they have seen the world for the dog-eat-dog place that it is. They end up developing more positive personality traits over time as a result of being "refined" by their up-bringing, culture, and parents. Speaking of parents, most foreign women grew up under the stabilizing influence of their father ... the same can't be said about most Western women. Religion is also still pretty relevant in most foreign countries and I believe that is a big factor that contributes to their more positive/pleasant demeanor."
"On the other hand, Western women are probably the most pampered, privileged, entitled, and spoiled group to have ever walked the face of the Earth! The media, corporations, special interest groups work in tandum to promote, inflate, and perpetuate the typical Western woman's ego and delusional fantasies. Western women are told they are all perfect little angels that deserve the world and more, the "average men" are simply not worthy of having the "privilege" of being in their presence."
"They are spoon-fed on a Hollywood diet of propaganda, subliminal messages, and romantic chick-flick bullshit from an early age to such an extent that by the time they are 30, 35, 40 most of them are STILL clinging onto the fantasy of "I just have to hold out a little longer and Mr. Right, with his millions and millions of dollars is going to come into my life, marry/rescue me, and we will live happily ever after in a giant mansion with three wonderful kids ... love WILL find me if I just wait a little longer!" ... Yes guys, Western women really can be THAT delusional."
" And if all of this wasn't bad enough, Western women are increasingly being raised in the absence of their father, who either was ca$hed in by mommy in a divorce or was a one-night stand (a bad boy that "hit it & quit it" and was never seen again). Then there is religion/morality/values/etc ... these things are virtually non-existant in the West, with the "MTV culture" dominating the minds of the masses, and Western women are lapping it up like a sponge unhindered by any set of "rules", concrete or abstract."
"What you promote you get more of. In the Western nations, the darker side of female nature is being promoted and encouraged while whatever redeeming female characteristics that were left are slowly but surely disappearing. In foreign countries the society still keeps a tight lid on female hypergamy (or at least tries to) and encourages "good" behavior (resisting the lure of the bad boy, being a good mother, respecting her husband, etc) which benefits everyone, including the woman."
“It seems like being sincere, natural, and down to earth is synonymous with being weak to American woman. You have to have game or portray the image of the “bad boy” in order to get and keep their attention.”
" The typical filipina understands what it is like to be hungry and to do without. She knows how to adapt and to adjust. She has a perspective that is not held by western cultures. She is much less materialistic and more tolerant and more patient. She understands the value of family and community. She appreciates the small things in life and she understands people. She understands the roles that men and women should play in a marriage. She has extraordinary interpersonal skills and communicates well - even though she is usually very shy and reserved in public. And she has a high level of morality, honesty and integrity. These characteristic are all a product of her environment and her culture and they make her very attractive to most men."
“nice website. my story of leaving america. let me tell you about myself... my life in america was not too happy. i did not have a wife or gf. i did not get laid. i was depressed all the time. my life generally sucked. american women just wanted something that i didn't have. i'm attractive, but that just wasn't enough. a little shy, but it shouldn't have been that hard to find a young woman sooner. i decided something had to change. so i took a trip to south east asia at 25 and what can i say? wow! when i got there i got laid everyday with beautiful women. i did not even have to ask to get laid! that is how easy it was. in fact, i met my wife almost instantly after i moved here permanently. wow! something that seemed so impossible in america was instantaneous in thailand. what surprised me about the women was how much more feminine, younger and lovely the women here in asia are. the women actually behave like women! (not like men) they take great care of their appearance. everywhere i go i see stunningly beautiful women who smile at me! that is not an exaggeration. the difference between here and america is like night and day. america is truly an awful place for a man. i suggest you leave! today i live in thailand with a beautiful young wife and son. i think if i continued to live in america i would also have 20 years of loneliness.”
i really disliked living in the states. i don't think it was my problem not getting women. i think it is american women who are the problem. why is it so easy for me to find a mate here? it is like a night and day difference. american women wouldn't even look at me and i'm not that ugly. after many years of traveling back and forth and visiting many countries including china, indonesia, cambodia, & laos i decided to move for good. i really think i made the right move. i'm confident in that. my life is 10x happier here. i'm not depressed anymore. i'm great around women. i'm "THE MAN" here.
"Hi all, well my story is about the same as yours, but here it is anyway: for a long time I blamed myself for my lack of success with American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself to the point where I would be worthy of a decent American woman. I got myself a Ph.D., then a job at an Ivy-league school, got myself into excellent physical shape, took up lots of cool hobbies like skiing, tennis, ballroom dance... and I was still getting rejected by women who had no business being picky! I had my epiphany when I was 33 and dating an overweight, 42-year-old, divorced mother who dumped me because I didn't have a "wild side". So then I did some traveling to (among other places) Hungary, the Czech Republic, and the Philippines, and beautiful young women couldn't keep their hands off of me! Dating is like real estate- the 3 most important factors are location, location, location!"
“When I'm in a country like Thailand or the Philippines, I know that I am desirable to the women there (I get reassured of that everyday). So even if I get turned down by a woman, she probably has a good reason to say no, and she will be flattered rather than act like I'm some creep. When I'm overseas, I don't subconsciously feel like I'm doing something wrong by flirting with a woman. What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an entirely different species than western women. If I had been told 2 years ago that my love shyness/social anxiety with women could be solved simply by changing the type of women that I was pursuing, I probably wouldn't have believed it. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully understand.”
I dont want to bunch all American girls into one big lump....BUT -- the majority of them due to culture or something act really snotty and stupid - like we’re not GOOD ENOUGH for them. i swear i went 12yrs in the bay area - and rarely found a girl who even batted an eye....and quite frankly i started to lower my own standards lower and lower....and for what? The moment i traveled anywhere else - i found girls that would SINK any american girl that ignored me...now i have a wife that turns heads left and right - but she is staring right into my eyes with love. Real love!
“I was on a flight to Santa Cruz, Bolivia. I was taking a vacation of sorts, and spending some time with my cousins in Bolivia. My mother and my aunt persuaded me to do them a big favor. My Bolivian cousin Enrique had received a visa to come to the USA. Since Enrique’s English was limited, and he had never traveled outside of Bolivia before, my job was to go to Bolivia, then travel with him and make sure he got to New Jersey safely.
My mother, knowing how frustrated I was with my love life, told me that the trip was also a good way for me to meet Bolivian women. And not coincidentally, all of my male cousins in Bolivia were known for being ladies men. I would always here stories from my aunts and even my own mother, about how many ladies were fawning for the attention of my male cousins in Bolivia. One of those cousins was Enrique. My aunt was always telling me that my cousin had a lot of sexy girlfriends back in Bolivia, while pointing out that I had none here in New Jersey. Everyone in my family casted me as the black sheep; The guy that couldn’t get the ladies. My aunt and even my own mother would tell me to “go and learn from the Lady’s Man,” and now I had a chance.
After hearing all of my aunt’s stories about Enrique, I pictured him as very smooth and suave, confident and dominant—the living example of the Alpha Male I’d been reading about in the dating books. I hoped I could learn a few things from him. I also hoped he’d introduce me to some of his sexy, Bolivian female friends.
When I arrived at my cousin’s house, Enrique wasn’t there. But my female cousins, along with my uncle and my grandmother, were there to greet me. We had all gathered in the kitchen when Enrique finally walked in. “Hey cousin, long time no see!” he said, in Spanish, giving me a hug and a handshake. I was happy to see him, but I was also shocked by his appearance. Not suave, certainly no Alpha Male, Enrique’s hair was sloppy, and his clothes were worn and faded. In fact, when I first met my cousin, I actually looked a lot better than he did! I was confused. Was this the lady’s man my family had told me about? Evidently, I thought, he knows how to seduce women. If he has such great success with hot women, he must. Some guys have it, some guys don’t right?
Determined to learn from him in the six weeks I was to spend in Santa Cruz before accompanying Enrique back to New Jersey, I told him I was single and wanted to meet cute girls. I asked my famous cousin to go out on the prowl with me and be my “wingman.” Enrique agreed. We hit the malls, billiards rooms, clubs, parks, bus stops, Universities, restaurants—even the supermarkets—and we approached women everywhere we went.
And guess what? I kicked his ass New Jersey style! I completely annihilated the Bolivian Casanova! I was putting my local cousin to shame, a guy who is known in the family as a real ladies man. I was completely shocked by this. Not only was I getting great responses from the women, but I was blowing my cousin out of the water.
What I learned during that trip changed my life forever.
Every day in Bolivia, while taking a taxi or bus or just walking down the street, I found myself surrounded by beautiful slender women who took good care of themselves. What a contrast from New Jersey where so many women are overweight and have lost their physical appeal. And the ladies of Santa Cruz were kinder, too, and more feminine, possessing deeper family values then the women I dated in New Jersey. The Bolivian women are raised in a culture where they take pride in making a man feel great, while New Jersey girls are the total opposite. The women I dated in New Jersey hated cooking for a man. But all the women I dated in Bolivia loved to cook for me and also their own families! It was as if it was their duty to take care of me and make me feel special—and if they accomplished this, they felt like “real women.” They took pleasure in showing their femininity both in public and in private.
After four weeks, I had about 40 phone numbers in my pocket, all from very attractive women. Three of these attractive girls were asking to be my girlfriend. I didn’t know which one to pick! All three girls were very attractive, friendly, and very feminine. All I could think was, “Why hasn’t this every happened in New Jersey?” and “Why, back
in New Jersey, the same caliber of women would not even give me the time of day?”
Then, during my trip, something amazing happened. I was sitting in the central plaza in the middle of Santa Cruz with sexy, caramel-skinned, Brazilian Lana, who was studying at the University Gabriel Rene Moreno. We’d met in the plaza a few days earlier, and this was our third date, and now she was begging me to be her boyfriend! I was trying toexplain to her how I already made my choice. That Gabriela had won my heart. Lana was saddened by this, and I felt sorry—but what could I do? As I tried to console Lana, all of a sudden Gabriela, who was even sexier then Lana, sat down on the bench next to us. There I was, the guy who couldn’t get a date with a perfect 10 in New Jersey, with two perfect 10s on each side, Lana to my right and my new, gorgeous girlfriend Gabriela to my left.
Caught red handed, I thought both girls would take turns slapping me, then leave me there on the park bench all alone to lick my wounds. But this was Bolivia—and things just don’t work that way there. Instead of yelling at me, these two beautiful girls started to argue about me, throwing insults at each other, but leaving me unscathed.
The whole incident really turned my world upside down. Two beautiful young Latin women arguing over me, “Mr.New Jersey Loser.” What did this say about what the dating experts teach? How was it that this timid, mediocre, skinny guy was getting hot girls to fight over him? And with none of the attributes that the experts say you need: I wasn’t confident or cocky or witty. I didn’t “move the crowd.” And I was certainly no Alpha Male! But in Bolivia, I was ripping the experts’ advice to pieces. I was defying the laws of gravity—just by being myself! My shortcomings. didn’t matter here. Santa Cruz was an entirely different planet peopled with young, friendly, likeable, attractive women, all of whom seemed eager to meet me!
After Shirlena and I said our goodbyes, I got my last taste of Bolivian hospitality. I was preparing to board the plane taking me home to the United States, when one of the ticket agents asked if I had a girlfriend. “Why do you ask?” I said. “Well, if you stay in Santa Cruz, I have many single girlfriends who would be interested in a guy like you,” she replied.
I boarded the plane, buckled up, and relaxed, thinking about my wonderful time with the beautiful women I had met in Santa Cruz. At first my ego led me to believe that my dating results had improved because I had improved my technique with the ladies. I thought that somehow, I had improved by reading all of those dating and seduction
books, and that I would land in New Jersey with my new great powers. But once that airplane landed in New Jersey, I realized that I hadn’t improved—at least not in the eyes of North American women. In New Jersey, the girls still paid me no attention.
In the weeks after we landed in New Jersey, my cousin was very excited and happy. His American dream had just begun. He worked hard. His plan was to save enough capital so he could return to Bolivia in a few years, where he would build a small hostel and live a decent life. But he didn’t want to leave the U.S. until he’d dated a nice
American girl, particularly one who looked like Britney Spears! I wished him the best of luck—and went along with him for the ride. Together, Enrique and I approached—and were shot down by—so many Jersey-raised women that I lost count. All of these failed attempts confirmed my theory that my great success in Bolivia was due solely to the change in my geographic location, not to a change in my style or sophistication.
Even while we were striking out, I kept telling my cousin, “It’s not your fault or my fault. It’s just the way it is here. And the truth is that Santa Cruz is a paradise for men, period. That’s why you, or any of my other cousins never had a problem finding a nice girlfriend all these years.”
“No, it’s not that,” Enrique insisted. “I have the magic touch for American women. I’ve seen American movies; I will show you how it’s done.” While I knew that he couldn’t repeat what I did in Santa Cruz back home in New Jersey, my cousin’s big, macho ego got the best of him. He thought he could do what I hadn’t been able to do for twenty-five years, so I took him all over the Tri-State area. We went to malls, restaurants, clubs, bars, all over New Jersey and New York City.
After one year in the United States, going out every weekend, my cousin was completely devastated by the women he met here. His macho guy ego took such a terrible thrashing in North New Jersey, that he was not even a shell of his former Bolivian self. It was like watching a Pit Bull transformed into a Chihuahua.
Out of more than one hundred daytime attempts (not including clubs and bars), he only got three phone numbers. To top it off, the girls that gave him their numbers were all overweight. In Santa Cruz, my cousin would never approach a chubby girl, but after a year of not having a female companion and being rejected so many times, Enrique lowered his standards.
I started to realize that many men, including many of my personal friends had lowered their standards in this same manner. Because of this harsh dating situation the men settle for whatever they can get and the chubby women find themselves being validated by these men who have grown tired of chasing the attractive women so they settle for less attractive ones. (This is so TRUE about most men in America. They just settle!)
I was being rejected right along with my cousin, but I was used to this, because I had lived in the Garden State my whole life. But Enrique, who grew up in a paradise for men, could not adjust to his harsh new reality: New Jersey is a paradise for women, not men! It didn’t take long before he confessed that he wanted to return to his country. Although the money in the U.S. was good, he just couldn’t find an attractive female companion, and it was taking a toll on his attitude.
Ultimately, Enrique stayed three years, leaving for Bolivia with money in his pocket, but with his ego greatly wounded. He never returned to North America, and to this day he still shivers when I bring up his experiences with American women.
What Enrique and I learned from dating in each other’s country boils down to this: Environment is more important than seduction, looks, sophistication, education, Alpha Male traits, “game,” charm, charisma, body language, pick-up lines, cockiness, or wealth. It’s great environments, not great men, that create great women and great results!
The reason I was having so much success with the ladies is because I was from the US. Even though I'm just a regular guy from New Jersey, with regular looks and a very regular bank account, these gorgeous Latina babes found me far more attractive than all the average local guys.Each one of the girls on my list would have been a 9 or a 10 in New Jersey, but here they're practically average.
So what was the secret? Well, I wish I could take credit for it, but the truth is I'm the exact same guy I always was. The difference is where I was in the third world, like in Latin America, Eastern Europe or South East Asia, the women haven't bought into all the materialism, careerism and feminism that so many women in the US and UK have bought into. So, they are not only content being a real woman, it's what they want most in life! They want to take care of their man, to make him happy and keep him happy! And it's important that they stay in the best shape possible and take care of themselves so they have the best shot at getting a man.
Not only are the women different, but for the first time in my life, the numbers are working for me instead of against me. Let me give you an example: In Latin America, a lot of the men die young due to war, violence or a tough life of hard labor. Also, many young men in their prime, leave for greener economic pastures to countries like the United States, Canada, and Australia, leaving behind millions of luckless ladies to battle fiercely over the men who stay behind. And in russia Forty million Soviet men died in the three cataclysmic events of the Soviet era (i.e. the political purges and World War II) creating a severe shortage if men for two generations of women. The result is that there are more available women than men and it also means the women are very needy.
Secondly, my very average salary and very average education in the US actually put me in the top 1% of all men in Latin America, Eastern Europe or South East Asia, so they see me like women in the US or UK might see Sean Connery or Tom Brady.
These factors - the greater ratio of women to men, a traditional culture where the women want to love and respect their men and take care of them, and my first-world income and education - mean that suddenly the girls are fighting for a chance to date average guys like me! All the while, American women back home wouldn't even give me a second look! You can be below average in looks, shy and poor and these extraordinary women will be fighting one another to be at the front of the line.
Older ladies from Santa Cruz, Bolivia will also try to steal you away from the younger women. Many, are thin and take care of their looks. Unlike in many Western countries, women in this city stay thin for a long time. Nonetheless, many are still single and may never find a husband in Bolivia, where single men with economic stability are scarce. Whenever a foreign man enters Santa Cruz, a new catfight begins! I should know, they tangled over Mr. Average Joe, yes, me!
This experience in Bolivia and the many subsequent trips I've made to Latin America, Eastern Europe and South East Asia, have validated my experience and conclusions"
My perpetual ecstasy in the Philippines!
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
Here is a raving update I wrote to my mailing list in October 2006 about my ecstasy in the Philippines:
Dear all, Here in the Philippines, my dating life has been a TRILLION TIMES better than it was anywhere! Even better than it was in Europe or Russia. It‘s like a totally difference UNIVERSE here! Over 90 percent of the girls here are skinny and attractive, and so approachable. I feel so popular with them. My dating lifefe, and choices here are BEYOND IMAGINATION and have exceeded even my expectations! It‘s incredible and surreal beyond belief! I‘m actually considered and treated as HOT STUFF here, and seen as hip and cool too! It‘s an amazing feeling and daily experience that words can‘t even describe. The people here, the enthusiasm from crowds and groups of girls all around me, all bring out the BEST in me!!!!!!!! Everyday, every moment, often I am thinking in the back of my mind, If only the folks back home could see what I‘m experiencing here, they‘d be amazed, dumbfounded and converted for sure!!!!!!! Nowhere on earth have I seen so many hot girls 24/7 on the streets here, who mirror back all my flirtations, kisses, seductions, etc. They are so wild! I thought that such was only possible in dreams, but here it happens anytime, 24/7!!!!!!!! All my needs and desires are fulfilled here, to the point where I hardly even use the internet anymore, since the need for escapism through the internet due to lack of social life no longer exists here. The girls here have this way of making you feel like a million bucks, and appreciated like a real man, that is hard to explain, but something you have to experience to understand. It‘s something that is of course, nonexistent back in the states. To me, I would say that for a man, you haven‘t really lived until you‘ve experienced the attitude and vibe of the females here toward you. Every newcomer here is stunned, thinking where have I been? Why didn‘t I come here before?! I toured a couple of visitors and guests around and enjoyed seeing their reactions to it all, as if they‘ve become enlightened to how it all should be! Wow. The experiences here are so fulfilling, every moment, that they‘ve practically ERASED the all the years of negative baggage I had from the states of feeling like a perpetual misfit, lack of social life/popularity, and the daily nightmare of trying to get a date! It‘s like all those years and decades of that have been wiped clean from my memory, emotions, and psyche! An ABSOLUTE MIRACLE!!!!!!! Man, I just don‘t know how else to describe it. But I‘m doing my best. I‘d say that the difference between the health, quality, and excitement of my social/love life here and in the states, is not just multiple times bigger, but ASTRONOMICAL in comparison! In fact, the difference is as great as the difference between the size of the Earth and the size of the Sun! A difference bigger than you can imagine! Sure there are a lot of quirks, oddities, and inconveniences here that annoy me a lot, but all of the above more than makes up for it. Another thing I can‘t believe, which I‘ve hear all the time, is that my facial features, which are considered nerdy and unattractive in American culture, are actually considered attractive in Filipino culture! For example, countless times on a regular basis, I‘ve gotten compliments on my slanty eyes, which I never thought were attractive in any culture (since kids used to make fun of them back in school, using racial slurs and innuendo). But here, they are different from the norm, since Filipino eyes are big and round (which are considered more attractive in Western culture, and to my taste too) and somehow, most Filipinas like them and compliment them. Some have even gone crazy over my eyes and say they are obsessed with and in love with them, especially when I gaze at them! Amazing. I also get a lot of compliments on my lips, which I always thought made my mouth too small and feminine. Man I am just so appreciated here in ways that I never thought possible!!!!!!!
Even if you‘re a guy (White or Asian) who generally isn‘t into Asian women, if you come here and let me show you around, and experience what I have, you will ACQUIRE a taste for Filipinas!
I gotta tell you though, when you can go out and get hot girls, dates and action ANYTIME you want, and you have hot cuties gunning for you daily, it‘s an INCREDIBLE FEELING. Nothing beats it! It feels as though you‘ve transcended the barriers and physical laws of the universe! And it makes any sacrifices you make to be here definitely WORTH IT. Here in the Philippines, I experience TRUE FREEDOM – freedom from datelessness and desperation, and freedom to have sex with a hot woman ANY time I want! That is something that America never provided me, giving me only stupid excuses instead. As expats in Thailand say, "Americans talk about it but don't do it, Thais do it but don't talk about it." Anyone who saw my life here and my life in America would think that I was in two different universes. I‘m serious. And anybody who witnessed the difference in person would never blame me for saying all these things either. That I can GUARANTEE. I have literally thousands of photos now, from Russia, Europe, and Asia to prove it all – how different my social/love life really is here vs. back in America.
Everyday I wonder Why didn‘t I come here sooner?!For every moment here is one of sheer ecstasy and bliss, like a perpetual everlasting orgasm
PS - Here are some eloquent and insightful quotes that were sent periodically to my cell phone by my Expat Advisor who is an expert on Filipino culture and speaks ten languages including two Filipino dialects (abbreviations spelled out):
"The Philippine society puts primary emphasis on family, human relations and the development thereof- which includes sex, friendship, love, etc. Socially, it seems to be one of the most advanced societies on earth. Of course, these developments are not mentioned in the western press which only measures progress in political, technological and financial areas. If it started measuring societies by the healthfulness of social life, the place you are at would win hands down. Cheerz." " The Philippines is opposite of the US. Its social system is based on love, romance, family and friendship. In that respect, they have one of the most socially advanced societies on Earth. Many people have called it the best place in the world. But they are not advanced in practicalities and have not developed an organization/logic in practical things. But you can train them in that. On the other hand, it is very hard to train people in the US in the art of being friendly, respectful and loving. The US is a place where assholism in human relationships rules supreme and selfishness is not even contested. So, that brings us again to the realization that one never, ever can have it all in one country- it seems that the world is simply not designed that way and that every country is inherently and grossly incomplete."
How a Filipina transformed this man's life and self-worth
A real life testimonial from happierabroad.com
"Admittedly, I am not a big fan of everything that Winston Wu says and does, but I do believe there is a lot of truth in his ideas. My story is similar to his. I grew up being told that I was a freak, a weirdo, a homosexual, and a moron. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong - I was smart, caring, insightful, hardworking, ambitious, and prosocial. I couldn't understand why some people believed in all the drama that came from living an antisocial life.
I was punched, pushed into urinals, and worse. I became convinced there was something wrong with me...I even seriously considered suicide when I was in grade 11. That was in 1999, when the Columbine School Shootings happened, and I identified with Eric Harris and Dylon Klebolt. It wasn't until high school was done and that I got into the real world that I realized that really, there isn't anything wrong with me. In fact, some people looked up to me. More importantly, I discovered Filipinas. Well, Filipinas discovered me. What a change it was being told that I was hunk. After years of being humiliated in school, I finally found myself being adored by Filipinas !!! Not just loved - lusted after. I could be sweet, and would get love back. Gone were the days of being punched for being a prosocial person.
My unhappiness became a distant memory...now I am loved, cared for, listened to.....Filipina girls respect my character. They respect the fact that I am not just lusting and gambling my life away. I got Filipina girls telling me I am so handsome. In fact, my Filipina girlfriend's friends all send her messags telling her that she is so lucky to have me, and one even asked whether it would be possible to marry my dad (she assumed my dad must be similar to me). More than anything, I feel vindicated. I know that really, it isn't me. I am normal; it was the people around me who were mentally ill. One could write an essay over one hundred pages long about the benefits of having a Filipina girlfriend. Most men appeciate the care, the devotion to family, as well as general sexiness of Filipinas as the main reasons for choosing one. Also, many of them have been severely hurt from a previous relationship with a Westernized lady, and are determined to find someone who will never hurt them again. For me, the best thing about having a Filipina girlfriend is that I am able to show love, care, and affection and be accepted and loved in return.
Growing up, I was constantly told that I need to "man up" and "be more aggressive." In Western culture, men are taught to get what they want by fighting for it. You need to stomp on someone else's head so they won't stomp on your head. I was told that I was not aggressive enough, and that I needed to be a jerk to women. Men told me that I needed to treat my girlfriend like she was a dog and make her beg for a treat. I needed to be the prize. For a while I actually (regretably) believed that crap. But I quickly realized the nonsense for what it was. My heart changed, and then I met Mahal. I know I can be sweet and caring, and not have to worry about her treating me like a doormat.
Westernized women often think that being nice means being weak. In Filipina culture, being nice is returned with kindness, and perhaps a bit of sex too. When I am with Mahal, I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to walk around all "macho" (whatever that is supposed to mean). I can share my weaknesses, and we can laugh at each other in a supporting way. I have finally realized that it really isn't me that is wrong; for so long I had been with mentally ill people who viewed prosocial people as a weakness. You can't blame a Palm Tree for not growing in Alaska. For the first time in my life, I have felt unconditional love and acceptance being with Mahal. To be with someone who values me so much brings out the best in me. I want to be the best lover, the best husband, the best father, and the best servant in her church. I don't have to fear that my efforts will be replied with insult. I can serve her, cuddle her, listen to her, and support her, and not fear rejection. She is the best lady, so I want to be the best lover I possibly can be for her. I wish all men still looking for their Filipina love lots of good luck !!!!"
A success trip report from Brazil!
"I’m down here in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. This is my first trip outside of North America and I must say that I am extremely happy with the results I’m getting here.
After years of social isolation and sexual frustration in America (Chicago), I have found a place where I can relax, be myself, and women are attracted to me. I just don't VIBE with most American women, whereas here in Rio things are more free-flowing for me. I'm affectionate by nature and the women are more receptive because affection is the culture down here.
As I stated before in a previous post, in America Black men are considered the bottom of the social totem pole and the last dating option among non-Black women, but here in Rio, American Black men are at the top (or close to it). Sure, I’m fully aware that there are some women down here that look at American men and see money, but that’s certainly not the case for all.
Here are some of the main differences I notice between Brazilian women and American women…
1.) Brazilian women don’t have the hangups about sex that many American women do. Brazilian women see sex as just part of their lifestyle and their humanity, whereas American women see sex as something that they do IN EXCHANGE for something. Brazilian women just want to get a nut, American women see sex as something that they GIVE and a man TAKES.
2.) Brazilian women are more feminine. You rarely see or encounter any butch bitches down here.
3.) Brazilian women are more affectionate. Tongue kissing upon the first few minutes of meeting you is no big deal if she likes you.
4.) Brazilian women don't have as much ATTITUDE and are more approachable.
5.) Brazilian women take better care of their bodies. You don’t see too many fat girls down here.
6.) Their feminine hygiene is exquisite, as opposed to the number of stinky American women I’ve encountered. I’ve yet to encounter a smelly girl in Rio.
7.) Brazilian women don’t play nearly as many head games. If a woman likes you, she’ll have no problem expressing it, whereas your typical American woman will hold back her interest for fear of being perceived as needy or slutty.
8.) Brazilian women treat you better. Now, some may say "oh, they just want a green card." No. Many of them don't want to leave Brazil and Rio in particular. I don't blame them. Why would they leave this magical place to enter a workaholic, racist society that is the United States?
I can’t count how many times women down here have called me "lindo" (beautiful) and some of the looks I receive in the streets from various women. What a turnaround!
I’m grateful that I had the courage to STEP OUT of the energetic prison called America and see a totally different perspective on women and LIFE. Many Brazilians are poor, but they know how to LIVE LIFE!
This place is magical. I’m going to make a few more trips down here, and if I continue to have good experiences, I will have a MAJOR decision to make on whether or not I should continue to call America my home. I’m saddened at the prospect of coming back home to America. "
In regards to the Obesity problem - I do have sympathy and understand that for many people, being overweight can’t always be helped, and it affects both men and women equally. Im not placing judgment on anyone with a weight issue. It is what it is. Statistics show that 70% of Americans are overweight. And by the time woman hit their 30’s, that figure is even higher! Most guys I know (probably about 99% of men) are not attracted to overweight woman. So what we have is a situation where 100% of the men are chasing after the top 25% of woman (the 25% who are not overweight). This is why the thin attractive ladies know they are in demand and hence they can afford to be very finicky and choosy and develop spoiled attitudes. They often develop what is commonly known as the “bitch shield.” In a way, perhaps you can’t really blame them. It’s a natural response as a direct result of constantly being approached all the time. To successfully overcome this impentrable shield, men have to learn to have “game,” or stand out in some way in order to catch the attention of these very few attractive women. Of course there will always be some men that can overcome all the handicaps and date many attractive women, but not everyone can be a Michael Jordan or Brad Pitt.
One of Happier Abroad’s fan mails really differentiated this difference between America vs overseas. This gentlemen’s statement went as follows:
“When you say a girl in America is hot, what you really mean is she is not fat. When you say a girl is hot in much of the world, she needs much more than just not being fat given that most of the population of woman are thin to begin with”
Compare this to the typical response from men when they go abroad:
“Once my plane landed in Santa Cruz, like so many men who travel to South America, I was completely blown away by the sheer number of attractive women I saw on the streets”.
Below are quotes I came across at another excellent website on this topic. These statements may be politically incorrect but it's absolutely true and matches my own personal experiences abroad (Source - http://www.westernwomensuck.com/category/beautiful-ukrainian-women-2/)
"During my first visit to Russia in 2002 I was in absolute shock as I looked around seeing so many beautiful women. I remember taking a subway in St. Petersburgh and consciously looking around at the women. I estimated that 70 to 80% of the women were gorgeous and there were at least two supermodels in every car. Every Western man I’ve talked to that has visited the east has reported the same: beautiful women everywhere. SO, what makes CIS (former USSR countries) women so beautiful? When I returned to the United States I looked critically at the American women and it finally occurred to me that the American women are every bit as beautiful as the women of other countries. But, you can’t see their beauty because it is usually buried under 15 to 50 pounds of fat. By the time most American women pass their teens they start packing on McDonald’s burger pounds at an alarming rate."
"Sure, there are fat women here (in Russia), but they are the minority. And some women dress frumpy, but they are the minority as well. MOST of the women here dress in high heels, tight skirts or jeans and dress up like WOMEN. They don’t wear man clothes, they don’t look like they just crawled out of bed – they look like women and it is very refreshing"
"What makes the CIS women so beautiful is their attention to femininity (wearing a dress versus a pair of sweat pants), lack of fat (the average Ukrainian woman walks 1 to 2 miles each day – and in high heels!) and the lack of a feminist “chip on their shoulder."
Foreign woman ALWAYS make an effort to look and dress their best when out in public. The dress style of European and Russian women is much more stylish, attractive, classy, and feminine than in America, where women dress much more plainly in comparison (since after all, even average plain women in the US have their pick of the bunch, thus they have no need to look top-notch). Foreign women are much better at maximizing their appearance with clothes/cosmetics and unlike American women, they love wearing skirts and high heels, which are much more attractive to men. As with the weight difference, this is so apparent everywhere you go in these regions that even the biggest idiot in the world couldn’t help but notice it. In fact, I and other Americans I’ve met would say that in Russia (and often times in Latin America and Asia too), about 80 percent of girls are considered “hot” by American standards, while in the USA, that proportion is, well, much lower so that any decent looking girl there is treated like a goddess and put on a pedestal. What is considered “hot” by American standards is average in Russia. If you don’t believe it, come spend time in the crowded cities of Moscow and St. Petersburg, and you’ll see exactly what we mean.
“Why do these girls get so dressed up for the airport?” That’s what the two American girls behind me were saying about the Latin women who were also waiting on the check in line for our flight to miami. There was a stark difference between the two. The American girls looked like they just hopped out of bed. They both had baggy sweats and baggy sweaters on. Their hair was a mess and they honestly couldn’t care less. It was a 6:40 am flight and I can understand that maybe they didn’t bother because the flight was so early, but from their attitude I wouldn’t be surprised if they would show up like that for a 4:00 PM flight. Even though it was an early flight, the Latin women on the line found the time to “dress up”. An “Americanized” Latin girl may step out in public in her sweats and baggy shirt, with her hair all over the place, but a real Latin woman wouldn’t dream of leaving her house if she doesn’t fix helself up a bit. It’s part of the Latin culture. In Latin America there is much more competition among females. American women “slack off” because they ca afford to. But foreign women never let their guard down in this aspect. These foreign women would look gorgeous if they made no effort at all. But they dress up even when they go to the dry cleaners – in body hugging T-shirts, low-slung jeans, short skirts and strappy heels. Having a less-than-perfect figure doesn’t stop a Latina. She simply knows what to do.”
"In the US, too many women have terrible fashion sense. It is not at all uncommon to see women walk around in public like slobs with sweatpants and no makeup. I mean come on girls, is the airport really the right place for your stupid slumber party?
Look presentable always - Madame Chic wouldn't even go to the corner store to get a baguette without applying lipstick and tying a scarf around her neck, Scott recalled. Looking presentable was a way of honoring the people she came in contact with everyday. "This isn't to be confused with being high maintenance," Scott said."She wouldn't spend an hour in the bathroom flat-ironing her hair and applying meticulous makeup. She had a very quick (routine): 'Le no makeup look' and a very easy hairstyle to follow. Her 10-item wardrobe allowed her to pick something really easily. She wouldn't agonize over what clothes to wear every day like so many of us do."Scott also noticed the family would routinely wear their best clothes for everyday occasions, a lesson she took to heart.
"I loved living in Paris. Each day as I dressed to go out was like dressing for the theater: street theater. Because in Paris you are always on stage. More than any city in the U.S. one is always out. Most people don't drive; they walk or take the Metro. They stroll, they sit in cafes. They meander. And so, they are not hopping in and out of cars and they are not dressed in sweatpants or pajama bottoms and sloppy tee shirts and flip flops. They are dressed for the day.
American women, as Callan points out, need to try all this at home, too. One of the most important is dressing decently every day. I have never understood how women can go out shopping for clothes while dressed in sweat pants with their hair a mess and wearing no make-up. What exactly are they buying those clothes for? Which "special occasion?" That is sort of like the living room couch your grandmother kept covered in plastic until the day she died. Wear your clothes! That is what you bought them for. There's a reason French women have a reputation for being sexy and desirable. A lot can be learned from them"
“Shahina, a listener, wrote about her sad story of divorce after ten years of marriage. Her husband left her, complaining that they had so little time together (because she was over involved with her mommy and daddy) and he no longer found her attractive. It seems she had gained a tremendous amount of weight by eating too much and exercising too little. I can bet that the reaction of most woman upon reading that is to get their hackles up and proclaim her husband as shallow. Frankly, that hostile reaction itself demonstrates a shallow self centeredness. The impact on our bodies of natural aging, , illness, pregnancies, and so forth is a simple fact of life. The inability to accept these realities betrays immaturity or worse. At the same time, though, the unwillingness to accept responsibility for the upkeep of one's physical or emotional well-being should be met with consternation by a spouse because it is an assault on the marital covenant. And the disregard of the unique feelings and needs of one's spouse is a selfish insult.
"I would try to tell him that I would go on a diet and exercise to lose weight and become more attractive. I thought I would do these things for him so that he would find me attractive. I knew deep down that I did not want to do those things because I wanted him to love me and accept me just the way I was."
This is not an unusual sentiment for me to hear from woman, who express hostility that their husbands would like them to clean up, dress up, and tone up. They act like their husbands are selfish, sex crazed, superficial, insensitive barbarians, which isn't the case. The "if they loved me, they wouldn't make a fuss about such things" point of view is simply irresponsible and destructive. As I said in my chapter on communication, verbal exchange is but one means of communication. A lot is said by one spouse to another by the willingness to fulfill each other's needs. Men have the emotional need to see their wives as desiring them, and the way the wives take care of and present themselves expresses that love.” (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 123-126)
After marriage, and definitley after having children, too many wives contract the “Frump syndrome,” the symptoms of which include wearing flanel pajamas an socks, or sweat-pants with oversized T –shirts, to bed instead of some girly thing with lace;not shaving legs or grooming nails;not washing, styling, or even combing hair;taking off (instead of fresheningup) makeup from the day just before your husband comes home; usingthe toilet with him in the room; not making an attempt to smell sweet 9with a little prefume or body oil); and never putting on sexy outfits… in front of your husband. When woman call into my radio program to say that they are unhappy in their marriages, but nothing particularly is actually wrong, I ask themif they have contracted this ailment. Almost universally the answer is yes. When I suggest the obvious cure, I am confronted with some angry, annoyed, resentful, defensive woman! It’s worrisome when women embrace the notion that once they are married, they are entitled to be loved, adored, protected, gifted, romanced, obeyed, and provided for without any effort on their part to create the emotional and psychological environment that would more likely get them all those desires. Sam, a female listener wrote “women expect to be wooed yet be allowed to l ook haggish and frumpy. It’s hard to romance a hag and come off as being sincere”. What attracts men to women is their femininity, and femininity isnt only about appearance, it’s also about behaviours. Looking womanly and behaving sweetly and flirtatiously are gifts to their husbands. This gift communicates that the husband is seen as a man, not just a fix-it guy, the bread-winner, or the sperm donor. (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 120-121)
One gentlemen made an intersting comment on this topic:
“No where else in the world will you find overweight chicks wearing sweat pants and tennis shoes who nevertheless think they are entitled to a good looking guy with a high paying job who will do everything she says. ”
“They continually work on their looks. They dress well and tend to stay fit. This is especially true for both men and women in Asia and Eastern Europe. They may only have a few outfits, but they will always look the best they can.”
“The advantage you will have with International Dating is that nearly all of your prospective dates would be 8’s to 10’s by American beauty standards.”
Article - What’s wrong with American women?
"Instead, our culture has things backward; many unmarried girls and women flaunt their bodies with a total lack of modesty or propriety. Once they marry, it's flannel nightgowns, wool socks, and no makeup." (by Christian author Sue Bohlin) Note how this Christian author specifically used the words "our culture" as a recognition that women of other cultures do not behave like this?? American women are NOTORIOUS for dressing down like this once they have their man. It's a form of "letting oneself go". And as Dr Laura says in her quote above, doing this too much is an affront to their marriage covenant. Foreign women are just the opposite though. Even after marriage, foreign women still pay attention to how they present themselves, especially for their husbands, whether in or outside of the home. In other words, looking good and paying attention to one's looks shouldn't come to a screeching halt after marriage.
The dress code of European, Latin, and Russian women is much more sexy, stylish, and feminine (i.e. body hugging T-shirts, low-slung jeans, strappy heels, tight leg hugging boots, skirts, feminine head bands, stylish scarves and other very feminine attire). You very rarely see this kind of attention to appearance with American women unless it's a special occasion such as a date with a man, or a special event of some kind. Well, even then, they rarely dress like these women as shown below.
TYPICAL DRESS STYLE IN EASTERN EUROPE AND RUSSIA
(image source - www.wws.com)
TYPICAL DRESS STYLE IN LATIN AMERICA
Asian dress styles
What is especially common about Asian women in particular is that they commonly have flowers in hair, hair bands, hair bows, and pose with teddy bears (even as late as their 30's and 40's!!!) all of which has a certain sweetness, innocence, purity, and femininity to it. Perusing American dating sites, it is rare to come across female dating profiles that have any of these aformentioned feminine attires in their posted self portraits. (Disclaimer- I'm not saying that American women can't be sweet, nor am I saying this means something bad per se. I'm just stating simple fact).
Theres a big difference between telling someone they can be "better" and telling them they’re substandard. the later tends to be the most common approach of post modern feminist societies, the former is the approach the rest of the world uses.
I love the way Mark Davis of European connections expalins it. In the excerpt below from his E book, he describes how he addresses a common question he would get from the Russian ladies.
“WHAT’S THE STORY? YOU COULDN’T FIND A GIRL IN AMERICA?? - I was asked by the girls on several of my dates, so I decided to make a science of how to answer it – and have some fun with it.“That’s a great question,” I would say. “You have probably seen a lot of American movies, so you know that there are many beautiful American women. But I don’t enjoy dating them anymore. They tell me things like, “I make good money at my job and drive a nice car. What are you going to do for me?” I am not looking for a relationship where I have to prove anything. I just want to be a good man who loves a good woman. I only want the best and I heard that the greatest women in the world were here; so I came to find out for myself.”
Another thing I have observed is that foreign women treat men better than American women. Simply put, foreign woman are far more NURTURING. One small example is the fact that many foreign women love to cook for their man. While some American woman do this, truth be told, they are few and far between. On the other hand, most Foreign women Ive seen can cook and they don’t see these types of acts as burdens or slave like behaviours . On the contrary, they see these types of acts as privileges that brings them joy. They feel it solidifies their roles within the relationship and family as a nurturing caregiver.
Comments I found at Plenty of fish message board:
I have been dating women age group 19-33 all my life, and up to this point I have seen the following common needs: 1) Focuses mainly on her immediate interests and friends 2) Focuses on her career 3) Is really tight with her pet and spending time with the pet 4) Love to travel and often takes multiple vacations a year 5) Fiercely independent and does not want to be controlled by a man 6) Really listens to her friends and takes their advice 7) Loves to be taken out and feel special 8) Does not have the time or energy for commitment but wants to have all the benefits of relationship
In fact I feel like women want to pick and choose the best parts of being in a relationship and discount the bad ones. No one wants to put up with anything, the first sign of trouble and they already are scheduling a date with another man. Women became "serial first-daters" they are on a search for the ideal guy all their life untill they will wake up one day and realize that they wasted their whole life chasing a dream..
NOTE- This does not make these woman bad per se. Im simply pointing out the fact that generally speaking, woman in America have lost touch with their soft feminine side. Some men are fine with that and if so, that is fine. But many other men prefer more feminine relationship and marriage partners.
Fact is, …most American men have never traveled abroad so they have no sense of just how much of a difference there really is.
See our research section where Jean Twenge states “by the early 1990's men and women's scores on the scale of so called masculine traits were indistinguishable. The generational change in masculinity had turned the very definition of the scale on its head: clearly these traits were no longer masculine, but simply human" (Generation Me, pg 12)
“The modern feminist movement that has developed in the wealthy western nations robs women of their true feminine qualities by pushing women to become more like men. These modern feminist women dress like men, walk like men, and are pushed to loose their feminine qualities in exchange for more masculine qualities. Many American woman have lost touch with their instinctual, feminine sides, and are losing the feminine qualities men instinctively seek.” (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
"Look at how American men are responding to this mess: pick up artistry classes, online forums, groups, curriculum on *how to deal with American women*. It is absolute insanity. We have to completely change ourselves and our “approach” to women to have even a fair shake at getting their attention? We have to become “assholes“, who are “cocky/funny”. Much of this interaction is painfully shallow and transparent (but appears to work, in some cases)."
The existence of the pick up artist industry in America really proves our point about America being one of the worst dating environments for men in the entire world. How does it prove our point you may ask? Well, think about this. While the pick up artist industry may be thriving in the US, it’s simply unheard of in other countries. I challenge you to find another country where men pay seduction or pick up artist gurus to teach them how to meet women. You can't, cause in doesn’t exist outside the US. They’re not needed because in other countries the process of interacting with and meeting woman flows more naturally. It’s not F ed up like in the US. The "chumps" who pay for these services never never stop to ask the obvious question: "Why doesn't this industry exist in other countries too?" Think about it, why would such a natural thing like male/female courtship need to be reduced to a "technique" or "science" as though it were a difficult subject that needed to be "mastered"? The obvious answer is that there are numerous reasons for this which I discuss in other parts of this article and in our research section. Its because of the unique characteristics of the average American woman (mainly the infection of feminism) combined with the severe gender imbalances in America that gives woman in the US the upper hand. The US dating scene is simply a very hostile environment for the average single male. To ad insult to injury, most guys don’t even realize it because they’ve never known any better. They’ve never travelled and dated abroad to see how much easier woman are to meet and to see how much easier the whole dating process flows. In other countries, it's just like you see in the movies - boy meets girl, they flirt, hold hands, say "I like you" to each other, then kiss and so forth. It's completely natural and effortless.
The main problem of the PUA thing is that they tell you there is a cookie cutter formula (Mystery's Model) and that if you master it, you will be a master of picking up chicks. They fail to recognize that the problem lies with the dating environment.
One thing about the whole pick up artist industry that I despise most is that they teach you how to NOT BE YOURSELF! The presumption is that you are defective, and not deserving of a woman as you are. What a bunch of crap! Trying to be something that you're not all day eventually leads to psychological imbalance and mental dysfunction. Not a good thing. Any man who has dated overseas will tell you what we are telling you. The problem is not you, it’s your dating environment (aka :America). Its all about LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
Gentlemen, it’s great environments, not great men that create great woman and great results.
Much of my opinion about this subject matches Winston’s opinion piece on the subject matter at http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6811
Random Internet posts on this PUA subject
I would like to ask guys who think "PUA" is the greatest thing since sliced bread, how come in eastern Europe, Russia, Philippines, Thailand, South America or Mexico you don't need to use PUA techniques? You only need to use PUA in anlgo countries like the UK, US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.
Imagine trying to explain to Thai or Russian men what Pick up artist is about, LOL. The product only sells in America bc there is problem for men in the first place
I was in the philippines for a couple of months and majority of the women there aren't stuck up/bitchy/ or paranoid. Most are friendly and social. Claiming that it's "LACK OF GAME" is self deprecating, not self empowering
The most important thing in this life is to be yourself! Emulating some popular archetype is the quickest way to destroy your soul. We're not interested in sacrificing our masculinity, our dignity, and becoming soulless zombies in a desperate attempt to gain the acceptance of some toxic American woman
This article is the best I've seen that explains why the pick-up artist industry only exists in the USA and is non existent in other countries. What it basically boils down to is that women in the US do not respond to the same natural courting and dating stimuli that most women of the world respond to, and have always responded to throughout the history of man. Game and the pick up artist movement is the direct result of how difficult most American women are to approach, meet, and connect with for dating. In other countries, game is not needed and there is no pick up artist industry. This article nicely explains why that is.
"Brazil is one of my favorite countries in the world. Not surprisingly it’s also one of my favorite countries to go out, meet and seduce women.
And when you do go out, you notice something interesting. What you notice is a display of excellent, confident and aggressive game from men. Then you notice the beautiful and stunning women who love to be seduced by these confident and aggressive men. It’s an ideal mating environment designed and perfected over the years thanks to the wonders of evolution.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: Brazil is one of those rare countries where being aggressive and manly enables you to fuck beautiful women. Lots of beautiful women. Don’t try that (the aggressive part) in United States unless you have a really, really good lawyer.
Brazilian guys have great natural game. In fact, their game is so natural that they probably don’t even know that they have great, natural game; in fact, they probably have no idea what the word “game” really means.
First, let me begin by giving you a no-bullshit definition of the word “game.” Game is communication between a man and woman with the goal of fucking. That’s it. Now repeat that five times. The communication can be verbal, non-verbal, or a combination of the two. But that’s all it is — communication.
Smiling, flirting, innuendos, dirty jokes, subtle but purposeful touches, asking the girl out, trying to kiss her, all of that is communication with the goal of having sex.
On the other hand, a working/platonic relationship between a man and a woman is also communication but since the goal is not to fuck her brains out, it’s not game.
A man’s ability to seduce women is only part of the overall equation; what’s equally important is how the women react to his advances. And how the women react is driven mostly by the society they live in.
In Brazil, communication between men and women is what I call “pure.” Pure means men like women and women like men. Pure means the men are expected to pursue women by approaching and courting them. Pure means the women are choosers, eventually settling on the man whom they like. Pure means women don’t play games for the sake of playing games (high-value women do play hard to get, though, which is absolutely normal).
It’s all pure because that’s how men and women are expected to behave biologically — as animal species that live and reproduce exactly like other animal species on this planet. Just like how the sun rises – and will always rise — in the east and sets in the west, the men and women have a certain predefined mating ritual. That mating ritual is practiced in Brazil.
While not all Brazilian men are smooth seducers, pretty much all Brazilian men are men. They all approach. They all get rejected. They all get laid. On more than one occasion, on Rio de Janeiro’s beaches, I’ve seen young (teenagers) guys touch girls in ways that would be completely “inappropriate” in US. Later in the night, in the clubs, the guys would get much more aggressive. So much that going out in Brazil is called “hunting” for a reason. The guys go out to hunt, and the girls go out “be hunted.”
And do the girls mind? Hardly — they love it. They love being desired, chased, and ultimately seduced. “Game” is, well, simple in Brazil. It’s simple but there’s a catch (there’s always a catch): all that’s required is for you to be a man.
But what is a man? Is a man someone who acts aggressive with the girls? That depends on your geographical location. In the US or Canada, being an aggressive sexual male would equate you to a “border-line rapist” or a misogynist. That’s done to shame you and discourage you from such — biologically ingrained — behavior.
So, if you’re a guy who’s stuck in a man-destroying place like Washington DC, San Francisco or Toronto (the number of such places is rapidly increasing), where you can’t be aggressive with women, and where the women don’t respond to an aggressive man, then what can you do? What options do you have? The answer is to go underground with your desires: become more aloof and more indirect, but not too aloof and indirect that you become her new platonic best friend.
You must alter how you communicate with women.
A popular method is to learn female psychology in order to “figure out” what creates attraction on a primal/subconscious level. Since learning female psychology in order to get laid is not automatically done by men, men must learn a new way to communicate. They must learn a new way to “game”. Or they must simply learn game.
The Western man must learn game because he simply can’t get laid using the – natural — techniques that work in Brazil and other (non-Western/feminist) countries. Western women don’t respond to that communication. They respond to other stimuli, and for a man to be successful with these women, he must learn the right ways to trigger those stimuli (attraction triggers). Sadly, simply being born with a penis is no longer enough.
Except in Brazil. A Brazilian guy can make his sexual intentions clear right from the beginning; he can keep pursuing the girl with direct and unapologetic intentions, getting more and more aggressive each time, and eventually winning her over.
An American guy needs to fly under the radar, be more and more aloof, more and more indirect, and more and more “politically correct” in order to not trigger her “he-is-a-creep” alarm.
So let’s recap:
American guy’s options:
Brazilian guy’s options:
For Brazilian men, “game” is as simple as ordering pizza over the phone; he just needs to tell the girl what he wants.
Of course, not all Brazilian guys have great game. Not all of them are naturals. Not all of them regularly get laid. But what separates Brazilian guys from American guys, is that pretty much all Brazilian guys are men. They are men in the sense is that they will approach and make moves on women, instead of believing in some fake “equality” between the sexes.
For American men, things are much, much more complicated because they need to know the right subconscious ways to trigger attraction in a woman without making her realize that she’s in danger of being fucked by the very same guy.
That’s not easy, which is why a different way to communicate was created in the US (and other Western/feminist countries). That’s called game.
The problem is that learning to communicate with Western women isn’t the same thing as actually being a real man, the same real man who’s cherished in non-Western countries. And they’re many, many countries where simply being a man is all that’s needed to hook up with a country’s hottest women. In fact, one of those countries is a large landmass in South America called Brazil."
Now, on a different subject matter, I find it amazingly ironic to hear some people say, “Be careful, these foreign women are only after you for your money. They don't really love you”. My, my, how we Americans are so quick to judge. Americans who give this warning fail to comprehend that it's the average American woman who I fear most in this regard and whom I should be worrying about. Does that sound outlandish? Well, if so, then see expert quotes below for proof of this. Lets see what the experts have to say about who is more driven by money and materialism - American woman vs foreign woman.
For example, Social Psychologist Jean Twenge says some pretty damming quotes that clearly indicate she is saying Americans (hence American woman) are the ones who are driven and overly focused on material wealth and money, not foreigners. Jean twenge states that one of the key components of narcissism in America today is “materialism”. Keep this fact in mind when considering the expert quotes below.
In 1976, 16% of American high school seniors said that “having a lot of money” was “extremely important.” This ballooned to 26% in 2006. High school students name “getting a good paying job” as more important than being “ethical and honorable”. (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 162-163)
In 1967, 45% of college freshman said that “becoming well off financially” was important; by 2006, that number increased to 75% . The Pew Research Center asked young people, what are your generation's most important goals? Eight in Ten said getting rich, while only 4% said becoming more spiritual. (Generation Me, pg 131)
Economist Thomas Naylor taught corporate strategy courses at Duke University in the 1990’s. He commented on how he could sense an intense rise in materialism during this time. He asked each of his students to write a personal strategic plan. With few exceptions, what they wanted fell into three categories: money, power, and things - very big things, including vacation homes, expensive foreign automobiles, yachts and even airplanes… Their request to faculty was: Teach me how to be a “money making machine”. Little else mattered, reported Naylor, including concerns for one’s family, spirituality, employees, or ethics and social responsibility. (The American Paradox, pg 127)
Experts say that materialism is a key component of Narcissm
Materialism is one of the most obvious examples of America’s narcissism epedemic. (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 160)
The upswing in narcissism appears to be accelerating: the increase between 2000 and 2006 was especially steep. The changes were especially large for women (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 31)
According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women
So, let me ask again, who cares more about whether you have money? Yet it is so funny to hear people warn how foreign woman are only after your money when in light of the expert quotes above, it seems that it’s actually the American women who care more about money , not the foreign women.
Monetary issues seldom come up with women from other countries. Securing a particular lifestyle, usually an improvement over what their parents enjoyed is #1 on 90% of Anglo Women's minds. Lets be honest, the society of the United States is at fault for the money hungry women that it produces. This country is too focused on wealth, 401Ks, "marry a doctor" "marry a Lawyer" "what kind of work do you do ? Like that some how will make their lives better. I’ve never been inquisitioned by a foreign woman about what I do, nor have I experienced a foreign woman hit me up with indirect probing questions about my net worth, debts, or assets. Men will find that foreign women will not make you feel like you're being "measured" or interviewed by a nasty bank manager, as is often the case when dating in America. Yet it’s so ironic how Americans will revert to American cultural stereotypes regarding foreign woman and jump to the automatic conclusion that foreign woman are only after you for money when in reality, more often than not, its the American woman you should worry about in this regard! I mean, wow, talk about calling the kettle black! With many woman herein America, generally speaking, I get the impression that no matter how good your morals and character, or how well you treat others, or whether you would be a good father or husband, none of it matters if you don’t have the $50K + income or the right type of job or career status to go with it. For many specific examples and PROOF of this, see my Dating Profiles Comparison. Foreign women are simply FAR less materialistic. Foreign women who have grown up in less developed countries do not fall prey to the consumer-driven mindset that many American women have been indoctrinated into. They’ve learned to get by on much less. They’ve learned the value of a dollar. They’ve probably sacrificed material things throughout their life, and they’ve learned to cherish and care for the things that really matter. In this way, foreign women are much easier to please when it comes to material wealth. On the other hand, many men find it hard to please American women who have become accustomed to a certain level of material wealth. Long gone are the days when a women falls for a guy because he is cute, funny and treats her well. Material things have leap frogged everything else on the list. So unless you make 75k+, own a 2400 square foot home and drive a brand new SUV, your chances of finding an American women are slim. Another thing, A foreign woman will move to be with the man she loves with only the clothes on her back, $100, and a plane ticket in her pocket.
On a personal note, Ive given this subject much thought. Ive concluded that if I am to work my butt off to support the woman I love, I would MUCH rather do so for women who would naturally appreciate it and at least feel grattitude and gratefulness about it. Foreign woman do exactly that! As Dr Laura Schlessinger states, and as Jean Twenge’s research supports, (see our research section) too many American woman have become spoiled and entitled and expect their men to deliver the world on a silver platter. They don’t appreciate whatever their men do for them but just expect their men to do those things for them as a matter of their being entitled to it. It is very rare for a foreign woman to have this selfish mindset.
Internet post by a man who married a filipina
“My Joy is quick to say “I love you”, “Thank you”, and show respect very frequently. This warms my heart and makes me more than willing to return my love as well. While my American X was more inclined to say “what have you done for me lately”.
It bears repeating that not ALL American women are this way, I know some who are not. But generally speaking, most are to one degree or another whereas most foreign ladies are not this way at all.
For those who still would think foreign woman are after your money, note this excerpt from the USCIS report to congress as quoted below. Note how there was no mentin of money or economics. How interesting.
USCIS REPORT TO CONGRESS
“Why do foreign women wantAmerican husbands? Many sources suggest that these women are searching for a "better life" in terms of socio-economic factors--they do, for the most part, come from places in which jobs and educational opportunities for women are scarce and wages are low. However, when the women themselves are asked this question, the answer generally indicates an attraction to American men(they look like movie stars) and an aversion to native men. Americans, they say, make good husbands while Filipino (Thai/Indonesian/Russian/etc.) men do not. Americans are thought to be faithful to their wives, while the native men are cruel and run around with other women. True or not, this is the perception.” (Source : US immigration and naturalization service report to congress)
Below is a online news article quoting a British man who stated the following about his experiences with dating American women (My friends and I have also experienced what he is talking about): Source - Seattle Times news article Stay away, American woman, say British men
One of the first questions is always: "What car do I drive?" Martin says. "If I have the latest BMW or drive a Chevy, does it make a difference? And they want to know what apartment do you live in? Do you live in Bellevue , because if you tell them you live in Everett , they don't want to know you."
Here is a final comment in the Daily Mail from Oliver Bennett, 43, remembering a dinner-date with an American woman: "It was like being with a nasty bank manager, rather than someone with whom you hope to sleep…”
I also came across this online post which I have found to be an accurate description about most foreign women (which is why it totally boggles my mind when Americans try to warn me about foreign women chasing after me for money or a green card):
“They say foreign women are gold diggers, after you for the money. I have dated 2 foreign women, one for 3 years and my current fiancé for 6 years. Each one of them refused expensive gifts, my fiance made me return her first engagement ring when she found out how much it cost and had me purchase a much smaller diamond. They don't like to eat at expensive restaurants preferring to cook and they clean and help me in my business doing the hardest work to help me succeed. American women on the other hand want to compete with their girlfriends in the size of their diamonds, the type of car and the size of the house, they don't cook and want to spend your money all day long and still bitch about it.”
This post makes a excellent point
American women claim that foreigners just want to "break out of their third-world countries," but how many American women choose men solely as a way to increase their standard of living too? 99% of the time, one of the FIRST questions an American woman asks me is "What do you do for a living?" If I said I were a doctor, she'd talk to me more. If I said I were a data entry clerk, she'd disappear faster than a cockroach in daylight. If I don't have a nice house, a nice car and a nice wardrobe, I'm not going to get her phone number. Meanwhile, most foreign women ask me about WHO I AM, rather than WHAT I HAVE.
And this post I found makes a good point also
US culture indoctrinates men that if they just get this degree, buy this house, get this promotion then they'll find a girl. It takes 20 years to get all this stuff, then the girl just wants a better house, a better job, etc, so its just a viscious circle for men. It impossible to please US women.
In this video - new study by the wharton school at the University of pennsylvania that shows that woman are less happier than men despite all the progress that woman have made since the birth of feminism. The study shows that the drop in happiness started in the early 70’s, right after the birth of feminism!
Video of Lou dobbs of CNN: Women starting to realize Feminism has failed them?
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
"They have come a long way as far as equal pay and rights, but they have also taken a giant leap backwards as far as how they got there and their idea of how a real woman should act. What these feminists and feminazis don't realize is that they are actually an odd quirk in the world. The rest of the world sees them as unnatural, anti-feminine, and anti-men; and that includes foreign women as well. They may delude themselves into thinking that the rest of the world admires them as a progressive liberation movement, but in reality they are perceived as haters of their own femininity."
One reader noted:
"You are right that feminism has run amok in the US. However, many women in Europe (especially the Former Soviet Union) reject feminism and consider it a dirty word. They view a woman who is a feminist as either unattractive or a lesbian. Feminism in the US also has made men feel guilty about their masculinity. This guilt leads to more and more men becoming "sensitive new age guys", which women claim they want, but in reality do not."
And though rare, there are still some old-fashioned women left in America who disagree with the current trend of US female culture:
"There are so many men that are feminized and wimpy. What happened to old fashioned roles and values? I am miserable because of all those bra burning feminists that ruined things for my generation. I'd rather stay at home and cook and take care of babies, and be married, then be a single struggling mom trying to make it in this harsh world alone. No support. No love. It's misery. Sheer, pure, misery. Put that down for all the American girls out there. A nice dose of reality coming from your friend Kristy."
Ladies, you can't have your cake and eat it too!
"Prior to the 1970s, people viewed gender roles as equally valuable. Many would argue women had the better end of the deal! It’s hard to claim women were oppressed in a nation in which men were expected to stand up when a lady enters the room or to lay down their lives to spare women life. When the Titanic went down in 1912, its sinking took 1,450 lives. Only 103 were women. One-hundred three.
Compare that with last year’s wrecked cruise line, the Costa Concordia. It resulted in fewer deaths, but there was another significant difference. “There was no ‘women and children first’ policy. There were big men, crew members, pushing their way past us to get into the lifeboats. It was disgusting,” said passenger Sandra Rogers, 62"
Anonymous internet post
"A high birth rate is a sign that the women living in that country have not lost their maternal instincts, very important. The younger a woman is when she starts having children the happier she'll be, which helps explain why western women are generally unhappy despite being the wealthiest women in the last 2000 years. To suggest western women have lost their maternal instincts is the understatement of the year."
As our research section proves, leading experts seem to be pointing to feminism and the upswing of narcissism among American woman as the primary cause of our national divorce epidemic and family breakdown over the past 40 years.
Disclosure - I do believe there were several respectable and good things that feminism accomplished such as equal rights and equal pay. But there is a DARK side to feminism that has harmed woman and destroyed the family unit that once was the backbone of America. America now has the highest divorce rate in the entire world.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger even goes so far as to say that:
“feminism is not only responsible for the deterioration of the family, but also for the disintegration of intimacy between men and women.”
Dr David G Myers says:
“There is evidence that women with traditional sex role attitudes are indeed less likely to divorce than those with feminists attitudes (The American Paradox, pg 45-46)
I believe Dr Laura is correct when she states that feminism is at the root of the divorce epidemic and family breakdown in America. I also believe the primary benchmark of feminism is the aggregate divorce rate. A review of the facts will show the top 5 nations are the US, UK, NZ, and AUS. See Nationmaster’s world divorce rate chart
Note that the rise in the divorce rate coincided with the birth of and continued rise of feminism. Also note that the countries that rank the highest in divorce rates around the world are also countries that rank the highest in feminism. Just another simple haphazard coincidence? What would be the odds of that kind of timing? Before blowing off these facts as merely unrelated coincidences, let me leave you with some quotes directly from the American experts that I think pretty much makes it undeniable that through the double whammy of feminism and narcissism, the changes weve witnessed with American woman (as as documented by these experts - see our research section) have been the root cause of marriage and family breakdown in America over the past 40 years. This is not just an opinion. You may review these sample quotes below by leading American experts and decide for yourself what you think. Below is but a very small sampling of the documentation we provide in our main research section of this site supporting these notions. I want to emphasize that the experts we use to prove our points are not some unknown cherry picked professionals without a track record. Our research section fully documents the credentials of our experts and clearly they are considered among the top experts in the Inited States today. Most are New York times best selling authors.
By the way, I think it’s important that I mention that these two American experts did not mention any examples of men as a “group” as having their own problems causing serious issues in relationships and marriage. Im not implying that men are the blameless sex in America’s divorce epedemic, but my point is that I didn’t cherry pick these quotes and examples while purposely omitting similar quotes about men. There simply was no comments by these experts about men being the source of today’s divorce and relationship woes. The only similar statements about men were made by Jean Twenge when she occasionally gave a few examples of how the men did not completely escape the effects of narcissism (i.e. Over valueing material things and worshiping their 6 pack bodies). That’s about it. And that is interesting and quite revealing to say the least.
When Dr Laura Schlessinger was asked why doesn’t she also write a book called “the proper care and feeding of wives” that addresses the dysfunctional relationship issues of men, her reply is shown below.
Dr Laura states:
"Men are simple creatures who come from a woman, are nurtured and brought up by a woman, and yearn for the continued love, admiration, and approval from a woman." Women have great power and influence over men, and wives in particular have tremendous power over their husbands. How they use this power essentially controls the relationship, because women are the masters of most relationships and marriages."
The bottom line is obvious. She simply doesn’t believe men are at the root cause of the marriage and family breakdown in America. If she did, she would have written about it and would have answered this question differently. In her books she clearly states that feminism has destroyed the family unit and what was once a harmonious relationship between men and woman. This is why there will be no book by Dr Laura talking about men’s problems in relationships and marriage.The closest thing to it was a book she wrote called "The 10 stupid things that men do to mess up their lives". But this book is not about characteristics of men themselves. It is about stupid things men "do" to themselves by making bad choices with women. So ya see, there is no book by her about men as being at the root of raltionship and marriage problems in the US like she wrote about women with her book titled "The proper care and feeding of husbands" that I often quote in this research section.
"It's no news that Marriage and Family Structure are foundations for any civilization, and for decades at least, these things have been in decline in the United States and the Western societies in general. In more recent times, the decline of marriage and the two parent household have sped up. Marriage rates are down, but out-of-wedlock births are increasing. Not only that, but the women having out-of-wedlock babies are increasing in age. In decades past, it was much more often teenage girls who became pregnant outside of marriage. And now, the stigmas are gone, marriage has declined from easy divorce and misandrist laws, and besides those factors, men have been priced out of the marriage market anyway. It's damn hard to find a decent job nowadays, especially for a man.
The culture has been eroded so severely that the stigma of illegitimate births is now absent. We're so fully into the "you go grrrl, so in-duh-pen-dent, I don't need a man" stage of feminism that the culture apparently has nothing left to hold it back. We're in the train heading toward the cliff. And there's no indication anyone is going to save the train.
Consider also another part in the erosion of society: the rise of single occupant households. Along with single-mom households, single person ones are increasing as well. So a large portion of American households are chaotic producers of future thugs, and another large portion are isolation boxes. Great.
But there are still traditional households. Two parent families. A few multi-generational homes.
Fast forward to 2030 for a moment. Those kinds of homes will be all but eliminated then. I'm not being an alarmist. I would write with lots of exclamation points if I was. I see the end game of feminism, misandry, and the destruction of marriage, family, trust, and all those good things which feel so distant.
Society will change for the worse and I am powerless to affect it. So be it.
Some have asked how marriage can be saved. How can society be restored? How can we put right what has been done wrong? And even if one could...
...is there anything worth saving left? "
CNN Article - THE AMERICAN FAMILY
Through the breakdown of marriage and the family unit, everyone knows how vastly it has been transformed. But we are just learning how profoundly disturbing the implications are for our kids -- and for American society in general. See http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/1992/08/10/76732/index.htm
What Im about to point out here will likely be seen as very taboo by both American men and woman. But we need to put aside our Western cultural upbringing and let the science do the talking before we so blindly criticize and scowl at the idea of adult children living at home.
An adult living at home is completely immaterial to foreign woman because that is actually the norm and very typical in most non western countries. Such a thing is only stygmatized in the West. Let me repeat that,…only in the West is such a thing considered a negative thing. But as you read my research section you will see that this cultural ‘stand alone’ individualistic independent attitude is what gets us Americans into so much trouble – mental health wise .
Western culture claims that living at home into adult hood is a “loser” thing. Yet who are we (as Americans) to make such a claim when we have such a abysmal mental health track record?? We have the highest mental Illness (depression and anxiety) in the entire world!! And guess what? Lonliness is identified by many social psychologists, (such as Jean Twenge), as one of the most significant contributors to America’s world leading mental illness of depression and anxiety! It is actually MORE healthy to live with family no matter at what age than to live alone in complete isolation or with a stranger roomate! Jean Twenge specifically points this out in her book. See below!
“A lot of people in America spend a great deal of time living alone. Twice as many 15 to 24 yr olds lives in one person households now compared to 1970. More than 1 out of 3 Americans aged 24 to 29 lives alone or with a non familial roommate. Isolation and loneliness readily lead to anxiety and depression. A mountain of evidence links loneliness and being alone with negative mental health outcomes. I often feel that many of us are one breakup or one move away from depression - our roots are not deep enough, our support systems too shallow”. (Generation Me, pg 115)
Perhaps, in some situations it is unhealthy such as situations where the parents are doing everything for their son or daughter such that the individual never grows as a person or never learns how to function independently. But in most cases of adult children living at home, this is not the case. Most pay some form of rent or help with the bills, and do their own cooking, laundry and cleaning. It’s just a simple case of family living together, one’s age just shouldn’t matter.
"Our growing tendency to put the self first leads to unparalleled freedom, but it also creates an enormous amount of pressure on us to stand alone. This is the downside of the focus on the self- when we are fiercely independent and self-sufficient, our disappointments loom large because we have nothing else to focus on”. (Generation Me, pg 109-110)
While Americans may not want to hear it, the science proves that this stand alone ethos is what is killing our mental health. The idea that parents must kick out their kids at 18 so they can live alone all in the name of becoming “independent” is mostly an American thing. Most of the non western world does not follow this creed. Ask any Latino, Asian, or Russian or European and you will see this is not a taboo thing in most of the world, and in fact, most foreigners I have encountered view this cultural practice as cold! Only in the Western countries is living with parents considered taboo. In fact, if you date non Americanized foreign women in America, such as new arrivals, you will almost always find that the women actually think highly of the fact that you live at home with family! Time and time again, I have encountered foreign women who actually reacted with praise when I mentioned it to them. In other countries, a man choosing to stay with his parents is considered a good thing! It's perceived as your being a family type man. You are viewed as being a good son or daughter by wanting to stay with them under the same roof. Foreigners appreciate family bonding and closeness. Bottom line, if you are one of those people (male or female) who remain with parents into adult hood (for whatever reason), you will find that foreigners either see nothing odd about it or will actually praise you for it! I believe it has to do with the fact that other cultures are more healthy and genuine and will accept people for who they are. In other cultures, there isn't a demanding competitive environment where people must prove themselves via meaningless and artificial measures that have nothing to do with what really matters in life. Other cultures are more concerned with who you are as a person, not what your living situation is.
We are suffering from deppression and anxiety as a result of living in lonliness due to this stand alone/live alone independent ethos. Many people reading this will claim how happy and indpendent they are living alone and this may be true for some, but as Jean Twenge’s work shows, the science says differently for most.
In addition ,once one travels abroad, one gains a healthy perspective. The perspective I gained was realizing that most cultures are more authentic and genuine which means you are truly accepted for who you are and people are not superficially judged by things that DON’T REALLY MATTER. While most adult children move out due to US cultural expectations (to go against this is flying in the face of American societal norms), others prefer to move out because they want their personal space or don’t get along very well with their parents or because they finally marry off. My personal take on this issue is that I believe that true "intellectual" independence is living life true to yourself which means having the ability to resist societal pressures to conform. I think a man of real fortitude doesnt buckle to society norms, and instead lives his life as he himself sees fit. In other words, he doesnt give a shit about what others think.
Loser stigma of living with parents
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
"The US attaches a loser stigma to adults past 23 who live with their parents, while most of the world doesn‘t. In other countries, families are closer knit and bonded, and their society sees nothing wrong with adults cohabitating with their parents for whatever reason. There is not this assumption that any adult living at home with his/her folks must be a dysfunctional loser, mentally handicapped, inept, or have mental health issues. One can be independent and normal, yet still live with their parents. Of course, youngsters abroad also have the same desire to be independent, move out of their parents' homes and live on their own as their American counterparts do. But the difference is that they do not condemn or see something "wrong" with those who remain at home or move back in with their parents later on. And in fact, it is normal for those who are successful professionally, or those who are happily married, to be living with their parents, if the arrangement is mutually beneficial. The "live with parents = loser" stigma is just a weird American quirk that the rest of the world doesn't share. If only more Americans knew about such things, then they'd be far less judgmental of others."
In any case, living with your parents definitely saves you money, and as long as you have a good relationship with your folks and are doing something productive with your life, it shouldn't matter what other people think. You do not have to conform to other people's standards. They don't own you and you don't owe them anything. As long as you are not hurting anyone, it's none of other people's business."
The fact is, any man who has extensive experience dating foreign women will tell you that generally speaking, foreign women could care less about what you make or where you work (i.e. you work at Walmart or flip burgers at Burger King – for most of them, it doesn’t matter). They are more concerned with the things that REALLY matter such as your character, and who you are as a human being, or how you treat others, than they are about anything else. As long as you are a responsible hard working man, (as in not lazy), they accept you for who you are regardless of the type of job you have. I have found that foreign women are far less judgmental in just about everything. They tend to "accept you for who you are" as long as you treat them with kindness and respect and decency. While there are some American woman who are the same way, (as previously mentioned, country and small town woman tend to be more accepting) generally speaking, by far and large, the majority of them simply arn’t. Foreign woman just want a man who will never abuse them, and who will simply treat them right . That may sound different from most of today’s Western women who are focused on money, looks, youth, and level of employment.
Also, as alluded to earlier, most American women have rather high minimum income expectations. For example, if you peruse dating sites that allow women to list minimum income requirements such as at Match.com, you will notice that MOST of the ladies profiles list minimum income requirements! I find this disheartening and disappointing. Trust me on this difference. You don't have to take my word for it – join International dating sites and find out for yourself. You simply do not find minimum income requirements on foreign woman profiles, and most of the time you will notice that Foreign born woman residing in the US do not list minimum income requirements either. The dating profile comparisons makes the evidence clear cut and obvious. See the dating profile comparison chart I put together for more about these dfifferences in the dating profile comparison section of my site. It's such a breath of fresh air to be allowed to be yourself and not be measured by such artificial ways such as the title of your job or the size of your wallet. The gentleman who runs www.globaldatingrevolution.com puts it best when he said the following statement:
“foreign women value material wealth less than women in the Upper Tier countries. Lower tier woman are also satisfied with less material wealth, not having been brought up with such excesses that are presented in the wealthier nations. Because they’ve never experienced the type of wining and dining Upper Tier women expect, Lower Tier women don’t expect you to roll out your wallet for expensive meals or pricey gifts. Spending a little here and there will often go a long way. In lower tier cultures, the humble women really don’t care if you take them to cheap restaurants, stores, malls, or hotels. They only care about your companionship. Much less attractive American women will often complain if you take them to a place that isn’t considered “hip,” or “in.” Some even demand you take them to such places—or just take them home. I know because this has happened to me on several occasions. Why take crap from demanding, egotistical Upper Tier/Western culture women when there are hundreds of thousands of beautiful, grateful young women in the Lower Tier countries who appreciate anything you do for them!”
Not ALL Western woman are as characterized below, but generally speaking, the below comparisons have quite a bit of truth to them
On Financial Setbacks:
Westernized Woman: “So what are you going to do about it”
Foreign woman: “Maybe I can get some overtime to help out.”
Westernized Woman: “I just have to have that Vuitton purse/Tiffany bracelet/etc..”
Foreign woman: “I wonder if I can find a first-class copy.”
After receiving a gift:
Westernized Woman: Says “thanks” while instantly comparing it to the version owned by her most ostentatious friend.
Foreign woman: “Thanks, but you really didn’t need to do this.”
Guys, if you haven't dated "real" foreign women (ps- Americanized foreign woman don’t count!), how would you know these differences in attitudes? For men who havent traveled and dated foreign woman, the only thing you have to fall back on is American cultural stereotypes about foreign woman. How accurate can those be? And herein lies the problem and why my motto is "Inspiration through education.” Most men haven't traveled and dated overseas and hence their exposure to foreign women and their attitudes are usually limited to local foreign born "Americanized" women who have already been infected to a large degree by our culture of feminism and materialism.
Here is an Excellent example (U tube video) describing the problem with many (not all) American ladies today
Video - Charlie’s first date with an American girl
All men (including myself) who have traveled and dated woman from certain particular countries such as Russia, Europe, and Latin America will attest to the fact that generally speaking, (not in all cases, ..just GENERALLY), foreign woman seem to be somewhat more sophisticated, cultured, mature, classy, proper, and more refined than the average American female. (Perhaps an exception would be older American woman in their 40’s or above).
As an average American male who had previously never traveled or dated abroad, I would have never guessed it. In fact, I would have guessed just the opposite! It just goes to show how powerful our media machine is when it tells Americans that everything outside our nation’s borders is less, inferior, and repressed.
Hence, Ive learned that class, intellect, and sophistication quite often have very little to do with money. One of the classiest ladies I ever met in my life was from Peru. Her family had little money, she was not even college educated, but her degree of class, intellect, and sophistication far exceeded that of the average American woman by a mile. In fact, I almost felt she was out of my league too, well, she probably was! LOL
More on this from others below:
“Another difference with many foreign woman is their intellect. Compared to the US, women in Russia/Europe have a much richer and refined intellectual life, are more cultured, higher educated, have a broader knowledge of the world, and speak many more languages (most of them speak between 2 and 5 languages while most American women speak only their own). In contrast, not only do most young women in the US not value having an intellectual life, but they lack curiosity as well, and so many can’t even hold an intelligent conversation. While a higher percentage of older women in the US can hold somewhat of an intelligent conversation, the typical young American female lacks depth and can’t say much beyond “yeah”, “really”, and “cool”, which is sad but true. This makes it difficult to connect with them or find common ground with them, as there is not much substance to them to work with. In fact, I’d say the tremendous difference between the ability of young women to hold a conversation in the US vs abroad is almost as apparent as the weight difference. One thing can be said for sure though, in pretty much all countries outside the USA, women are either more cultured or more modest, one or the other, or both. It’s no surprise that Russian/European women also generally have much more variety in their interests and passions, which makes them much more interesting people as well. They have a love for exploring new things, expressing and expanding themselves, and maximizing their experiences and passions in life. Again, the slightest interaction with them reveals this obvious difference compared to their US counterparts. European and Russian women who visit America often report that one of their first impressions is that the women there have no real interests (compared to them at least; by their standards).”
Person of excellence
The USA falls short in this definition of a "person of excellence" compared to many other countries of the world including Europe, Russia, and the Former Soviet states.
Person of Excellence: (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 70)
1) He or she is a world citizen - that is, someone who knows a fair amount about the world (science and history, in particular)
2) He or she seeks both physical valor and intellectual refinement ("mens sana in corpore sano")
3) He or she is accomplished in music and versed in the arts
4) He or she is charitable - i.e. aware that real strength lies not in material force, but in the power to give, forgive, help, and heal.
"Now let's consider our current situation. Does it match up to this ideal?
Our command of Science is weak, and participation in politics minimal; we tolerate grave social injustice; most of us are overweight and out of shape; a huge fraction of the American adult population is functionally illiterate; there is a vast gap between rich and poor; our politics is strident and bellicose. On an average daily basis, Americans spent 5 minutes reading books (of any kind), six minutes on active sports, two minutes on ourdoor activities, one minute on making music, 30 seconds on theater and concerts, and less than 30 seconds on artwork and museum visits. The average American now watches TV four hours a day. Quite obviously, we are not a nation devoted to the pursuit of excellence, as defined by the classical and Judeo Christian traditions; even from a contemporary European perspective, we are something of a joke. The overwhelmingly majority of Americans are simply not interested in the life of the mind, and in a participatory sense not terribly interested in the life of the body. What else is left? The degeneration of things to commodities, which finally entails making instant gratification the purpose of life, has it's logical conclusion in drugs or the direct stimulation of the brain (pure commodity). A person living in this way - and if we put compulsion around food, alcohol, tobacco, televison, sex, shopping, and spectator sports on the list, we've probably targeted 95% of the American population - is at the extreme opposite end of the spectrum from the person of excellence described above." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 70)
Cultural Refinement of the French
“Dinnertime was a great example because every night of the week, whether it was a Wednesday or a Friday, it would be an experience that included a three-course meal and lively conversation, Scott said. Afterward, the family would listen to classical music. They never sat in front of the television with a box of pizza and zoned out, never,"
"I would attend at least two dinner parties a week when I was there... and I wouldn't really (know a lot about) the guests. I wouldn't know what they did for a living, but yet I would know the best book they read recently or the most interesting film they saw or the art exhibit that they went to. They loved to discuss these areas of life but they don't overshare details about their personal lives."
"They just observed these formal protocols and manners and etiquette were very important to them. They used their best china and their best crystal on a regular basis. ... They used the nicest things that they had on a daily basis and it elevated every experience that we had."
News article discusses intelligence of the US population
Article source : Most Americans lack basic knowledge
“All of the data over the last 20 years show that Americans are not very bright, and not even the bright ones are very bright—it’s not merely a question of IQ. A Marist poll released on July 4, 2011 showed that 42 percent of American adults are unaware that the U.S. declared its independence in 1776, and this figure increases to 69 percent for the under-30 age group. Twenty-five percent of Americans don’t know from which country the United States seceded. A poll taken in the Oklahoma public school system turned up the fact that 77 percent of the students didn’t know who George Washington was, and the Texas Board of Education recently voted to include a unit on Estee Lauder in the history curriculum, when they don’t have one on the first president. Nearly 30 percent of the American population thinks the sun revolves around the earth or is unsure of which revolves around which. Etc. etc. How can such a population grasp a structural analysis of American history or politics? They simply aren’t capable of it.”
"Not caring and not knowing, of course go hand in hand. Lack of the most basic knowledge is so extreme in the United States that one has to wonder if we are talking about ignorance of just outright stupidity." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 286)
by Winston Wu of Happier abroad
A Greek Italian related this joke about Americans to me.
When the UN distributed this questionnaire:
1)What is your opinion on how to reduce food shortage to the rest of the world?
The European replied: What is shortage?
The African replied: What is food?
The Chinese replied: What is opinion?
The American replied: What is the rest of the world?
2) And another traveler shared this one with me:
What do you call someone who can speak two languages? Bilingual
What do you call someone who can speak three languages? Trilingual
What do you call someone who can speak only one language? American
Americans in general tend to be the least cultured of the industrialized world. In Europe/Russia for example, most young people speak at least 2 to 3 languages, and it‘s not uncommon to find those that speak 5 or more. But in the US, most people speak only English, and interest in foreign languages is less common than in other industrialized nations. Most Americans don‘t even know who the leaders of their neighboring countries are in Canada and Mexico, nor do they even know who the governors are in their neighboring states! It simply doesn‘t concern or interest them. This is unheard of in Europe though, where pretty much everyone knows who the leaders of their neighboring countries are.
Foreigners love making fun of Americans‘ ignorance of geography, which is well known around the world. They sometimes test Americans on their basic international knowledge, which usually validates their point. For instance, a Brazilian guy I met in a hostel tested me once by asking me if I knew what the official language of his country was. When I guessed ?Spanish he scoffed that almost every American he‘s met didn‘t know the answer to that, which is Portuguese, something that mainstream Europeans, even those living in villages, know. It simply astounds them how clueless average Americans are about the rest of the world.
My Expat Advisor provided his explanation and observation of this phenomenon:
"There seems to be a difference in education. Europeans believe in being informed about the world outside. Being a well-rounded person is seen as a virtue. In the US, according to Europeans, people are very good at their individual professions and a few of their hobbies. However, studying anything that does not lead to practical results, is seen as a waste of time. That for some reason seems to include Geography and World History. So, as long as a conversation between an American and a foreigner runs along a specific topic such as business or the American's chose field of expertise, everything seems fine. Problems start when a European wants to have a broader discussion on international culture or current world events ( the ones that do not cover America's involvement in some war). Once a discussion like that starts, an American tunes out. He gives his conversation partner a blank look and starts feeling uncomfortable. Some Americans will even say with pride "I don't know anything about ( insert the topic). You might be talking to a five-year-old for all one cares. The neglected areas of Geography and any knowledge of the world outside the US- a subject that many Europeans take for granted and learn at an early age which seems to go largely uncovered in the US causes the impression of 'dumbness'. Brits complain that when they were in the US, MIT graduates would ask them questions such as : "Is there a bridge between England and Scotland or do you take a ferry? One Brit was fuming, do you know what that American asked me? He asked me what language do you guys speak in England? Australian TV once ran a program where an Aussie went to some American city and stood there with a map, asking people to show on the map where Australia was and no one, allegedly, could do it. And these are American reactions to people who come from fellow- Anglo-Saxon countries!"
Things get worse when other countries are involved. Numerous foreign students who go to the US to study complain that most Americans have never even heard of their countries to begin with. One Malaysian girl studying at a college in New York was almost hysterical " No American has even heard of Malaysia". They keep asking me " Where is that?"
Point is, the general mindset of the average American about the rest of the world is that everyone eats bugs out of muddy rivers and prays to The Sun God to let them come to America someday. The American government wants to enforce this, as well, to keep national pride high...by keeping national awareness low.
Since the US is not generally a country focused on intellectualism but rather materialism, consumerism, and mass consumption, its environment does not breed intellectualism in young people. As a result, it is rare to find young people in America who are intellectual (by that I mean people who like to think, philosophize, analyze the meaning of history/society/life, develop a broad perspective, etc.) Therefore, young intellectuals in America often feel alienated and abnormal. They have a hard time relating or connecting with peers in their age group, who probably see them as odd. Most intellectuals in America (e.g. deep wise people, authors, writers of history, philosophy, religion, etc.) are usually older adults at least 35 years old. Therefore, young intellectuals tend to have to connect with much older adults to get any connection or stimulation. This situation is a bit odd and unnatural, to be honest. Fortunately, this is not the case with the rest of the world. In other countries like Europe/Russia, it is normal and common for young people to be intellectual and interested in things like art, history, literature, philosophy, and culture. (Embarrassingly enough, some of the young people I met there were surprised that I didn't know certain American authors that they had known and read!) And they can find other intellectuals among their peers easily. In addition, they are very normal and appreciated, rather than alienated in America and made to feel that they don‘t fit in or that there is something wrong with them just because they don‘t share the materialistic consumption-driven mentality that our culture does. That‘s why I‘ve always said that young artists and intellectuals who wish to be understood and appreciated will thrive more in Europe than in the USA.
"Compared to their European counterparts in terms of being informed about the outside world, Americans come off looking like a collection of buffoons." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 295)
"You are dealing here with people (Americans) who are almost childlike in their understanding of what is going on in the world" (Gerald Celente, director of the Trends Research Institute - Dark Ages America pg 297)
by Winston Wu of Happier abroad
A primary difference between Americans and Europeans is that Europeans have a rich INNER life to balance out an outer life, which Americans generally don‘t in comparison, especially among the young crowd. In the US, most people see life only in terms of making money, buying things, and surface practicalities. There is no spiritual or intellectual dimension in their lives, and no inner life. The routine lifestyle is one of perpetual hyped consumption, as people are conditioned to believe that constantly buying things leads to happiness and fulfillment. Their lives are judged by what they have in the outer world - possessions, riches, material assets, career status, financial worth, outer appearance, etc. An individual without these things is considered a loser by society's standards. That's their mentality and universe. To them, that is "normal" and "real life". There is no appreciation or value at all on a person's "inner life". So not surprisingly, those with rich inner lives can feel a bit alienated in America and different from the mainstream. Sadly, the lack of having an inner life in America contributes to the population‘s fragile egos, pseudo-confidence, pseudo-positivity (the positive attitude fad) and paranoia. It‘s no surprise there, that all this is very thin blanket that covers the American ego, giving the illusion of it being a shield against emptiness, hopelessness, and insanity. This becomes all so apparent when you see just how fake and artificial things are in America, as well as people.
Of course, living materialistically under materialistic conditions is normal in the world, but the difference is that most in the rest of the world at least have some kind of inner life to balance it out with, while most Americans tend to have little or no "inner life" at all. Our industrial culture‘s values does not appreciate, value or even acknowledge the existence of having an inner life, which is so important yet ignored by our industrial culture that only sees the outer..
Since the great religions and spiritual practices teach that the outer world is temporary and passes away, clinging to it creates suffering and disappointment (Christianity emphasizes this too, not just the Eastern religions). Hence, that's why there is so much suffering and unhappiness in America despite it being the richest country. The pleasures of the outer world are fleeting and flat, and conditional; they do not lead to lasting joy, peace or fulfillment. On the other hand, a person with a rich inner life knows how to be happy and joyful regardless of conditions in his outer world, something which is beyond the average American who sees nothing other than what's in the outer material world. But sadly of course, having a rich inner life is not encouraged by our culture of mass consumption, where "progress" is measured by how much consumers spend, for it is not in their interest to do so. In general, I notice that foreigners as well as people abroad tend to have much richer inner lives in comparison to Americans.
Here are some direct examples to illustrate what I mean about the inner life of a typical European/Russian youngster vs. the void-ness of a common American one. Now, I've been using the internet since 1996, and have chatted and written to hundreds of American girls (being forced to give up hope on them eventually). Whenever I ask them about themselves to try to generate conversation, here is what they generally say, along these lines more or less:
"I go to school (or work). I like to party, drink, go clubbing, chill with friends, you know, the usual things."
Here is another example of how a typical American airheadish girl describes herself on her MySpace profile. Notice how uneducated and unaware she is about the rest of the world, and how absorbed she is in her highly consumerist world of image and airhead partying. (Ironically, she mentions that she doesn‘t like fake people but doesn‘t realize her own fakeness) She even misspells a lot of words:
"I love snowboarding and football they are probably my two favorite things. My favorite day is sunday because i get to lay in bed all day and watch football all day. I love to snowboard every waking moment that i can and i love to always explore new trails. I would die without a starbucks everyday... i am addcited and i will admit it. Along with starbucks my other weakness is purses i love Coach purses more than anything and own probably one from every season... yes i have a big weakness. I also have a huge weakness for shoes. I will buy any kind of shoe that i think is aborable but i mainly stick to heels that are strappy or pointy toed. ..Shopping is one of my favorite things too and i probably go a little too often. My favorite place to shop at is Bellvue because they have all of the good stores. I love SUV's and trucks. I dont think i will ever be able to drive a car again... i drive a cadillac SRX but might be trading it in for a new Denali. Guys in suv's like 4runners or pathfinders are a huge turn on. My favorite color is pink and i own tons of pink clothes. I absolutley hate people that are two faced. I also hate people that are fake.. people that are fake in everyway bug me.. be real. I hate asparagus and beans. I love thai food and fruit more than anything in the world to eat. I also love meeting new people and can get along with almost anyone. I am always up for something new. I am very outgoing and personable... i love to joke around and be sarcastic so dont always take what i am saying literally. I love dogs and one of the loves of my life is Blake my dog. I love hubby Abraham and i know that he is always there for me! Getting massages and pedicures are amazing and i try to get them as much as possible. I love jeans and own them in every styler and color. My favorite brands are Antik and True Religion. I love to watch MTV and VH1 shows and can lsiten to almost any type of music. I am just up for a good time!! All i am about is having fun. I try to make fun where ever i go and it usually happens!! I just want fun, cuz GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!!"
Now contrast that with this letter below that I received from a young girl from Russia. Notice how aware of and in tune with herself she is, how cultured and intelligent she seems, and how she is able to describe and express herself and her varied interests in English even though it's her second language.
"Hi Winston, I am sorry, that has not answered you at once. Some last days there was not connections with a server. Besides, unfortunately writing does not concern to number of my talents, I have more likely technical thinking, than humanitarian , and in your letter I have found many ideas which I share and I wanted to consider better the reply to you as such frank letter deserves the worthy answer. I want to note, that leaving the ad on Au Pair, I had no at all intentions to find something the greater, rather than simply friendly correspondence with the purpose of improvement of my English language. Anyway, I am sure, that from our conversation I will get a lot of new and interesting things and ideas as you seem very clever, educated and versatile person. Now a little about me. I am 23 years old. I live in city of Novosibirsk, so-called "capital" of Siberia both the third on size and a population city of Russia. It not my native city. I was born in city of Surgut (it is Siberia too, but more to the north), I have grown there and graduated from school. In Novosibirsk I study on the third rate of faculty of Information Computing Technologies, the future speciality - programming. I like to study and I think that was not mistaken in a choice of a direction, computers and Internet - one of my basic interests. Further more, about interests. Besides computers I m interested in a great number of the diversified things, it is a pity only, that It is only 24 hours in day, instead of 48, for example, and i have not time for all of it :))). I adore reading, most of all I love historical novels, the classical literature (especially French) and Fantasy. I do not like much love novels and detectives, I do not know why by myself :)). I adore movie and cinemas, I miss novelties very seldom, I collect an own collection of films. I adore good music. I do not like pop, turnips, hip-hop, a trance and techno - did i call it correct? I love a rock music. But actually, if to be truely honest, I don t have much time for my numerous interests, so Mainly i read books in The underground, watching movies while having my dinner and 1 or 2 times in month go to some theatre:), almost All the time is spent for study. I am a kind of vegetarian :))) I do not eat meat at all, but sometimes I eat a fish. I love animals and wildlife Very much, supporter Green Peace though I do not attend their meetings and demonstrations, I just try to act according to my belief. I do not much like to be engaged in housekeeping, however I am able to prepare for tasty pancakes, you might be tasted some when you were in Russia, and I adore romantic suppers with candlelightes. Besides I very active person. I adore sports, tourism, travel. I like to open the new places, new people and new interests. Meanwhile I was only in three countries, not considering the countries of the CIS - in Sweden, England and Turkey, my financial opportunities are limited, but i m sure, that in the future this list will be filled up. I adore tourism, almost all last summer has spend in mountains - necessarily I shall send you some photos. Sometimes I like to take a walk on city just thinking and dreaming. I do a sport called Tae Kwon Do - kind of Oriental combat sports, aerobics, I love ping-pong, a bicycle, rollers, riding (though i m awful rider :))) ), I dream to jump with a parachute. I adore picnics and in general I love any active leisure. I like to go on a visit, and even more i like to receive visitors at my place and to treat them with tasty dinner. I love good interesting conversation over a bottle of wine. I think myself the integral, purposeful, reliable and obligatory person, sympathetic, inquisitive and friendly. My friends know, that it is possible to rely on me and at any time to address for the help and support. In people I do not like meanness, egoism, callousness and most of all I appreciate frankness, fidelity and kindness. My astrological mark Balance if u interested, as for me - i do not trust horoscopes. Also I want to add, that the nationality has no absolutely any value for me, and I have not absolutely understood, that you meant, when spoke about Caucasian women. By the way, I m Russian :))). Well, it seems like i have written all that has occurred to me :))). I shall wait for your reply With impatience. P.S. My contact information. I would like contacting by e-mail, u know the address. Also u can call me if u wish, my mobile phone is snipped. I do not tell u my post address, because I live in a student hostel and they lose letters very often. And about photos - i will mail it to u as soon as i make some fresh ones" Likewise, look at this letter from a 16 year old girl in the Czech Republic (formerly Czechoslovakia). Notice how cultured, aware of other cultures, down-to-earth and genuine she is, even though she‘s just a teen! "
Likewise, look at this letter from a 16 year old girl in the Czech Republic (formerly Czechoslovakia). Notice how cultured, aware of other cultures, down-to-earth and genuine she is, even though she‘s just a teen!
"Hi Winston, how´s it going?:-) Well, both "a" in my name sound like "u" in the word "up" so it´s more like "Yunu" or "Yuna" i don´t know exactly:-) In my town there are two parts - the old one and the new one. I live in an old one, it´s quite a nice part, there are lots of monuments, beautiful park, chateau, churches, spas (there are just 3 springs but my town was very smart so it got millions euros by EU to rebuild the old unused "spas" and it got a status of real spas) and lots of very old buildings (the house i live in was built in about 1870 and it´s far from the oldest house here:-)). The new part is full of ugly blocks of flats and there are also two districts with new houses. It´s just about 100 km away from Prague. I love Prague I think it´s one of the most beautiful cities in the world (but maybe i´m a little nationalistic:-)). I go there for shopping, concerts, sports matches etc. there´s always something to do (in contrast to my town). I was there just a few days ago and i couldn´t believe my eyes...it´s just so lovely...when you are there you feel like it´s about 15th century. I like it much more than e.g. Paris cuz for me it´s quite boring - everything looks the same so it´s quite easy to get lost there:-) And a lot of people in france didn´t want to speak in english nor german (my friend told me to try to say some words in french and tell them i´m from CR, reputably they are more talkative if they know you´re not german or british:-), but mostly they were nice I don´t know much of Poland, i´ve never been there, I´ve just heard Poles are more nationalistic and really proud of their country and Czechs are unfortunately not (they are proud of being czechs only if we win an ice-hockey or football (soccer) match:-) Poles are really more religious than Czechs cuz Czechs are one of the most atheistic people in the europe(maybe the whole world). I don´t think it´s bad cuz it makes czechs more tolerant about lots of things ( s etc.). It´s sad people don´t like you if you aren´t white in poland, i hope it´s better here in CR. I mean, czechs are not racist, i think they find people of another colour (black especially:-) all my friends say they love them though most of them know no one who´s black:-) ) really interesting. But very much of them has an aversion against romanies:-( I think this is similar in poland and in cr... I don´t know if czechs are wilder than poles, everybody says something else:-) Maybe it depends on what part are you in:-) How did you get to Poland? And why did you choose it? Where have you been? I want to go there so you could recommend me some places:-) Well, in my trip to usa I was going to New York first, then to Chicago, "down" (to the south) along route 66 to california (LA of course:-)), and then "up" to Seattle (my dad wanted to see the music museum or something and i wanted to see where kurt cobain lived:-) and then back to cr. Maybe it looks that it´s too much for a month visit but my dad´s friend pefectly layed it out (how many km we have to travel every day and what exactly we can catch up and see (there was a little trip to Mexico too i think, but i didn´t care much of our programm:-) )) Czechoslovakia was established in 1918 but Slovaks were always the feeling they are oppressed so we got separated in 1993. Now it´s the Czech republic and Slovakia - two small countries instead of one quite large. I love simpsons, they´re funny:-) i think my impression of a fat man eating bigmac comes from this serial:-) I guess i´m also very influenced of movies, travel documents/films, school a little (we´re supposed to learn things like industry, political system etc. but my teacher wants to share his travel experiences with me and my schoolmates:-) ) and of newspapers ( i love to read it but they care much more of europe than america) I don´t mind you quote me in your book. What´s that about? How europeans see americans?;-) Will your book be available in europe? I also hope your essay is easy to read, i really would like to read it. Will you write it on imdb?"
Interestingly enough, if you look closely at the MySpace intro and compare it with Elena and Jana‘s letters, you will notice that the grammar and vocabulary of the foreign girls, even though English is their second language, is more refined and organized than that of the American girl, whose native language is English!
To me (at least in California and Washington) the mainstream young population in their teens and twenties have always been like empty bags of air to me with no depth. Note that I am not referring to all young people in America, but the MAINSTREAM typical young people in this country. I've never figured out how you are supposed to connect with people like that, and I still can‘t figure it out today. How does one connect with empty bags of air? I‘ve never found any logical solution to this awkward dilemma. Nowhere was this more true than in the public high school environment, and the club/bar scene, where the most shallow and brainless people hang out. There, no matter how many beautiful girls you meet, it‘s almost impossible to hold an intelligent conversation with them. Here is an example of what I mean. These are words of some typical airhead valley girls to their girlfriends on MySpace.com. These are the type of people who are part of the cool crowd in America, and fit the party animal scene. In other words, this is how cool people talk in America. Not only are the words airheadish to the extreme, but very cliquish and exclusive in nature as well, not the kind of talk a third person can join in on.
"J-TELL!!!!!!!!! GIRLFRIEND!!!! i miss u liken ens!!! YOu better be holding it down in BHAM for me MISSAYY.......i cant wait to hang out with you..i wish u were here with us KPJ i mean come on now haha welll my dear have a lovely night babyyyyyy!!!!!!! FRIDAY Night and i belive tomorrow is APRIL FOOLS DAY GIRL!! HAHA U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!heheH love ya girl!!!? JENNIFER..its official..im comingg to walla wallaa....HAHAHA WOOO HOO..you let kayla know that...its time TO Getttt wild..i will be arriving..on APRIL 21sts....YEAY im so excited jenn I LOVE YOUU andd i cant wait to see you...haha take me to the wild whitman parties please?? haha...oh LOrd ...maybe we can lie to peopel again and pretend we are twins..or whatever we said..it was funny...hahaN E WAtys jenn..love ya..and im really excited to se you..oH..by the way..I have a permission slip all signed and ready..tell LC hahaha :-) Jillayyyy
hahaha JENNNN..i LOVE you...haha OBTAIN A PERMISSION SLIP?????well MISSYYY...let me tell you..maybe we can just transfer the trampoline permission slip over to the partying one?? do u think 174
LYD could hook it up??...i thikn she could pull it off...CREWWW.hahahaha oh lord..well yea..im coming...prob this month..sooo BEtter be on the lookout for some..feLLUZzz we cannnnnn Parttyyy it up with"
Nowhere else on Earth do young women talk like that. As you can see their words, tone, and wavelength are very airheadish and artificial. Talking to women like these is like talking to empty bags of air. But nevertheless, that‘s how women at the nightclubs and malls talk. It‘s not just American teens either, as college sorority girls also talk like this too. In order to fit into their flow you have to adopt the same tone and wavelength, otherwise there‘s something wrong with you as you are considered a nerd or something..
Mainstream typical young people in the states have NO DEPTH and NO INNER LIFE (unlike the rest of the world's youngsters which at least have some) and all they know are parties, bands, concerts, MTV, drinking/smoking pot, and clubbing. Anything beyond that seems "out of range" to them.
On the other hand, the young people in most other countries such as Europe/Russia are a different dimension. They tend to have depth, intellect, and a sense of adventure and curiosity.
Therefore, I had no trouble connecting with them. I didn't feel like some awkward misfit around them. Socializing and meeting people there was easy and natural, and not an awkward uphill battle like it is in California or Washington. It was very refreshing to discover this and realize that young people around the world are certainly NOT like in America. That‘s why people like me usually find that they have a lot more friends and a more natural social life when abroad."
National Geographic reports - Young Americans know little about the outside world
"Young Americans just don't seem to have much interest in the world outside of the U.S.," said David Rutherford, a specialist in geography education at the National Geographic Society in Washington, D.C. (National Geographic News is part of the National Geographic Society.) "The Roper poll is alarming, as it has been continuously for the past several years," said Douglas Richardson, executive director of the Association of American Geographers in Washington, D.C. The 2002 project also surveyed 18- to 24-year-olds in Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Sweden, and Great Britain. The U.S. trailed every other country in that survey, except Mexico, which did only slightly worse.
"It's discouraging that so many young Americans have so little understanding of the world," said Robert Pastor, vice president of international affairs at American University in Washington, D.C.
Even for U.S. geography, the survey results are just as dismal. Half could not find New York State on a map of the United States. A third of the respondents could not find Louisiana, and 48 percent couldn't locate Mississippi on a map of the United States, even though Hurricane Katrina put these southeastern states in the spotlight in 2005. Many young Americans also lack basic map-reading skills. Told they could escape an approaching hurricane by evacuating to the northwest, only two-thirds could indicate which way northwest is on a map. Perhaps even more worrisome is the finding that few U.S. young adults seem to care. Fewer than three in ten think it's absolutely necessary to know where countries in the news are located. Only 14 percent believe speaking another language fluently is a necessary skill. Fewer than one in five young Americans own a world map. This geographic ineptitude was further emphasized when young Americans were asked questions on how the United States fits into the wider world. Three in ten respondents put the U.S. population between one and two billion (it's just under 300 million, according the U.S. Census Bureau). Seventy-four percent said English is the most commonly spoken native language in the world (it's Mandarin Chinese). Although 73 percent knew the U.S. is the world's largest consumer of oil, nearly as many (71 percent) did not know that the U.S. is also the world's largest exporter of goods and services, when measured in terms of monetary value; half think it's China. And what about India, which features prominently in the job-outsourcing debate? Forty-seven percent of young Americans were unable to locate where their jobs may go on a map of Asia."
The following are partial excerpts from Dr Laura’s book regarding how American woman use sex as a weapon which is mostly unheard of with woman in other cultures of the world,…. “cut him off from sex because they’re annoyed about something” (Doctor Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg xiv) and she also says “the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted)”. Dr Laura further states that woman have a sense of hostility towards men regarding the issue of sex. She states:
“It is astonishing to which female society denigrates a man’s sex drive, reducing him to merely a rutting animal with no deeper context. Male sexuality is another subject that seems to elicit hostility in many woman. A stay at home mother, Jessica belongs to a number of groups, and the talk about sex is always anti male. The majority of the woman are just tired and see their husbands as selfish for “wanting some”. (Dr. Laura, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, pg 126-134)
One of Dr Laura's listeners wrote something that I think is very common with American woman’s attitudes regarding sex that is absent with most foreign woman :
"before I was married I used sex to get what I wanted. Now I have what I've always wanted, I view sex as useless. I now realize I have taken him for granted and pushed aside his emotional and psychological needs"
Differences in how foreign women treat their men when it comes to sex
"Taking care of her man has been one of the first used promotional factors with dating and marriage agencies abroad since the beginning of the international dating sites on the net. It is clear that the treatment factor is lacking here overall with the American girl. Sure you can find a great wife have a great family and stay married throughout, but as far as certain treatment goes, surely many of those guys wish there woman took care of them in more ways than one. Some examples would be sexually, many American girls are ok if their husband suffers without sex, or the sex is given on her terms only. While the Colombian girl is fine whenever or wherever. The affection part of the relationship between a Colombian girl and her man is bar none the best anywhere in the world. In fact, believe it or not a Colombian girlfriend or wife, working full time or not will be happy to give her man a massage every single night and some will do this without even her man asking her to do it. They will even do this after cooking a full meal and working the whole day. I have never seen anything even close to that with an American girl in my life, maybe a massage here and there but daily? doesn’t happen. Surely this isn’t with all Colombian girls, but many that I have been with have done this and wow, you can never get sick of affection and treatment like that."
Another issue worth mentioning that our older readers who are 38 and older need to pay strong attention to is the age sensitivity that most American women have. For example, I think we can all pretty much agree that most of the time, (though not always of course, but usually), American women 18 to 27 yrs old will generally not date a man in his 40's or above. For clear cut evidence of this age sensitivity, just visit American dating sites such as Match.com. Looking at American women profiles on dating sites, one can clearly see that these ladies’s age preferences typically will only flex 4-5 years higher than themselves when it comes to dating older men. I have a close friend who is 43 and he is constantly running into this brick wall with younger American women. Whenever he manages to have a younger woman interested in him, they quickly lose interest as soon as they discover his age. It's a constant problem for him. Compare this with foreign ladies profiles who usually advertise that they want men 10-20 years older. You older guys need to pay special attention to this difference, it's worth repeating – most foreign women actually WANT, PREFER, and DESIRE much older men! It’s 100% TRUE! The reason for this is because the woman over there are hard wired differently than American women who are mainly into youth, sex appeal, flash, and looks. Foreign women on the other hand are into family, faith, and security. Because of this diffference, foreign woman prefer men who are more "mature" and "settled" (hence much OLDER ). They want a man with enough maturity who can handle marriage and who is ready for marriage and less likely to still be chasing skirts or sewing their oats.. Such “settle down” traits are not important to American woman until they reach much older ages (such as upper 20’s to mid 30’s) when they start thinking more serioulsy about marriage. I’m only pointing this out so that older men who may be reading this will realize that while they may be "over the hill" and "undesirable" to sexy young American women, they are a prime catch in the eyes of young foreign woman.
Common false myth/objection
I’ve often hear my American friends say "those foreign girls prefer older men because they assume these men have more money at that stage in their life". This ridiculous line of thinking is nothing more than typical American stereotypes. It’s an idea that Americans perpetuate (because we Americans care so much about money and materialism ourselves, we automatically project the idea that foreigners do too). It’s an idea that suggests that poorer foreigner girls will marry just ANYONE to improve their economic situation. I have already disproved this stereotype in other parts of this site, but let me offer up this other evidence that also disproves this stereotype. Just go look at the International dating sites like cherry blossoms or Latin American Cupid. Both of these sites have a fair number of foreign women who have recently moved to the US or have only been in the USA for a limited amount of time. What you will notice is that even these foreign ladies now living in the US will still show a high age range flexibility when it comes to desired ages of their potential match. This is especially true with Filipinas as evidenced with these cherry blossoms profiles below. Notice that these ladies are HOT and could easily get a younger man is they wanted!!! One of these ladies who shows her profession as being in the "medical" field is a nurse. I know this because I chatted with her and she clearly knew the nursing field lingo. So, even though she is raking in the big $$ as a nurse, and even though she is smokin hot and can probably land any aged guy she wants, and even though she is now in America, she is still extremely flexible with the age range of her potential match. I can find a ton of examples like this. It is proof that foreign women flex on age not because they have to, or because they are desperate to escape their home country (Generally speaking, Americans are brainwashed by their media that everything outside the US is a repressed hell hole which everyone wants to escape. But there are few countries where that actually might be true!). It's simply a different mindset than us Westerners have when it comes to age differences .They simply either do not mind older men or in many cases, actually prefer men much older than themselves.
See this short video clip on why foreign women actually PREFER much older men
While we are on this subject, I want to bring up a subject that I notice many older American men are very concerned about. And that is that many men believe that a younger woman is not mature enough for a meaningful relationship. My advice is to not make the mistake of believing that a Foreign girl is as immature as her American/Western counterparts. The majority of girls in many foreign countries have been working since their mid-teens, not for the purpose of buying the latest fashions, but to contribute to their immediate family's total income. As a result, you will find that the majority of these girls are very responsible for their age. With responsibility comes maturity. You will be pleasantly surprised at a foreign girl's level of thoughtfulness, regardless of her age.
Lastly, it is truly strange how American culture is so prude about age differences. Only in the Anglo-world are age differences (i.e. 10-30 yrs) considered inappropriate.
One internet post I found made by a gentlemen who traveled to the Philippines made an interesting comment that drives home the prudish nature of the US culture.
"You are right, when going to the mall (in the Philippines), I don't feel like a creep. Women -- not all though -- smile at me when I am with this girl. There is none of this feeling of "you're a creep". In America, if a 40-year-old guy like me were holding hands with a 20-year-old in a mall, they would call security and have me investigated."
And another post by a gentleman in latin America:
"yours truly, a 40+ year old gringo, was at a large department store today in central america & just chatted with a pretty decent looking 22 year old. a few minutes later i get her number & well probly go out this weekend. Nothing weird, nothing creepy just friendly and not like the USA...if i chatted like that to a US chick working....security would of escorted me out..where "catch a predator" film crews would be waiting to bust me. f**k the US' insane sexual disfunctional culture."
Americans see "dirty old men" and pedophelia everywhere they look
Come on America! Give Brent Musburger a break!
"What's the age at which older men are no longer allowed to compliment women in their 20s on being beautiful? Is there an age when such compliments go from nice to creepy? And is there a similar rule that bars older women from calling younger men "handsome"?
We ask because of the uproar that erupted this week when 73-year-old ESPN sportscaster Brent Musburger made a slew of comments -- on air -- about the beauty of 23-year-old Katherine Webb, the reigning Miss Alabama. He did this during Monday's national championship college football game between Alabama and Notre Dame; Webb is dating Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron and was in the stands for the game.Here's what he said when the cameras focused on Webb during the broadcast: "...you see that lovely lady there? She does go to Auburn, I'll admit that, but she's also Miss Alabama, and that's A.J. McCarron's girlfriend. Wow, I'm telling ya, you quarterbacks, you get all the good-looking women. What a beautiful woman! Whoa! So if you're a youngster in Alabama, start getting the football out and throw it around the backyard with pops."And boom! Cue the controversy. People attacked Musburger as "creepy," for ogling her too much, for being a "dirty old man," for being sexist, inappropriate, and more. One publication even went so far as to claim that Musburger's comments are "evidence" of "a culture of domestic violence and sexual assault in football."
The attacks on Musburger reached such a deafening crescendo that ESPN issued a statement: "We apologize that the commentary in this instance went too far and Brent understands that". I'm glad Brent understands it, because I don't. Can someone please explain to me where Musburger went too far?
To me, it is clearly evident that Anglo culture has a hidden and latent pedophiliac tendency that people are afraid to admit. Americans see pedophelia where it doesn't exist. So, who's the pervert: the Anglo nations that freak out about such a relationship and that it's "wrong", or the nations where it's happened for thousands of years successfully, and such a thing is considered natural and healthy? The West has a twisted and prudish view of sex and relationships that most cultures do not have.
In America, dating is not really considered a serious thing, it’s done in a casual manner. We have “hook ups” as one night stands or very short lived commitment free casual sexual relationships after which we just move on from one partner to another while thinking nothing of it. However, foreign woman are programmed differently. They tend to think of dating and relationships as something serious leading to marriage. We’ve all heard the American cultural phrase "Girls just wanna have fun", right? Many woman of today want to enjoy their singles life (partying, casual sex, bar hopping, and one night stands etc) much like that of the typical mindset of men. Even Jean Twenge confirms this when she writes in her book :
"Women now approach sex similarly to the way men do. Today’s young women are not afraid to pursue sexual pleasure and are very assertive in going after what they want" (Jean Twenge Generation Me, pg 162-164)
This means they delay marriage much longer than they once used to. Of course, some woman delay marriage for other reasons such as preferring to establish their careers. Either way, both of these factors result in woman of today not having marriage and settling down much on their mind until they hit their upper 20’s and early 30’s. In addition, when you read American dating site profiles, you will notice that a large percentage (perhaps 30%-40%) of the woman’s profiles state that they are not looking for a relationship or anything serious. On the other hand, 90% of foreign woman state they are looking for a serious relationship or are marriage minded even at very young ages. Im not saying this difference is right or wrong, Im just pointing out this difference. The important result of this differential is that older men can have a very successful and happy marriage with woman as young as 20 to 30 years younger than themselves , because even very young foreign ladies are already marriage minded which matches up well with the desires of older Western men. They both are seeking the same thing in life despite such a wide spread in ages.
I want to take a moment to share a real life personal story relating to this subject. I once met an American girl for a coffee date at Starbucks. During our talk, I mentioned to her that I am at the stage of my life where I am ready for marriage and family. I was 43 yrs old at the time and she was 36. Her reply was “Steve, don’t take this in a negative way, but just a bit of helpful advice for you, I would’nt mention that with any woman you meet”. I really wasn’t too surprised to hear this because Ive always known that many American woman think this way.It’s quite sad that American woman see men who are seeking something so honorable as marriage as being desperate or creepy or undesirable. I think it just goes back to the dysfunctionality of many American woman who seem to be mainly attracted to the unavailable bad boy/jerk types while finding the normal descent nice guy types as undesirable. Our research section of this site documents Dr Laura Schlessinger talking about this “bad boy” dysfunctionality syndrome of many American woman. Foreign woman on the other hand , aboslutley LOVE to hear such a thing from a man! Fact is, the average foreign woman has no interest in the “player” or “bad boy” types. They will kick that type of man to the curb! This is a reflection of how healthy and well adjusted foreign womens’ mindset is. They simply want nothing to do with the jerk types. But many American woman seem drawn to the bad boy/jerk types like a moth to a flame. The mindset of foreign woman in this regard is just so completely different than that of the average American woman.
Below are posts I found on the inerrnet that brings home the point so well
"I think most of us will admit there's a lot of wonderful desirable western women but the best are already involved or married and the remaining few, without excessive baggage and bad attitudes are in high demand. Also, I usually took second place behind their pet, girl friends, career and, finances."
"Let's examine an example of a personal ad from a typical Kana woman 50 years old who has kept herself in reasonable shape and is still attractive.
More than likely her younger beauty allowed her to marry well and she has reaped the financial rewards of her prior marriage.
Attractive man between 45 and 55 with a great smile who loves to dance.
Must be financially secure and love to travel.
Must love pets and sports.
Must reside within a one hundred mile radius.
Must be a Protestant
Even if I met half of her demands (which I don't) I'm turned off by her spoiled and demanding attitude. Regardless, I answer her ad telling her about me as I really am with my best picture. Some respond with half hearted emails between their weekend excursions and trips abroad.
It doesn't take me long to realize that I'm fighting a really tough battle for her affections. It's obvious I'm not lighting her fire.
I refuse to settle for anymore half hearted relationships and even though I know there are some very nice women who are unattractive, I just can't get into the spirit of it.
Luckily, I find by chance an ad from a lovely foreign lady who issues little or no demands and who is a simple person like myself. She's only seeking love and marriage with a kind and decent man.
When I answer her ad she's totally enthusiastic and makes me feel like I'm the greatest guy in the world.
She has no little or no apparent animosity towards men at all.
She's totally genuine.”
"Look at ANY publication containing "personals" ads. The women want someone who looks a certain way, and who has certain "social skills" such as dancing or clever conversation, someone who is interesting and exciting and seductive. Now go to my Web page (www.filipina.com) and look at what the girls say they want. It’s all pretty simple, really. Over and over they state that they are happy to settledown FOREVER with a MAN who is willing to try to hold down a steady job and be a loving and understanding husband and father. This will get you NOWHERE with an American girl!"
"I mean, on Plenty Of Fish or OK Cupid or any of the local dating sites, I would have to send out lots of emails. I had to initiate everything. And I had to put up with alot of unattractive women as a result of lowering my standards.
Not so with sites like FilipinoCupid, DateinAsia and CherryBlossoms. I haven't tried the Russian sites but its probably the same. These girls are agressive and contact me! And they're cute too."
One thing that has been totally consistent throughout my life is the abysmal results Ive had with American internet dating sites. Despite being a decent looking man, I’ve never had any success with internet dating other than having the “undesireables” try to hit me up. LOL. The only women that ever messaged me were always overweight and often had kids in tow. As far as outbound messaging went, my experience is pretty much in line with what most men experience with internet dating in America, which is that I could message 100 descent looking woman and get maybe 1 or 2 responses. But even those few who responded would always eventually flake out on me by the 2nd or 3rd message and just dissapear. I could never figure out why this was the case. It was always a mystery to me. Then one day I decided to educate myself by digging into the facts about internet dating. What I found was astonishing! American women truly have the upper hand in internet dating in America. According to the research out there, the reason for this is that on these American dating sites, men outnumber women by an average of at least 20 percent! The ladies often complain of receiving too many messages to the degree that it overwhelms them. Ive often read about woman saying they have to cancel their profiles because they cant keep up with all the messages they get. (By the way, this is exactly what men experience on international dating sites where the tables are turned in the men’s favor). One example of this is a American woman profile I found that said the following:
“Well i just joint with this website but i was suprise coz i got almost 400 message of guys from this website thats crazy !!!! but i cant read all thats messages thats too much for me.but sound good.I'm Asian/france woman,i live in bay area.california,yes, i'm hot and sexy Asian woman”
So ya see, this causes them to be super picky, makes them develop spoiled attitudes, and get big heads. This just makes things that much harder for the men. In addition, attractive ladies don't have to use internet dating to find a mate because they have so many men chasing after them in the real world. Setting this problem aside, there are other drawbacks at hand. One of our fan mails put it best when he said:
“I tried a lot of the dating websites looking for a eligible local woman but have gotten so disgusted with most of their requirements & attitudes that I've decided to abandon that route”.
Every man I’ve talked to has told me that this is their experience also. Internet dating in America really sucks for the American male. But, there is a secret out there that many men don’t know about. If that same "average Joe" joins an international dating site, he will suddenly become overwhelmed with hundreds of replies! And what's more amazing is that many such replies will come from beautiful, highly educated, and even intellectual ladies, not necessarily poor and uneducated ladies as the American stereotypes and media would have you believe.
Simply put, on American dating sites, American women have all the choices, while on international dating sites, the tables are completely reversed and the men have all the choices! The bottom line is that dating success is all about LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
Why American men have such an incredible advantage with international dating
One needs to understand that in the overseas dating scene, there are many things that work in men's favor. For starters, as a general rule, single woman far outnumber single men. This is proven as fact by stats for Russia and most of Latin America and some parts of Asia. (Though, there are a few countries where this isnt true such as China and India). One article I found from a gentlemen who is very experienced with dating all over the world puts this into perspective. He said:
“The one thing that always gets me, is that I’ve never heard a woman in the US complain once about the tough female competition in the United States. But in Latin America, no matter what country I’ve been to, I always run into women who complain about their local dating environment.But when it comes to American women, I’ve never had one complain in my presence. ”
Besides the fact that single women (of dating age)outnumber single men in most of Latin American, Europe, former Soviet republics, and Asia (Asia -except India and china where you have a lot of female infanticide) foreign women seem to truly "NEED" men. This is the biggest difference of all. Foreign woman put off a vibe that shows they are receptive to being approached. This is a far cry from America where you usually find women unreceptive or even worse, act as if you are being a burden to them for just trying to talk to them or get to know them.
Dating Imbalances in the USA
Online Dating Insider
The Male/Female Ratio of Online Dating
“One of the facts of online dating is that there are more men than women online. For example, Match.com recently told ABC News that 59% of their subscribers are men and 41% are women. You can confirm the ratio yourself by doing searches for profiles.
The high male/female ratio of online dating is not the fault of the online dating services, but it reflects the unfortunate realities of the real world. Over a decade ago I recall reading a New York Times article that stated that there were approximately 6 single men in their twenties for every five single women.
How is this possible? Aren't there an approximately equal number of boy and girl babies born each year? The biggest contributor to the skewed ratio is serial polygamy. A man in his twenties marries a woman in her twenties, then in his thirties he divorces her and marries another woman in her twenties, then in his forties he marries another women in her twenties. This happens. I have a friend who's in his fifties and his current wife is in her twenties.
There is also parallel polygamy. A woman I know, when she was in her twenties, knew a guy who had two girlfriends at the same time (neither, of course, knew of the other one's existence). And at the same time, he was also hitting on her, trying to bring his harem up to three!
What's going on in the real world is reflected in the virtual world of online dating. In fact, it's skewed worse than in the real world, because online dating sites attract a much greater percentage of people who have trouble finding dates. So not only will there be more men, there will be more undesirable (for whatever reasons) members of both sexes.
Men who use online dating services will initially try to contact the few women they are interested in. But because the desirable women receive more emails than they can respond to, male subscribers eventually figure out that they have to send out massive numbers of emails because the response rate is so low. So we wind up in the situation we're in now. Female subscribers to online dating services receive more emails than they can respond to, and male subscribers send out large numbers of emails and rarely get a response.
(Personal note – I found many American woman profiles where woman said things very similar to this “Well i just joint with this website but i was suprise coz i got almost 400 message of guys from this website thats crazy !!!! but i cant read all thats messages thats too much for me. yes, i'm hot and sexy Asian woman”)
Women actually complain about this, but I think they are in a far better situation than men. If you are a man, how do you fix the problem? The answer is that you need to move to Manhattan. There are more single women in Manhattan than men. If you do searches in Match.com for Manhattan, you will find about 50% more female profiles than male profiles. The opposite of the ratio for the rest of the United States.
Living in Manhattan and using Match.com, I've been quite happy with how many women respond to my emails. And being a nerdy IT professional, I'm not a high priority catch for most women. They'd rather be going out with the good looking athletic men. You also get to meet women of a caliber you'd never find in Phoenix, Arizona, like graduates of Harvard and Yale law schools.“
News article confirming that women have it much easier with online dating
There is some evidence that there may be a difference on how women online rate male attractiveness as opposed to how men rate female attractiveness. The distribution of ratings given by men of female attractiveness appears to look like a standard bell curve (normal distribution), while ratings of men given by women is highly skewed with 80% of the men rated as below average. This shows women are genuinely more picky than men when it comes to online dating. It could also potentially arise from women assessing other profile characteristics besides appearance, like their occupation for example.
On the topic of bars and nightclubs, one post I found on the net describes the bar scene in America quite well:
“What is a bar/club scene in America? Bunch of wanna-be's, hot looking sluts in night clubs huddling with their female friends, not talking to "strange guys", because supposedly most of the guys around them are creepy anyways (never heard such word from a Ukrainian girl in MY LIFE!) So, the "bar scene" is complete crap only in America.”
Another person posted:
“Bars and clubs? Wow...those women are just falling down drunk, grinding on themselves...etc. You know, shitty as they were even in the 90s, clubs used to be a place to meet women; now the women just go there to get shitfaced. I almost never see men and women at clubs interracting unless they were already in a group together.”
Another post said:
Anglo societies are repressed and anti-social. I have never understood the "bar scene" where women just go to hang out with their friends and are scared shitless if a guy approaches them. I assume women go to bars and clubs to meet men. Apparently a lot of them don't! So how in God's name are men supposed to meet women in the USA?
Another post said:
“Here in the states, girls get in for free, they get preferential treatment, the girls dance with other girls and many girls. When they want to feel better about themselves, they go to night clubs with the plan in mind to harshly shoot down guys who ask them out. They say they get a huge ego boost out of it. Also, the girls dress like PROSTITUTES, but yet, they get mad when you look at them too long, or pay them too much attention. Unbelievable! Their breast are hanging out, all their legs are showing, and you can even see their sexy painted red toes through their clear high heel sandals, but yet, they have the nerve to say that any guy looking at them too long is a "weirdo". And watch out for the bouncers too, they are DUMB broke former jocks who will always take the side of the female.”
Another post said:
When girls are in groups and you talk to them, they laugh and go away talking among themselves saying "look at that needy creepy guy". When you are in the bar or a club, girls are almost always in groups and they almost never talk to you.”
Based on what I observe about American culture, most Americans seem to rely (to a significant degree) on bars and clubs as the main method to meet members of the opposite sex. But overseas, bars and clubs are not the main method that people use to meet people. One gentleman describes it accurately when he posted as follows:
“It's interesting to hear guys (like Winston WU of happier abroad.com) say that in foreign countries they were able to meet women on buses, trains, shopping malls and in stores. Now meeting women this way is not possible in America, so maybe that's why the "bar scene" is so popular in the US. When Winston traveled to eastern Europe and Russia he was able to meet women without having to walk into a bar or nightclub! How nice would that be if it were that easy here in the US! It's sad that meeting people in America is reduced to going to bars and clubs on Friday and Saturday nights and hoping that you meet somebody. The atmosphere in bars and clubs is very intimidating, the music is loud, it's crowded and the people tend to act like jerks. Gee, what a great atmosphere to meet people in.”
Another post describes what we encounter in America when you try to meet someone outside of the bar scene:
“Starbucks I thought would be a better place to meet woman...at least the girls would be sober, right? But you run into the same brick wall barrier you do everywhere else. The women don't acknowledge you, much less talk to you. Starbucks is a good example of the social isolation that Winston talks about in his articles. People sit right down next to you without saying a word or even looking your way.”
The differences in the Red light districts (US vs Abroad)
By Winston Wu of happier abroad and ammended by Steve Neese
"Most of these sex workers, bar girls, and entertainers in 3rd world countries are nice girls also looking for love. They are simply wilder and more open than average and have chosen an alternate lifestyle. And if they go with a customer that they like, they will treat it like a REAL DATE, not all business like they do in the US. They also fall in love with the guys they barfine with and get jealous if they see him with other girls, which is quite common abroad, but of course unheard of with sex workers in the US. It is not unheard of for a sex worker in the Philippines to shed tears when a customer she has spent time with comes by her bar to say his goodbyes to her. That would never happen in the US. So all the feelings in a natural type of relationship are all there. Some call it the GFE (girlfriend experience). I‘m not saying it‘s true love, but it‘s not all business either. It‘s somewhere in between. When you get to know some of these bar girls, you‘ll see that deep down they are normal sincere girls too. It‘s better to get to know them first than to just prejudge them. This is not the case in the US where the sex workers offer no feelings and its strictly COLD business not to mention the women who do this type of thing in the U.S. are actually TRULY MESSED UP and most are DYSFUNCTIONAL DRUG ADDICTS. The difference is HUGE. In essence, a sex worker in many 3rd world countries like the Philippines can actually be a NORMAL girl temporarily doing what she has to do in order to feed and clothe her children or support her elderly parents (so they dont starve) in a land where jobs are extremely scarce and even min wage jobs are hard to find. But in the US, most sex workers could find some type of job if they really wanted to, even if at minimum wage whether it be McDonalds, Burger King, Wal mart, or as a factory worker of toll booth operator etc. This is a KEY difference and why I personally don't necessarily view a sex worker in these 3rd world countries in the same light as I would the sex workers in the US who actually have CHOICES for employment or at the very least have access to public assistance programs that 3rd world countries dont offer! In other words, there is far less of an excuse for doing sex work in poorer countries than in the US. My personal opinion is that one could actually marry a sex worker in these 3rd world countries and atcually have a fair shot that the marriage would last whereas marying a sex worker in the US, your chances of a lasting marriage is near ZERO! "
“I tend to think that far too many women in America are opting for the “Girls Gone Wild Experience”. Low morals, low thoughts, and low expectations.
(Source - Anonymous internet comment)
While I do not think that the comment above applies to ALL Western women, (of course not), I do firmly believe there is certainly a grain of truth to it based on the trends that we are seeing with more and more Western women of today. Think about it for a second. How common is it today to see bachelorette parties of women with dildos and women carrying around a penis and a wedding vail with condoms in it? This is 100% unheard of in most other cultures and used to be unheard of in America until the late 1980’s onward. It just reflects poor values and lack of respect that we give to marriage in our culture today. This is how we celebrate marriage?? Really?
Obvioulsy, not ALL American women behave these ways as shown in this sample video, but FAR TOO MANY DO! Foreign women do not do this!!!!!
Video - What’s wrong with women in the US today
BBC News article explains the TRUTH behind WHY foreign woman from many parts of the world seek Western husbands.
The gender imbalances exist in most of russia, Latin America, and many parts of Asia. And as this artcile explains, Gender imablance is only but one problem these woman face. The Machismo attitudes with men in many 3rd world countries leaves little to be desired for most of these ladies.
By Damien McGuinness BBC News, Riga
See the BBC news story : Latvian man shortage leaves women lost for love
Women outnumber men by 8% in Latvia
2) See CIA FACT SHEET on man shortages in many foreign countries
See CIA Fact sheet on man shortages around the world
“She told me that her story was not uncommon. She said, "It is very difficult for women here to find a good man. We know that men can't stay with just one woman – that’s just not possible in Brazil. They don't want to be faithful to their wives and they don't care about their family. They provide no money for the home and woman has to do all the work. Most times this man will come and take what money is left – so the smart woman has to hide it. “The good man is the one who wants to be part of the family. He will bring home some of his money from his work and actually enjoys being with his wife and kids. Most women in Brazil would just hope for a good man. “Every day, when I was married, I woke up thinking about my husband. I wanted to make sure every meal was his favorite food, his house was clean, and he was happy. I would do anything for a good man and build my world around him - even now." It took me a while to fully grasp what she was saying. A thought began to grow as I related her story to myself. It slowly dawned on me, "I am a good man." I like being connected to a family. I want to have a relationship where I look forward to spending time with my wife. I am proud to be the bread-winner and financial provider for my family. I am GOLDEN here! I have been fishing in the wrong fishing hole with the wrong bait! I was trying to bring what I had to offer to a market that didn't find it valuable. I began to believe I was not very valuable. I had been trying to sell ice to Eskimos. One of the Greatest Secrets is that I am one of the most valuable commodities in the world to women in most other parts of the world! The most beautiful and exotic women in the world would find deep satisfaction to wake up each morning and pour themselves into the love of a good man. But for most of them, the love of a good man is a dream that will never come true - if she could only find one. If you are a good man who wants to be faithful to the love of a good woman, be part of her life, and be a financial provider; then you are one of the most valuable things on this planet to most every woman in the world - outside of the industrialized nations. I couldn't wait to get back to the U.S. and tell Steve about what I'd discovered. It just made sense. It resonated deeply. I had allowed women in the U.S. to define my value. Yes, I allowed that to happen, but I didn’t have a good frame of reference to help define my masculine value. I was worth a lot; but not to the group I had been dating. I cannot begin to understate the difference this understanding makes. Being a good man is gold. I'm not talking about being an arrogant or abusive man who dominates women as a power trip. I'm talking about the average American man who is the backbone of this country. He works hard, brings home his paycheck to support family, works on his house over the weekend, and enjoys vacationing with his significant other.He is faithful, and dedicated, yet often unappreciated. The good man will rarely be more valued in this world than he will in these cultures. As I continued my travels to Ukraine and Costa Rica and other parts of the world, I learned that this value of the "good man" was echoed again and again. In Eastern Europe (Russia, Ukraine and the Slavic nations), the stories may vary slightly from Latin America or the Far East, but the results are the same – the good man is gold.”
“I've heard women talk about the attitudes of men. They say, "If I'm sick, my boyfriend will just say, 'call me when you're better' and I better not call him until I am. That's just the way it is." Another woman told me that women always have to stay beautiful or their man will just move on. You will rarely ever see an overweight woman in these parts of the world. They have a saying among women, "A woman must always be beautiful; a man only has to be better looking than a monkey." Do you think you'll ever hear those words spoken in the U.S.? And, here’s the best part, the sex is focused on pleasing the man so they can keep him. I just tell you all of these things so you will realize the value you bring to the table. We’ll bring this into better perspective when we talk about masculinity and femininity from different cultural perspectives.”
“Another painful fallout from masculinity gone wrong is domestic abuse. The overblown male machismo culture of domination and physical abuse is considered common – and rarely punished.”
“Take your money? They aren't interested in your money – they want your heart. We just covered this, but I'll say it again: why would they want to live outside of their hometown? They wouldn't if they could find love there.”
“Apparently, many of these men seem to find little motivation to bring their paychecks home – even when they have a monogamous relationship and children. The common story seems to be that the women work so the family has money.What is the consequence for this lifestyle? According to CIA world statistics, the average life expectancy for men is 59 in Russia, 62 in Ukraine, and 65 in Colombia.Alcohol is a major contributing factor to these shortened life spans”
“ WESTERN MEN - At first glance, those men make us look like heroes by contrast. American men want to be connected with their families. We participate in our wives pregnancies and delivery. We change diapers and teach our kids to play baseball. We take our wives on dates and plan our vacations as family events. We want to be faithful to our wives, because that is what good husbands do. To have an affair also means we failed in our marriages somehow. We desire closeness and intimacy with our women. These are good and noble aspirations. Our families come first and we bring home our entire paychecks to support our family. We don’t abuse our spouses or children. And we lavish upon them the highest standard of living in the modern age.”
“It is very competitive for one of these women to find a good man. Therefore, when they do have a man in their lives, they will focus on pleasing him – and their pleasure is in making him happy. In this competitive environment they often become skilled in seduction and sensuality within the relationship. They work hard to keep him focused on her so he has no reason to look around. I still find it cute that my gorgeous younger wife watches out for other women who might be looking at me!”
“Don’t underestimate these women. The only thing missing from their lives, as they see it, is romantic attention. Otherwise, they are generally satisfied with their lives. They don’t need you to save them and take them away from a horrible life of poverty. That is not the way they view their world and would be insulted if you were to suggest such a thing.”
What American men need to realize is that contrary to American cultural beliefs and stereotypes, most foreign women are not desperate to leave their country. Yes, foreigners (mainly men) do come to America to find work, but not because they love the United States and want to live here. They come simply to earn a higher wage. Ask most foreigners what they think of the United States and they will probably all tell you that they prefer to live in their home country and only stay in the United States because of availability of work and good paying jobs.
This idea that everyone wants to come to the US is perpetrated by American cultural stereotypes. It comes from the same ole narcissitic belief that Americans have that America is the greatest place on earth while the rest of the world is downtrodden and oppressed. I understand patriotism and that’s all fine and dandy, but this kind of arrogance and naivity that most Americans have about thinking the whole world admires us and wants to come here is rather naive. I do understand why people think this way as our media is very powerful and brainwahses us into thinking this way but nothing could be farther form the truth.
Regarding the risk factor, there are good and bad foreign women in international dating just as there are good and bad woman in the USA. That's life, and is true anywhere.
Internet Post I found that puts it best!
“The media almost always shows other countries as backward shitholes whose inhabitants' only dream is to go to the US and be Americans. This fills Americans with smug and bloated pride and makes them look down on other cultures and nationalities. And that goes for the most/ overwhelming majority/ of the US population. Plus most have never been abroad except to Mexico. The media scares us with stories of violence and poverty in the world (funny how the US is racing to the bottom - its just behind Mexico with kidnappings and violence).”
Fact is that many of these foreign women are educated, cultured, and have professional careers. Many live in beautiful countries, eat well, and are healthy. They don’t want your stupid green card. So you ask, why would a Foreign lady want an American man? Well, the answer to this is multi faceted. For starters, Asian and Latin cultures teach men that infidelity is a normal part of manhood, and that it is an unwritten right in these cultures for men to have affairs. In addition, the male/female gender imbalances greatly favor the men, so the men have the upper hand and can get away with having mistresses and girlfriends on the side. One of the most important gifts you can offer a womanis your fidelity - something that is not so common in a foreign lady’s country. American men have a solid reputation around the world as being faithful and as good husbands. THAT is why they like us, not because of money or green cards.
Most foreign woman simply dream of having a good husband and family. Due to a severe man shortage in many of these countries, there are millions of women who simply do not have a chance at finding husbands with whom they can raise a family with. This is the biggest challenge many foreign ladies face because of the male/female ratio working against them in their home countries. Put yourself in their position for a second and think about what you would do. It’s not an easy decision for most foreign women to consider living in a strange country. They are far more close and connected to their families than we are. Since many of them do not want to live in another country, a man would need to be pretty special in their eyes for them to even consider moving.
On top of that, the quality of men available in their own countries often leaves little to be desired. Many men in these ladies' countries are womanizers and regularly cheat on their wives and girlfriends. Just ask any foreign woman from Asia, russia, or Latino culture about this. Ask them why they want a foreign husband and 99% of the time they will complain about how their local men cheat all the time. American men, on the other hand, have a solid reputation around the world as being good husbands who generally do not cheat on or mistreat their woman. This is the perception foreign women have of American men and is what drives so many to look for a Western husband. As quoted by the United States Immigration Services Study to Congress on International Marriages:
USCIS Report to Congress
“Why do foreign women wantAmerican husbands? Many sources suggest that these women are searching for a "better life" in terms of socio-economic factors--they do, for the most part, come from places in which jobs and educational opportunities for women are scarce and wages are low. However, when the women themselves are asked this question, the answer generally indicates an attraction to American men(they look like movie stars) and an aversion to native men. Americans, they say, make good husbands while Filipino (Thai/Indonesian/Russian/etc.) men do not. Americans are thought to be faithful to their wives, while the native men are cruel and run around with other women. True or not, this is the perception.” (Source : US immigration and naturalization service report to congress)
In addition, their local men are often boozing it up (i.e. especially in Russia), and are chain smokers, irresponsible, and verbally and physically abusive. Look up abuse rates around the world and you will soon see that men of Western countries are the least abusive men in the world.
1) Most of the Filipinas I’ve met or dated here prefer that their boyfriend or husband stay with them in THEIR country. After all, family is everything to them, and so they prefer to remain close to their immediate and extended family. But if their lover insists, they will try to go overseas. That right there DEBUNKS this common misconception. Besides, it is an American myth that most people in other countries want to come to the US. The well traveled know that is not so.
2) “Now, think about this. If it were all about money or a green card, then why aren’t poor foreign men seeking out American women the way that poor foreign women are? And why aren’t there websites or matchmaking agencies out there for foreign men seeking American women? It’s because there isn’t a market for it. Very few foreign men would want an American woman, even to get into the US. These men want feminine women, and the denial of their femininity as well as their selfish attitude is a huge turn off to foreign men. Some guys see everything in terms of money and economics. In reality, human beings are very complex, and don’t fit into overly simplistic pet theories like “She just wants you for money”. So these one shot labels put together by shallow know-it-all people to try to explain other people just don’t hold.”
“They have lives that are normal to them there. They probably have four generations of family in their hometown. They have friends that they connect with. They may enjoy dancing and spending time with peers in their hometown. They may be working on a university degree program and leaving would cause problems. So what is their motivation to connect with a foreign man and even consider leaving their homes? I'll say it again and again. They are starved for romance and genuine attention. Here is a universal truth of all women – foreign or domestic: If a woman falls deeply in love with the man of her dreams she’ll do anything to make that dream come true – including leaving home and country. Another motivation may be that they are also tired of having to be the only income provider. They would gladly live a happy and full life with a good man from their home town if they could find him."
Again, they define a good man as someone who :
1)pays attention to them
2)provides romantic attention;
3)agrees to bring his paycheck home to contribute to the family;
4)who won’t cheat on them;
5)doesn’t get drunk on a regular basis;
6)who would not harm them.”
These values are basic to us here in the United States, but seem to be difficult for many foreign men to live up to. That is what makes you, the American man so golden to them!”
While it is true that many foreigners want to come to America for a better job, we shouldn’t assume that ALL foreigners want to leave their home country. Many are doing just fine where they are and are quite happy and content, even if poor. Most foreign woman will only leave their home, family and country for the purpose of finding a good man for love and marriage and starting their own family. Such a thing is far more important to them than money ever will be. It is our own American insecurities that make us believe every foreign bride is only after money or a green card. To believe this is to fall victim to the American media machine and miss out on a potential great oppurtunity.
by Mark Davis or European Dream Connections
Decent and well-off American men are generally viewed as the "cream of the crop" - highly coveted and desirable.... These gentlemen enjoy a great reputation among foreign ladies who perceive them to be respectful, nurturing, responsible, well-educated and financially secure. In addition, these women believe that American men make great husbands, especially in contrast to native men, who are often disrespectful, abusive and unfaithful.
The problem in this country is that the "best in the world" are often paired up with the "worst in the world".... a complete mismatch. It's like a highschool Prom King dating an ugly, domineering and boorish girl. It's very unlikely that this type of relationship will work out. Sadly, this seems to be the case, as the marriages "made in America" have a higher divorce rate (55 to 60 percent) than in the cross-cultural marriages (15 to 20 percent). So why is the risk of divorce so much lower when an American gentleman marries a "mail-order bride"? In a nutshell, it's because our Prom King is marrying a Prom Queen, who is beautiful, intelligent, feminine, appreciative and devoted.
A growing number of affluent American men are going overseas to embrace loverly, young foreign brides. A nearly fourfold increase in foreign women entering the U.S. on fiance(e) visas (over the last 7 years) supports this contention. It's no secret that by pursuing foreign women, men can find much younger, more attractive and devoted partners than what's available at home.
One gentlemen made an intersting comment on this topic:
"No where else in the world will you find overweight chicks wearing sweat pants and tennis shoes who nevertheless think they are entitled to a good looking guy with a high paying job who will do everything she says".
“That’s why I truly believe that there appears to be a perfect – and natural fit – between the good masculine men in America and these wonderful foreign women. It’s like a match made in heaven. If I were to boil this all down to a simple idea it would be this: If you are going to pour your heart into the love of a woman – you just want to know that she is going to pour that much energy back into loving you. As my friend Steve summarized it, “Mark, I just want you to find a woman who will match your efforts”. Most of these foreign women are willing to pour their lives into the love of a good man– and they want to find someone who will pour themselves back into loving her. What I have found is that the energy between the Golden Man and his foreign wife is growing and dynamic. Their love and willingness to give to each other creates an ongoing momentum that continues to feed both. They feel more in love as time goes by.”
An absolute must read!! By Winston Wu of Happier Abroad : http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page94.html
Some great internet quotes that sum up the uniqueness of the Filipinas
“The typical filipina understands what it is like to be hungry and to do without. She knows how to adapt and to adjust. She has a perspective that is not held by western cultures. She is much less materialistic and more tolerant and more patient. She has much better manners then women from most other cultures. She understands the value of family and community. She appreciates the small things in life and she understands people. She understands the roles that men and women should play in a marriage. She has extraordinary interpersonal skills and communicates well - even though she is usually very shy and reserved in public. And she has a high level of morality, honesty and integrity. These characteristic are all a product of her environment and her culture and they make her very attractive to most men.”
One could write an essay over one hundred pages long about the benefits of having a Filipina girlfriend. Most men appeciate the care, the devotion to family, as well as general sexiness of Filipinas as the main reasons for choosing one. Also, many of them have been severely hurt from a previous relationship with a Westernized lady, and are determined to find someone who will never hurt them again.
For me, the best thing about having a Filipina girlfriend is that I am able to show love, care, and affection and be accepted and loved in return. Growing up, I was constantly told that I need to "man up" and "be more aggressive." In Western culture, men are taught to get what they want by fighting for it. You need to stomp on someone else's head so they won't stomp on your head. I was told that I was not aggressive enough, and that I needed to be a jerk to women. Men told me that I needed to treat my girlfriend like she was a dog and make her beg for a treat. I needed to be the prize.
For a while I actually (regretably) believed that crap. But I quickly realized the nonsense for what it was. My heart changed, and then I met Mahal. I know I can be sweet and caring, and not have to worry about her treating me like a doormat. Westernized women often think that being nice means being weak. In Filipina culture, being nice is returned with kindness, and perhaps a bit of sex too.
When I am with Mahal, I feel like I can be myself. I don't have to walk around all "macho" (whatever that is supposed to mean). I can share my weaknesses, and we can laugh at each other in a supporting way. I have finally realized that it really isn't me that is wrong; for so long I had been with mentally ill people who viewed prosocial people as a weakness. You can't blame a Palm Tree for not growing in Alaska.
For the first time in my life, I have felt unconditional love and acceptance being with Mahal.
To be with someone who values me so much brings out the best in me. I want to be the best lover, the best husband, the best father, and the best servant in her church. I don't have to fear that my efforts will be replied with insult. I can serve her, cuddle her, listen to her, and support her, and not fear rejection. She is the best lady, so I want to be the best lover I possibly can be for her.
I wish all men still looking for their Filipina love lots of good luck !!
The USCIS report said the following:
“David Jedlicka (1988, cited in Glodava and Onizuka, 1994) surveyed 607 American men seeking mail-order brides and received 206 responses. He found that the men were generally white (94 percent); highly educated (50 percent with two or more years of college, 6 percent with M.D.'s or Ph.D.'s, only five did not complete high school); politically and ideologically conservative; and generally economically and professionally successful (64 percent earned more than $20,000 a year; 42 were in professional or managerial positions). Their median age was 37.”
So, not a bad crowd to be associated with huh? Perhaps it would only make sense that the more educated/intelligent of us are the ones who would be more likely to discover what other parts of the world have to offer. Well, hopefully with more sites like ours spreading the word, more and more of us average Joes can discover this dating secret too.
“Woman in lower tier countries believe in the idea that marriage is for life. When problems do arise, as happens in all relationships, unlike the Upper Tier countries where woman say “Divorce him, girl—get your half”, the loyal, loving Lower Tier women will do anything to keep their families united.” (www.globaldatingrevolution.com). This is the general difference between American and most Non Western cultures regarding marriage/family values.
According to a USCIS report to congress conducted by Robert J. Scholes, PhD with the assistance of Anchalee Phataralaoha, MA :
“It is interesting to note that, based largely on data provided by the agencies themselves (along with the Commission on Filipinos Overseas report cited above), marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” (Source : US immigration and naturalization service report to congress)
It is a well documented fact that the divorce rate in America is 50-60%. The USCIS report as just quoted above tells us that the divorce rate when American men marry a foreign woman is only 20%.
As documented in our Research Section , studies show that most of the time when women divorce, it's not due to abusive behaviors by their husbands as many people would presume. One study quotes these women as saying, "I've outgrown him" or "I don’t need him". (See study : Why do American women initiate divorce? ). Given how feminism has taught American women to not need men, this shouldn’t be surprising. Our American culture gives us the message that if you don't like something about who you are dating, instead of making an effort to work on it, just dump them as they are easily replaceable. And that casual attitude carries through into marriage also. Women in particular are told by our culture that they must fulfill themselves completely, and if a man gets in the way of that (or if they even THINK he gets in the way) he should be dumped, regardless of the status of the relationship, regardless of the children. On a personal note, I have a friend who just talked to his x girlfriend the other day. She is now married with two kids. She was telling him that she no longer has sexual attraction to her husband and isnt happy with her marriage. As usually is the case with so many American woman, her story bears out that it’s not because of anything he did bad to her such as drinking or being abusive. She just suddenly decided she doesn’t love him anymore cause she’s lost that lovin feelin. In other words, the only thing that matters is her own self fulfillment. When my friend suggested marriage counseling to her, she became quite irritated at him and said “David, look, my family just wants me to be happy!”. So ya see, with so many American woman, (disclosure –not all, but generally speaking) its all about the self and getting ones own needs met. Forget about one’s vows and commitment to the institution of marriage. Forget about the idea that there are some things greater than the self. Forget about trying to make an effort to make the marriage work. As stated by Dr Laura Schlessinger and Jean twenge, with many woman in America today, such ideals go by the wayside. Lets not forget that almost 70% of divorces in America are initiated by woman. What else explains that statistical fact?
On the other hand, foreign woman have a commitment to marriage that most western women simply do not have. Marry a foreign woman and there's a much greater chance that she'll actually take her wedding vows seriously . For one thing , her culture and her family don't take the concept of divorce lightly. Secondly, they will often stay in a marriage, even if they feel it is less than ideal. They do so for the benefit of the family and due to their belief in the institution of marriage itself. This requires an emotional and spiritual maturity that many (not all) American woman simply don’t have anymore. (You have to look way back to the 50’s for those kind of values).
"The study also found that Asian-Americans are "more satisfied than the general public with their lives, finances and the direction of the country, and they place a greater value on marriage, parenthood, hard work and career success." Source : Yahoo news article Asian Americans place greater value on marriage and parenthood
This news article above is just more PROOF that foreigners value marriage and family more than Americans do, hence the reason why the divorce rate is so much lower at 20% when you marry them vs 50-60% when you marry an American.
I’ll take a moment to share a real life story on this subject. My office mate and I were having a discussion about this topic and one of our co workers overheard us and put his 2 cents into the conversation. This co worker was from Costa Rica and only been in America for 8 years. He said to us “Guys, woman from my country will stay with you until your last breath! A costa Rican woman will never leave you, no matter how broke you are. She will die with you”. Quite a statement from an outsider’s view on his observation on the differences in the “marriage is forever” addage and dedication between foreign woman and American woman.
There is a old fable that describes my point on this subject the best (my point about the factual statistic that American woman initiate divorce 70% of the time). It’s called the The Scorpion and the Frog . See the link in wikapedia on this old American fable (Source: Wikipedia The scorpion and the frog). It is a fable about a scorpion asking a frog to carry him across a river. The frog is afraid of being stung during the trip, but the scorpion argues that if it stung the frog, the scorpion himself would drown too. This would be similar to how many american woman claim that they don’t believe in divorce and how horrible of a thing it would be. As the fable goes, the frog agrees with this line of thought and so he feels safe to go ahead and carry the scorpion across. But midway across the river the scorpion stings the frog dooming them both! As they are sinking to their deaths, the frog asks the scorpion why he did it. The scorpion responds “it’s my nature”. This fable is used to illustrate the fact that the behaviour of some creatures is irrepressible. And this is my point in all this. Ya see, the way that feminism has affected American woman is irrepressible. This story relates to the fact that no matter how much you think your American woman is not the type who would easily see divorce you (after all, we all believe we are marrying someone who wouldn’t do such a thing, right?), one has to recognize the culture she comes from. America is a divorce prone and divorce accepting culture, particularly the women who , statistically speaking, are the initiators of divorce almost 70% of the time. For proof on how so many women in America cannot help themselves, see this section of my website written by a female expert who has studied the relationship behavior and patterns of women in the US for over 10 years and wrote a book on it, see Michelle Langley on Women's Infidelity . But women of most other non Western cultures are not like this! Foreign women have not been raised in feminist cultures and female narcissism hasn't taken hold with women of other cultures. The research also shows that if you marry a woman who ascribes to feminism’s values, (which is most American woman as most have been raised in our feministic society) , the odds of divorce go up! The research specifically states, “There is evidence that woman with traditional sex role attitudes are indeed less likely to divorce than those with feminists attitudes” (The American Paradox pg 45-46)
If you are unfortunate to fall into that minority of 20% who end up divorced after marrying a foreign lady, you will likely find that they do not typically behave vindictfully or seek revenge. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with any woman expecting child support or alimony. However, what is really interesting is how common it is for foreign woman to not pursue court action to force alimony or child support. Anyone who has been around Asian or Latin woman can attest to this observation. When it comes to Alimony, they will often say “I don’t need his money”. Many will say “Im not going to ask him for one dollar, that’s the way Im going to help him realize what kind of special person he had lost”. What a DIFFERENCE in attitude!! I find such an attitude refreshing. The foreign woman’s psyche is just so totally different than the American woman’s psyche. Ive dated foreign ladies all my life and countless times Ive witnessed that they really don’t like to pursue legal actions through the courts which I really have always respected and admired about them. As long as the father of their child is contributing and sincerely making an effort, they allow him to contribute whatever he can whenever he can. There’s no vindictfulness of trying to “stick it” to him, which in American divorces, is more common than not. I find it very common to see a spiteful and vindictful attitude by American woman towards their X husbands, and even worse, this often includes the woman trying to prevent her x husband from seeing his children even when he is paying his child support!
Again, I’ll be the first to say that a woman should be able to pursue legal action if the X husband is a total flake and not even trying to own up to his responsibilities. Sometimes legal action is absolutely necessary. But my point is that foreign woman are understanding as long as the guy is genuinley trying to pay and is making an effort. Even then, when the guy is a total flake, they still don’t take legal action because their sense of “I don’t need his money” is so pervasive with them. Its just a different mindset.
To prove this isnt just my own personal opinion, see this quote below by an Asian American woman posting at plentyoffish.com dating site message board about this mentality.
“And let me tell this to you if we no longer love a man we tell it to his face, we are that gutsy and we can support our self and our children,we don't need his spouse or child support "for he is dead".. This is the mentality of An Asian women whom you American women thinks are submissive”
The fact that leading American researchers attest to all this should be a big wake up call to Americans, both men and women. The material presented here along with supporting expert opinions explains the reason for the sharp uptick in the number of American men going overseas for love and marriage. Just like the smart money is exiting the country right now towards foreign investments, the smart “nice guys” are going abroad for foreign women. Marriage between foreign women and American men is at an all time high, and growing each year. More and more men are saying "enough is enough", and realizing that they have OTHER OPTIONS, realistically BETTER options! In fact, the Tahirih Justice Center, a feminist nonprofit organization in Falls Church, VA, who keeps abreast of international marriage statistics, has even admitted as such when they were quoted as saying, "The number of international marriages in the U.S. has more than doubled between 1999 and 2007." This number had also doubled between 1990 ad 2000! So it seems to be doubling every 8 years. In addition, the daily morning talk show on NBC, Good Morning America, ran a special on men who are going overseas for love and marriage and stated the same statistic - that the number of men who have gone overseas for love and marriage has doubled in the last 8 years. I wouldn't be surprised if this figure doubled again by 2015! Unfortunately, today's young American women don't realize that their unrealistic expectations (both materially and in entitlement attitudes) are pricing themselves out of the market. This wave of men going overseas will continue to explode because word of mouth from such sites as this one are helping men wake up to what foreign women have to offer. This is why educating yourself about your options is so critical. The more men who educate themselves about the differences between foreign and American woman, the more they will opt for a foreign women for love and marriage. Not only is going overseas a viable option, the overwhelming evidence shows it to actually be a more successful and better option for relationship success!
A post at plentyoffish.com dating site message board
"Funny thing is, I look at friends on F@cebook and a lot of buds who are married to the domestic variety of women don't look all that happy while the ones with Latin and Asian wives have a huge smile or grin on their face. I think a lot of us men want women who will cooperate (work together) instead of compete with us. I personally find foreign women to be quite feminine. I wish I could say the same for American women in general, but I can't”
A post at the happier abroad message board
"Went to the mall with my wife this weekend to pick up the wedding gift for Dave We and his wife who are getting married next weekend. Couldn't help but notice the unusually high number of white caucasian men with ladies of all different skin colors and I was proud! Moral of the story is that there is more than one way to peel a banana. If the single white ladies want to elevate their demands to unobtainable levels thus avoiding the Average Joe, then we look elsewhere for love. It's just that simple."
However, by no means are we suggesting that ALL foreign women are perfect and that you are guaranteed marital bliss if you marry a foreign woman. We are simply discussing this matter in terms of generalities , not in absolutes.
Source – Pew Research Barely half of Americans are married
Interesting enough, the only demographic that is bucking this trend are marriages of American men to foreign woman which continues to set new records every year. In fact, it is doubling every 8-10 years!!
Main lesson in all of this ….. don’t let anyone tell you that your lack of success in the American dating scene is your fault or that YOU need to work on yourself. Generally speaking, the problem with a man’s lack of dating success in America is most often (not always of course) a result of the dating pool we have here in the US.. Both Dr Laura Schlessinger and Jean Twenge are quoted many times over as saying that as a general rule, (not in all cases of course), that American woman tend to have impossible dating standards which makes them too finicky and choosy and hard to please. We live in a divorce prone culture that encourages divorce, with the research showing woman being the instigators of divorce 70% of the time (and not due to abuse reasons). With few exceptions, foreign woman are simply more genuine, down to earth, authentic, and easier to please, and will basically accept you for who you are as long as you are simply a “good man”. It’s simply not that easy with American woman. One gentleman put it best when he said the following about foreign woman:
“We opt for Women Overseas because most women would accept you for who you are, not what you do. I have YET to be asked what I did for a job by any Foreign Women. If so, its hidden under "What are you doing?" or "Where are you right now?". I'd say I'm on work and that's as FAR AS IT WENT.”
You will find that foreign woman are excited about being with a man; they love men for who they are, especially American men, who (typically) are more romantic than their own. This simple fact is what myself and most men who have travelled and dated abroad have discovered. The fact is, your dating environment matters more then anything else when it comes to success with women. PERIOD! If you lack success in finding what you are looking for, its because of your LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!!! One comment I have heard said by many men who found a foreign wife is:
“Had I not gone online and found her, there is little doubt in my mind that I would still be single and lonely.”
I believe this statement is very true for many single American men in their mid 30’s on up. The dating dynamics for men of older age in America works against them in a big way. If you continue to do nothing, it’s likely that nothing will change. Our advice is to take action and dip your toes into the international dating waters and see what may happen. The odds are that you will be pleasantly surprised.
by Winston WU of happier abroad
"In America, women are so precious and sought after, that they always have the upper hand. They call out all the shots, have all the options, and can treat men like crap if they want to. They have no need to fall in love even or invest their emotions into someone to have a relationship. So when a man loses a woman in America, it is very hard to replace her. Thus, men are scared to death of losing their woman, becoming overly possessive. And if they lose her, then they can get psycho. All this of course contributes to the negative image of men that American women seek to validate. When men in the US lose their partners or mates, they often feel like theyve lost the world. And if they try to win her back like a real man, then they are deemed creeps or stalkers. But in most other countries, men have actual CHOICES among great women. The deck is stacked in your favor rather than in the womens like it is in the US. The surplus of women over men in such countries as Ukraine, Philippines, etc. ensures that the law of supply and demand will be in your favor. You can meet so many women that statistically, there will ALWAYS be some who maintain an interest in you. Thus, if you break up with one of them, you quickly recover because its no big deal and your ego is not as vulnerable as it is in the US. Therefore, getting rejected there isnt as damaging to your ego, because there are always plenty of other beautiful friendly women you know there who will replace those that you lose. Hence, such losses are quickly forgotten. When you are able to have the attitude that you have nothing to lose, you are no longer desperate anymore. And thats the beauty of the world beyond the US Matrix! Also, you dont feel alienated and lonely in the first place, because the environment isnt isolating. Men who have experienced this will tell you that its something you have to experience for yourself to understand, for words are not enough.
For example, this poster on my Forum described how he cured his anxiety around women, which mental health professionals in the US couldnt treat, by simply going abroad:
"I was very nervous around women, I found it nearly impossible to engage a woman in a conversation. I was convinced that was the reason I couldn't get dates. I was angry at myself for not being able to overcome this, but trying harder only made it worse. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and went to a doctor and was prescribed anti-anxiety medications but they didn't really help. This problem came to an unexpected halt when I traveled to Asia and within a week I learned that I am really only abnormally nervous around
American women. When I thought about it, this actually made perfect sense. When I'm in a country like Thailand or the Philippines, I know that I am desirable to the women there (I get reassured of that everyday). So even if I get turned down by a woman, she probably has a good reason to say no, and she will be flattered rather than act like I'm some creep. When I'm overseas, I don't subconsciously feel like I'm doing something wrong by flirting with a woman. What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an entirely different species than western women. If I had been told 2 years ago that my love shyness/social anxiety with women could be solved simply by changing the type of women that I was pursuing, I probably wouldn't have believed it. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully understand"
I wish to end this introduction by making a comparison that best describes the impact of discovering foreign woman and foreign cultures has had on me on a personal level. I’ll explain this comparison shortly but first let me say a few things. First of all, when seeing the family values and character of most foreign cultures, it really does become quite easy to understand why foreign woman turn out to be so genuine, authentic, mature, down to earth, natural, and psychologically well adjusted. My experience traveling abroad and dating foreign woman was nothing short of a spiritual type of awakening , a form of intellectual enlightenment for me.
As many of you may have already seen, our research section of this site is full of quotes and research from American experts who have shown us how souless and plastic American culture has become. Whether we wish to admit it or not,we are a miserable and depressed lot of people mostly focused on materialism and the buying of “things” for happiness. Of course many of you reading this will be shocked to hear of such an opinion and think I am just being negative. But the professionals and their research studies clearly state this as fact. (See our research section for proof!).
As Jean Twenge says “A fish doesn’t know its in water”. She says this in her book to describe the fact that most Americans don’t recognize that this has happened to our culture. 99% of us have never experienced cultures outside of America excpet for stupid touristy places like cancun. For example, the title of a book written by the well respected social psychologist Dr Meyers put it best when he titled his book…..A spiritual hunger in a land of plenty”.
He further states the following about America :
“Never has a culture experienced such physical comfort combined with such psychological misery. These are the best of times materially, but not the best of times for the human spirit.” (The American Paradox, pg 138)
He further states:
“Americans excel at making a living but often fail at making a life ”. (The American Paradox, pg 138)
In addition, social psychologists John DeGraaf, David Wann, and Thomas Naylor, write in their book “Affluenza” the following:
“Unfortunately, our industrial life is dominated by the materialistic spirit of production [affluenza], giving little attention to the development of the human body, the human mind, or the spirit of life” (Affluenza, pg 141)
The daily bombardment of advertising images leaves us forever dissatisfied with our own appearance and that of our real life partners. Advertising encourages us to meet nonmaterial needs through material ends. It tells us to buy their product because “we’ll be loved, we’ll be accepted”. And also it tells us that we are not lovable and acceptable without buying their product. To be lovable and acceptable is to have the right image. Authenticity be dammed. (Affluenza, pg 157)
This is spot on!! After traveling abroad, it became extremely clear to me that American culture lacks authenticy. Generally speaking, much of our society is plastic. We focus mostly focused on flash, image and material things. There is little substance to the American lifestyle. Ask any well traveled American who has experienced life amongst people of other cultures (other than going to artificial environments such as tourist traps!).
So, getting back to the comparison I mentioned earlier, …the comparison I speak of is with the movie “Dances with Wolves”. Some may wonder how in the world can that movie relate to my experience of discovering foreign woman and foreign cultures? Well, the movie Dances with Wolves fits my scenario perfectly. It is about a lieutenant in the US ARMY who chooses to accept a post located at the edge of civilization so he can see the unsettled West before it dissapears. In doing so , he unexpectedly finds himself assimilating into the culture of the Sioux Indians who were at the time considered as inferior people. (This is not unlike today where Americans tend to view everything outside of our borders as inferior and less). As the story line goes, through this journey, he reaches a form of self actualization on a spiritual and soulful level that he never experienced before. It was after this transformation that the Natives renamed him “Dances with Wolves” to reflect his new essence as a human being. Basically, the film portrays his character as going from a life of meaninglessness, hopelessness, emptiness, and despair to a new life of hope and self actualization. He was reborn. He became “one” with life and nature. In the movie, Ten bears (the tribes spiritual shaymen) comments to Lieutenant Dunbar about his new path when he says, “I was just thinking that of all the trails in this life, there are some that matter most. It is the trail of a true human being. I think you are on this trail, and it is good to see.”, I feel that what I discovered abroad with the way other cultures live their lives, so genuinely, with such strong family values, and with such a lack of artificialness, plasticness, and materialism to them, it has changed me in a similar way. It set me on soulful and spiritual path that I never could have experienced had I not escaped the shallow and souless Ameircan culture where one’s career and “material things” are a measure of a man,..where the competitive vibe in this society is such that someone has to lose in order for someone to win. Whether we Americans like to admit this or not, it is true. The research section proves this with many expert quotes talking about this American “competitive” vibe along with our worship of material things and our focus on “consumerism” for happiness.
A value of a person is not measured based on their economic function or their accumulated wealth (i.e. The ole keeping up with the Jones’.) I believe that other (non Western) cultures are far closer to being on this ‘true path of a human being’ than American culture ever will be. And to marry someone who has grown up all their life in a culture that is on this spiritually healthy path is a very good thing as this person is more mature, more emotionally balanced, and has a healthier disposition and solid foundation for building a successful relationship. Most Americans I know (even those who don’t ascribe to the message of this site) readily admit to the fact that foreigners have FAR better family values.
Overseas, I saw how human beings are meant to live! Families are extremely close and will go to great lengths to sacrifice for each other. (Definitley not a trait of the Average American family, only some, most likely country folk). People abroad are refreshingly humble, grateful, and appreciative of whatever you do for them. Woman in America on the other hand tend to just “expect” and “demand” to be treated a certain way, which shows on their dating profiles when they say “Must know how to treat a lady”. And foreigners are genuine and authentic, not shallow and plastic like here in the US. They seem to believe in ideas that are greater than the self (i.e. Marriage).
As the top American experts are telling us, we Americans are becoming more and more of a shallow and souless people. Most scholars agree that we are a nation in decline. And while most people immediatley presume they are talking about economics, I would go so far as to say that our decline is more of a Spiritual and moral decline than it is an economic one.
In her book, Social Psychologist Jean Twenge says the following statement about American culture:
“It (America) looks like an upside down bird’s nest: a hollow vessel with an empty interior and a rotting structure ”(The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 277)
Once again, back to my story. Later in the movie ‘Dances with Wolves’, the main character John Dunabr writes a sentence in his diary that matches what I felt like when I was among foreigners of 3rd world countries. “They were a people so eager to laugh, so devoted to family, so dedicated to each other. The only word that comes to mind is harmony.” In this regard, I recall while traveling to the poorest provinces of the Philipinnes, I saw people who had absolutely nothing materially, but their souls and spirit seemed to be in perfect harmony with life and those around them. They were so much more happier than most Americans I see today. They are content singing their karoake and having the simple things in life. But what they have that we Americans lack is true human connectedness. Having a cultural bond and connectedness with others around you (Im not just talking with friends and family, I mean feeling a general connection amongst the people in a culture), fills the soul with the nourishment that humans need to be happy and content in life. Dr Jean Twenge talks about this American tendency of isloation and lonliness due to the ferver in which we embrace individualism and going it alone in life.
Jean Twenge clearly sees how unhappy and disgruntled most Americans tend to be. In her book she says:
“The individualist ethos of America also explains a lot of negative trends that we see around us every day. A trip to the grocery store, as just one example, often involves aggressive drivers, sullen clerks, and screaming children.” (Generation Me, pg 102)
I found foreigners to be so close to one another and so well socially connected to their families, neighbors, and those around them. Overseas, absent is the vibe that “everyone is expected to mind their own business” type vibe that is so common in American culture today. In addition, there is no compeitive vibe where people are divided into winners and losers based on what you do for a living or what you own. In America, one is never truly accepted for the way they are. Instead one has to constantly prove their worth under never ending constant pressure which leads to fragmentation and disconnectedness. Americans used to be spiritual, soulful, and happy once upon a time long ago (Think of the 50’s and prior). Freindships used to be genuine and people found time to help each other. We once had community and people could rely on each other in time of need. Now, as our research section shows, and as Jean twenge states, this is no longer the case with Americans. In her book, Jean Twenge states:
“In the book “Costs of Living”, Barry Schwartz describes a former student who said he thought twice about burdening friends with his life and his problems because he knew how consumed they were with their own, and what a sacrifice it would entail for them to spend the time required to listen to him and to help him out. I put a post it note on that page and wrote “this is a very familiar story” (Generation Me, pg 115)
The point being, in America, friendships tend to be shallow, superficial and fleeting . People are lonely and depressed. All research studies out there show that America has the highest rate of mental illness and depression on earth. There is a epedemic of social disconnectedness in America. She states:
“Generation Me often lacks other basic human requirements: stable close relationships, and a sense of community. The United states has become a place where we have more but feel worse.” (Generation Me, pg 136)
She also states:
“Isolation and loneliness readily lead to anxiety and depression. A mountain of evidence links loneliness and being alone with negative mental health outcomes. I often feel that many of us are one breakup or one move away from depression - our roots are not deep enough, our support systems too shallow.” (Generation Me, pg 115)
But in foreign cultures, you feel more accepted, whole and authentic.The genuine social environment allows you to relax and be yourself, without developing inferiority complexes or mental disorders. No one has to see a therapist. In fact, seeing a therapist is almost unheard in non Western societies.
Americans also score the highest in the world on narcissism tests. In American culture, money and materialism trumps all else, spiritualness and soulfulness be dammed. You really don’t realize how artifical and plastic American culture is until you spend time overseas interacting amongst peoples of other cultures. We think of ourselves as so advanced and better than everyone else in the world just because we have technolgy and money. Our media trains us to think this way. But as the research shows, it’s all a mass egotistical delusion. Jean Twenge said in her research, “Americans are #1 at thinking they are #1”. Americans have only succeeded at deluding themselves with their false and deluded superiority complex. And in the end, money and technology mean very little when it comes to matters of the soul, and having meaningfulness and happiness in life. As Mother Theresa said when she came to the US, we are the most poor people she had ever seen. She was stating that we have a poverty of the soul. And now the experts seem to agree with her. Our research section is full of sourced quotes from America’s most renouned leading experts who are telling us this. Maybe this is why woman from other cultures are so well grounded. One social psychologist , Dr De Leon, stated something that I feel explains this cultural human connectedness that American culture so lacks. He states:
by Felipe de Leon, a professor of Filipinology at Manila's University of the Philippines. See http://www.economist.com/node/883909
"Mr de Leon, after a decade of researching, has concluded that Filipino culture is the most inclusive and open of all those he has studied. It is the opposite of the individualistic culture of the West, with its emphasis on privacy and personal fulfilment. Filipino culture is based on the notion of kapwa, a Tagalog word that roughly translates into "shared being." In essence, it means that most Filipinos, deep down, do not believe that their own existence is separable from that of the people around them. Everything, from pain to a snack or a joke, is there to be shared. "The strongest social urge of the Filipino is to connect, to become one with people", says De Leon. As a result, he believes, there is much less loneliness among them.We talk about successful people of developed first world counties and almost exclusively in terms of education, wealth and employment position. But we know some who are educated wealthy and hold high positions are unhappy people. So can we really say education, wealth and position are the right tools to use to measure success? We all want to be happy. That is our main goal. You hear even the most successful people say, 'All I want it so be happy'. "They feel that maybe more money will make them a happy person, a better job, another degree, another person, mate, friend, a higher position, one that brings more respect. But in recent years, scientists and philosophers tend to agree, happiness comes from within. In ‘Bayanihan House,’ a center for Filipino workers in Hong Kong, the writer chances upon a beauty pageant where one of the contestants was asked how she overcame homesickness, and why she thought the people back home considered her a hero. "She looked down into her audience of amahs. "We're heroes because we sacrifice for the ones we love. And homesickness is just a part of it. But we deal with it because we're together". The room erupted with applause and agreement. "Nowadays, bayanihan really means togetherness", says De Leon, and "togetherness is happiness.' It might sound too obvious, almost banal, to point out--had not so many people across the world forgotten it."When is a Filipino considered poor? What is the measure of personal wealth? Is wealth just in mind, in the bank, in landholdings, or elsewhere? The obstinate cheerfulness of the Filipinas can be baffling. But does it equate to “happiness”, as most people would understand it? “That's not a mistake. They really are,” argues Felipe de Leon, a professor of Filipinology at Manila's University of the Philippines."
ONE COLOMBIAN BLOGGER HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT THE CONNECTEDNESS IN COLOMBIAN SOCIETY
"Similarly to the frequency of family block parties, this sense of community is something that really stands out in Colombia. Plazas are the heart of most neighborhoods and they’re the most lovely example of everyone in communities — older, younger, tourists, and locals — coming together for a good time." (Source http://sotcblog.com/2013/04/15/random-reasons-to-stop-being-silly-and-visit-colombia-part-ii/ )
"The feminine, pure yearning for romance is dead. The object of the game for Western women today is to‘enjoy their independence’. This is incompatible with what provokes a man to treat women romantically and commit to them. (Source - http://www.nomarriage.com/)
Looking for a wife is a game of numbers and opportunities; it’s just like fishing. Now, the river of the feminist-indoctrinated countries has a high percentage of fish that are poisonous to you, but the river of the traditional countries is largely stocked with healthy and delicious fish. Which river will you choose to fish in?" (Source- www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
"I just went on a date…the 22 year old talked about herself 95% of the time, sucking the air out of the room; I wondered if she would pass out from not taking a breath. The girl not only didn’t offer to pay, she did not even offer a “thank you” for the dinner and movie. She also didn’t say a word to me the next day, until I got upset and sent her a message online. Needless to say, that’s over, but it’s far too often the “norm”. You just expect it. You expect a lousy date, no connection, the girl to basically just “use” you and seem only mildly interested in being there. Many decent men out there want the passion, connection that makes women wonderful. You won’t find that in the U.S. It is devastating, and I think it’s depressing a lot of men out there. Romance is certainly completely dead here." (source - http://www.singledudetravel.com/2011/01/american-girls-suck/comment-page-3/#comment-46809 )
Myth: An Asian Woman wants to escape the poverty and will do anything to leave their country.
People who think this, of course have never visited an Asian woman at home. Family is very strong so an she will only leave home if she is truly in love. But she wants what any woman wants - a happy relationship with a man with whom she can share her love. With women out-numbering men by as much as four to one in many parts of Asia, this can be very difficult.
Myth: Your Lady Will Leave You Once She Has Her Citizenship.
Because divorce is illegal in many Asian Countries women are not pre-programmed to think of divorce as a way out. To her, family is everything and they will not give it up without giving their all. Inter-racial love affairs, which begin long distance have proved to be much more successful than domestic love affairs. The overall divorce rate in the United States is over 50%, while that for Asian/Western marriages is below 20%.
Myth: Only a Man With Problems Are Attracted To Asian Women
Wrong again. Many men are tired of the 'emotional baggage' many Western women carry after around thirty years of age. Many men are attracted to the beauty of an Asian woman. Many men are simply attracted by the fact that age and looks are largely irrelevant to an Asian woman. In fact you will find that most Asian women really do want a considerably older partner. The fact that far more inter-racial marriages are successful than internal marriages speaks for itself.
Myth: Most Men Only Want an Asian Woman Because They Are More Submissive.
Another myth put about by people who have zero knowledge of the Asian personality. Asian women are tolerant, loyal and easy to get along with. This is, to the uneducated, confused with submission. If anything, an Asian woman is much better at getting what she wants than many Western women, they are just more subtle and tactful about it.
*Truth be told - An Asian Woman knows how to make her man happy even while she gets her own way.
On the Russian side of this submissive myth
There’s a famous Russian saying that says that the Man may be the head of the family but his wife is the neck that turns the head into the direction it wants! Russian women are very strong, resourceful and streetwise. The amazing thing is that they are all of this without being loud or obnoxious as is prevalent in the US. If they were submissive then they wouldn’t be able to survive in this tough environment. For example they are often dealing with drunk, aggressive and sometimes dangerous Russian men who want to harass or have sex with them. Behavior that would get a man locked up in no time flat in the United States is openly tolerated here and Russian Women are left to fend for themselves. Quite frankly there is great irony here since most American women (who believe themselves to be more independent or stronger then Russian women) would not last long in this environment. (Source : http://russianwomentruth.com/faq/)
One post I found that by far is the best I ever saw regarding our message is as follows:
Numbers do not lie- have a look at statistics across the country and you will see that overall, young men outnumber young women by somewhere around 11:10. In some places it is 12:10 or more. Add to this the fact that Hollywood brainwashes young women that they deserve rich and handsome young husbands with big cars and great careers and houses, and the fact that 20% of sexy hunks with money and good looks get 80% of the women, and you have a recipe for a disaster for a simple young man who just wants a date. He can't get one because numbers and statistics are not in his favor. Social and demographic trends are not in his favor. The Puritanical culture of not talking to strangers is not in his favor. In other words, he is behind the eight ball when it comes to dating.
The solution to the problem is simple- the surplus men many of whom are not in the most desirable category from the American woman's point of view, should go to places on Earth where there is a shortage of men and a surplus of women and where young women outnumber young men.
Try it and you will see what I mean. Go to two cities- Moscow and Manila. You will see more young women on the streets than young men. Always. And guess what else you will see- women try to look better, they behave in a sweeter manner, they try and be nice to guys because if they are not nice, another woman will whisk the guy away from her- guys are in demand.
You will see than instead of steely, supercilious looks that you get from women in the US, or, no looks at all, your appearance as a man on the streets of Moscow or Manila will attract curious, friendly and warm expression of interest from young ladies all over. They will be asking you questions, flirting with you, and saying yes to a dinner invitation.
So, why are they so nice? Because good men are hard to find there. The men can get a girlfriend any time they want, and at any age. They do not need to exercise, take classes in social skills, dress well or join clubs. And they are the ones who do the choosing.Men walk proud and tall there, they do not sing whiny, sweet songs to women, women sing those to men and about men. It is a man's world out there and a man's market.
In their country, there is an army of SEVERAL MILLION LONELY BACHELORETTES who cannot find a good boyfriend or HUSBAND.
Below is another personal compelling story that I can attest is pretty accurate of what most men will experience if they go to the Philippines:
“After I arrived at the hotel where I was to stay, immediately I met a girl, a floor manager and she seemed to be interested in me. We talked and I plucked up my courage and asked her on a date- Guess what the answer was? "Yes!!! When can we go?"Wow! Just like that! I was not used to it. None of this- "I am busy, I have an appointment/headache" stuff you hear in the US. I went out with her and we went to the movies , then, a few days later, the beach and then we started swimming under the full moon and kissing- that was a total blast- just like a dream...
Then, the next day I left early to avoid her as I really did not want to get hooked on the first girl I met and just stepped out of the hotel and started walking. The streets were full of young college girls- all in really cute uniforms and every girl was cuter than the next. Some were looking at me. Then one girl blew me a kiss. I heard "Wow! Handsome" coming from some...Incredible!
And as I sat down, one young guy told me: "Hey, you are new here, watch out! ". I asked him why I should watch out. He said: "Because we are gonna marry you to a Filipina." I grunted something and off we went. I went to the beach and then on the way back, these college girls just flooded into the jeepney. One really cute creature just like one of those dream Hawaiian girls from the movie Blue Hawaii just plopped right next to me smiling. The driver said: "You like her? Ask her out!" I was blushing. But since this was not the US, I plucked up my courage and said Do you want to go to the movies? The answer was a nod and a smile. We went to the movies . It is always " Yes" with those girls. Later after the movies, she took me to her house and introduced me to her family.
This was just the beginning. Later I got on another jeepney and it was full of girls, too. One girl stared at me and asked me: "You got a wife?" I said "No". She pointed at her friends: "Well, choose one!" And they all roared with laughter. The thing was the girls were all so cute and fresh-looking and appearing very happy. They were friendly. Modest, coquettish, feminine yet aggressive. Real girls.
The floor manager at the hotel met me again and we went out again but I told her " Baby, baby don't get hooked on me..." and just asked that we'd be just friends. Then the second girl called me and said these words: "Hello, my name is Inday, we met in the jeepney. I told all the girls in college about you and they all want to meet you."
Yup! They ALL want to meet me.
I went to a department store and again it was chuck full of little miss Universes- sales girls. I approached a counter and they crowded me.
" You are so cute. Your face is so cute". Then on another occasion I was paying for some stuff that I bought and the cashiers started whispering something. I though something was wrong. The answer was: "Very handsome"." Who, me?" "Yes, you". "What is so handsome about me?" "I don't know, maybe it is your tantalizing eyes". And they started laughing.
I could go on and on and on. I would sit down and relax and girls would pass by and whisper to each other pointing me out. The word I learned was "gwapo"- handsome. Once I was just crossing the road. Four young ladies linked their hands and would not let me through. Sales girls from stalls would call out- "Hello, Darling!"
After a few days, I noticed something different about me when I looked in the mirror. My eyes were no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired. Women should seek him out and not the other way around. Rejections and maltreatment by women in the US (or anywhere else where cruel women live) robs a man of his dignity, and slowly eats away at his self-respect and the sense of self-worth. Makes him ill on his inside. He may not show it but permanent scars form on his inside. My time in the Philippines was like some magic ointmet for those scars. They were finally gone!
A place like that was not planet Earth the way I knew it. At least it should not be planet Earth. It was a Shangri-lah.
At night, my nightlife would start. I would go to bars and karaoke establishments and there would be girls everywhere and not many guys. The girls would crowd me. They were so gorgeous I was out of breath.
In the US, if you go to a night club, you always see more guys than girls and the guys look glum and pissed off. The girls look like they are princesses even if butt ugly. Here it was different. The guys looked friendly and non-threatening. Most were just relaxing. No competition. Enough girls for everyone to go around.
That's living!. No amount of job satisfaction or professional achievement can bring you close to the sense of fullfilment that such experiences can bring.
In 1998 I took $14,000 I saved up and went to the Philippines just to live. It lasted me six months. You can rent a hotel there for $200 a month. I had even more hell of a time. I was 38 now but nothing changed. The girls were still looking at me everywhere I went. I dated and dated. It just dont stop....
I invite all guys who are fed up with being lonely to experience what I have experienced. The Philippines is 5-6 times cheaper than the US. It is easy to get there and tickets are cheap. It will make all those wounds heal like magic.
And if you are not handsome in the US, by being a Westerner you are automatically handsome in the Philippines. And if you are in your 40ies, 50ies and 60ies, no problem again. You can get a girl in her 20ies-30ies. And a guy in his 30ies can find an 18 year old just like that! If you do not look like the Hunchback of Notredame or the Elephant Man, you should be good to go...
And if the society in the US says that the problem is *you*, then try changing societies. You may be in for a big surprise.”
A story from www.globaldatingrevolution.com
“I learned on this trip how easy it is for even an average guy to date many good-looking, sweet girls at the same time. Men have so much power in the Lower Tiers, you can date a different girl every night. Not a day passed that I did not spend time with a nice, sexy young woman. But sometimes that power can get out of hand. A couple of times some of the girls I dated met some of my other girlfriends and theybranded me as a player! Then, some of the girls stop talking to me.But others liked me so much they forgave me. Really, they have no choice; in the Lower Tiers it’s the women who have the 4 handicaps to deal with, not the men! There are times when I date just one girl because I like her so much, but the women in these lands still know that the power is in my hands. It’s a totally different feeling than I experience in New Jersey, where the women have you by the balls.”
Here is another:
“many who marry these Filipina beauties, swear they make the best wives in the world, not only beautiful, but loyal, loving and faithful past death. From living here so long that has been my experience too. And, don't worry if you are older or overweight, like half the population of the western world. Both women and men here have the highest respect for age and weight is a plus to some here. It is a status symbol. If you are overweight, you virtually lose twenty percent of your weight when you step on Philippine soil. Age is respected. Consider yourself lucky to not be a kid anymore.”
Here is a real email I recieved from a friend who is obvioulsy quite passionate about this issue (LOL):
I have a profile on http://filipinacupid and you would not believe what I have experienced since getting a platinum membership.
These women are humble, and many times apologetic. I asked one if she was a virgin and she said no. Then she said, "I am so sorry I am not. Maybe I am not for you." After that, I replied, "there is no need to apologize. I am flexible and don't judge women based on that solely."
Another woman emailed me and she was 39 years old. She said how sorry she was for not being as young as most women are that date guys my age. She was very humble. I replied that I didn't judge by age, only by personality and the ability to make a man feel good.
Steve, these women are light years ahead of our American woman who make most men feel lowly and shitty. I am totally done with American women, permanently!//
And another post:
“It was a shock, but it did not hit me until in my late 20's that foreign women, first and foremost, carried themselves like a LADY, they were also helpful, generally more honest, more considerate and cooperative, and did not challenge me or get in my face like a undisciplined western woman would..”
A post at Happier abroad.com:
My best friends dad said one time there are a 100 million women in this country and you can't tell me there aren't any good women here. I agree but most of them are taken and the percentage of good women I would reckon is very low.
Also, in my opinion, an American female from the age of 18 to 35 just do not possess a traditional marriage mindset. The values that should be taught to these girls from a young age have been completely abandoned. It's evident in the way they act. I see it!! I hear the way they talk. I see the way they act. Look how these girls and women carry themselves anymore. Tattoos/tramp stamps on their lower backs and other parts of their body. Piercings in their lips, tongue, and upper eyelids. Dressing like hookers and going to stores in their pajamas and slippers. Different color hair. I see all this crap in public places and it makes me SICK!!!! This seems to be the norm these days with American females. Not all are like this, of course, but I'm sure most of you know all this crap I just mentioned is evident and very widespread.
So why should I be optimistic about finding a woman of quality with a traditional mindset? So people say you can't generalize. How would you feel if someone made a generalization about American men? You have to get to know the person first before judging. Well, the way many of these women carry themselves zaps all romantic intentions. Once in a blue moon I'll see a chick that catches my eye and I think she might be worth getting to know, BUT as we already know no signs of interests are shown. They act closed off and don't acknowledge that you're trying to flirt. So I leave them alone.
However, I would still give an American chick a chance provided she has some class and carries herself like a feminine woman. But that seems to be scarce. I'm always on the outlook for a quality woman.
Most of the time, when I try to post these expert stats, facts, and statistics on Internet message forums such as plentyoffish.com , it gets DELETED!! WOW! What does this say about our culture? We live in FEAR of the TRUTH? It’s one thing when a personal commentary gets deleted because the forum moderators fear people will find it inflammatory, but its yet another thing when forum moderators start deleting stas, facts, and expert opinions. As a perfect example of what I mean, if you try to post this article http://womensinfidelity.com/women_divorce.html on any dating site message board, IT GETS DELETED every time! What’s wrong? Why can’t we as a society handle these TRUTHS? If we as a society are afraid of scientific facts, stats, and experts, then that is very sad indeed.
Internet Forum posts on this subject:
“They will not go for a variety of reasons: skepticism, the arrogant belief that American women are the best the world has to offer, fear of the unknown, lack of funds, inability to travel alone, brainwashed by feminists that FW are greencard seeking golddiggers, and the list goes on and on.”
“The bottom line is WEAKNESS prevents most men from venturing out of the US to find good women. The men who do travel are hunters who exhibit the qualities that serve men well universally.”
“Americans are scared of the outside world. Main stream media. The media pounds this theme into them 24x 7. They think the rest of the world is a 3rd World Shithole and that you will be shot for your wallet before you make it to your hotel room.”
“ I think men are also programmed into believing this consumerist culture is 'the ideal' of the world. They ignorantly feel they are in the best place right where they are, despite the fact that any marriage they walk into here has a 50%-60% chance of ending in divorce. You may as well play russian roulette, you actually would have better odds.”
“I also think a lot of men DON'T KNOW. I am a well travelled person, but until the recomendation of my best friend, then discovering this site and others, I never even thought about it as a viable option. People get so stuck in trying to run the broken down treadmill of the mating scene here they don't realize they could have it better abroad. Instead, they fall off the treadmill, then get right back on it, over and over again.....the average mangina thinks its NOT A PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IN GENERAL, BUT THE INDIVIDUAL. "She just wasn't the right one." How many times do you have to tell yourself that? I think the first step in turning a mangina into a man, one who would want to look abroad, is that he needs to realize THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THE WOMEN OF THIS COUNTRY AND THE WEST COLLECTIVELY, NOT INDIVIDUALLY.”
“I think the main reason for this is simply because of lack of knowledge.”
“The idea that women could be sweet, warm, nurturing and kind by nature is so completely outside the reality of the average man in the Anglosphere, you might as well be telling him that the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus really exists. “
“I read some stats about how in the US, most people don't even have their passports let alone traveled outside the US. To see is to believe, you can tell someone until you're blue in the face but if they could see it, then they would believe it.”
“And thus the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.”
“People are so ignorant and fearful that they would rather die before taking the smallest risk. They spend so many money on houses, cars, and crap. They are all so indebted into their ears that is ridiculous. Yet they couldnt spend a few dollars on a life changing experiment. They are too lazy to do anything and rather continue rotting away into nothingness.”
Per Mark Dabis of Euopean connections..... “They don't know there is an alternative because they've believed so many myths about that mail-order-bride-thing or the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em broke’ horror stories that are the rare exception instead of the rule.”
A Real Woman Wants A Real Man
Men are PC'ed to death. The consequences of almost 50 years of ardent feminism have been devastating: a society in bewilderment about gender roles, the rise of a class of ball-busting bitches whose battle cry is, "We don't need men," and angry women blaming men for all their problems -- in short, an overall erosion of male confidence.
As society becomes more and more feminized, as more and more young men are being raised by single mothers who don't have a clue about the male sex drive, but who teach their sons to surrender their natural masculinity and pander to women, today's man is forced to apologize for -- and feel shame about -- his inherent male sexuality.
This abrogation of sexual confidence has resulted in a world full of wusses and doormats, men who cater to women and willingly hand over all their male power in exchange for a few crumbs of approval or sexual "favors."
The modern man walks around on eggshells, afraid of saying the "wrong thing," scared of showing his natural sexual interest to a woman, scared of being scorned, humiliated, or even fired -- scared of his own true self.
All of this flies in the face of nature. For years now, men have been forced to bend over backwards to please women, but pandering to a self-serving social movement can't really reverse five billion years of human evolution.
Clearly this essential point is lost on the female gender because women just don't have a clue what it is to be truly sexual -- a woman's sex drive can't even begin to compare with a man's. Yet modern feminism still blindly strives to feminize men into submissive she-males.
And the truth is, despite what women say and how much they protest, they want a man who acts like a man. Scratch the surface and you'll find that deep down they don't really want a man to act like a woman any more than a guy wants a chick to be masculine.
So instead of letting women snip pruning shears at their crotches, it's time for men to stop apologizing for being male, to celebrate their inherently sexual natures, and to reclaim their sexual confidence.
Men who are not sexually confident:
Seek approval from women
Cater or pander to women
Call women every day or worse, many times a day (clingy, needy)
Try to buy their time and attention with meals, gifts, etc.
Are nervous, insecure or overly nice around women
Act like women's friends instead of their lovers
Are available at the drop of a hat
Tolerate without protest rude behavior, cancelled dates, etc.
Go out of their way to please women in the hope of getting laid
Let women control the relationship
Are afraid that if they do "something wrong," she'll leave
Grovel, beg, or are desperate for sex
Obsess about and over-analyze everything women say and do
Feel shameful or guilty about their natural sexuality
Let women manipulate them or treat them like "walking wallets"
Are lousy lovers
Sexually confident men:
not feet-kissing doormats
Don't make excuses for who they are -- they exude sexuality and they're comfortable with their natural masculinity
Aren't afraid of being who they are
Have no interest in being PC, morphing their true selves to gain female approval, or being overly nice
Don't have to trade money or gifts for sex (a.k.a. "dating")
Always control the relationship
Never tolerate any female BS
Radiate sexually-charged body language
Flirt easily and well
Are natural leaders, not followers
Unabashedly look at women's bodies
Don't care if they score with a particular woman, because they know that there are many others waiting in line. They want sex, but they don't need it -- they aren't
desperate and groveling for it
Never apologize for who they are
Act like men around women, not wusses.
In other words, sexually confident men aren't afraid to be themselves or to exert their natural sexuality -- and don't really care what society thinks of them. Unlike bad boys, sexually confident men are not abusive toward women -- in fact, they love the company of women and treat them very well. And women can't keep their hands off them.
Be a man
The good news is, a man doesn't have to be built like Arnold Schwarzenegger or look like Brad Pitt to be sexually confident and attract women. But he does have to tap into his natural masculinity and let it shine out for the female population to see.
When a man becomes confident and secure about his sexuality, he immediately asserts his independence and individuality. He becomes more selective. His self-image has been enhanced and he is comfortable being who he is instead of constantly changing his behavior to fit into society's current format.
Women can look into his eyes and read his body language and instantly know that he's a good lover. Instead of desperately seeking the approval of women and chasing after them like a puppy dog, he is now the "desired one," and women pursue him because he has transformed himself from a doormat into a challenge.
As the old saying goes, "Do what you've always done and you'll keep getting what you've always gotten." If you want to be sexually confident, all you have to do is be the man nature intended you to be.
Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation. He has appeared on radio shows from coast-to-coast in the United States and in Canada, and has been featured on the Montel show and The Other Half.
Many Americans today are too focused on image. Who do I need to impress today? Do I have the latest iPhone, do I have the coolest shoes, do I have the best page on MySpace? Many Americans' happiness lies in material belongings and having money.
When our society constantly perpetuates consumption and material desires with hype, our general focus becomes on the outward rather than the inward. People are judged based on what they have, which creates their status. As a result, we lose touch with our inner selves, have no true self–confidence/self-esteem, and therefore have fragile egos dependent on outer things and material possessions. In the US , people see life in terms of making money, buying things, and superficialities. There is no spiritual or intellectual dimension in their lives, and no “inner” life. In America , you are constantly told you arn’t good enough or you will never be happy unless you own “Things”. No other culture rivals American culture in this consumerist and shallow mindset.
"When Mother Teresa visited America, she said we are a poor nation overall in a spiritual sense. America's poverty, she said, is worse than that of India's, for it is that of a terrible loneliness that come from wanting the wrong things." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 237)
Winston Wu of happierabroad.com sums it up in his own words as follows:
"In America, you are NOT taught to FEEL GOOD about yourself at all! You are NOT taught how to cultivate good mental health, self-acceptance, inner wholeness and well-being, or healthy social relationships and friendships. No way. Instead, you are conditioned and engineered by your schools, media, culture and peers to feel UNWORTHY, INSECURE and INADEQUATE deep down, and to fill that emptiness within by 1) becoming a workaholic slave to a corporate dictatorship (aka "getting a career") so you can make money and 2) become a mass consumer junkie who tries to buy everything he/she can that's on the market out there. In other words, you are programmed to try to fill your emptiness and insecurity by over-working and over-consuming (buying too much useless junk) perpetually without end, all under the doctrine that "material goods lead to happiness and well-being" and that "the more the better". In short, your self-esteem is artificially based on your status in a corporate dictatorship and what you can BUY to enhance your "image".
“The artificial culture erodes your self-worth and sanity. You never feel whole and complete in America. For some reason, everyone feels inadequate... like they're not good enough. You are taught to fill this emptiness by living to work and consuming endless junk you don’t need. That's why the model citizen in America is a workaholic and you are taught that "you are what you do". The US culture perpetuates this myth that making money and buying endless junk will make you happy, which is false. The social culture is like a mask of fakeness that you can never really “be yourself” in. You're expected to always act happy like everything is great. That's why when you go to work, people ask "How are you?" and you always have to answer "Fine" or "Not bad", even if you're feeling like shit. It's very unnatural and fake. In such an environment, how can you ever be your true self, or even know your true self?
Many develop phony or unnatural personalities to compensate for their inferiority complexes. You can see this in a lot of people in America. I'm sure you all know someone who brags, exaggerates or makes up stories about their lives to impress others. Or people who act phony and are not sincere or down to earth. Deep down they have a wound that they are trying to cover, and develop all these complexes as a band aid. It's very sad.
This is especially true with minorities. If you look at black people in America for instance, and compare them with black people in England, you will notice a big difference. The blacks in the UK seem far more well adjusted and whole, like they are part of the mainstream, whereas blacks in the US seem to suffer from an inferiority complex (through no fault of their own).
These aspects of the artificial American culture is very undermining to one’s psychological balance and wholeness. In other words, it's detrimental to your mental health.
These dysfunctional conditions culminate to make America one of the WORST, if not the worst, countries for Social Life, Dating and Mental Health, and explain why it has the HIGHEST rates of mental illness and loneliness in the industrialized world (look it up or see the stats on my site).
Yet US society is in denial about all this. These realities are unacknowledged, and it is taboo to mention them lest you be perceived as a “loser”. Instead, you are expected to always maintain the façade that “everything is great” and if you have a problem you are expected to blame or improve yourself.
But the truth is that the problem does not lie in the victims, but in the dysfunctional society itself, evidenced by the fact that for many sufferers, these problems alleviate once they are in different cultures as shown at www.happierabroad.com
Another factor is that those who do recognize these obvious truths are afraid to mention them openly because it makes them look like maladjusted losers, and plus they know that the politically correct mainstream will mentally resist these truths too. They know this instinctually.
Nevertheless, you can take solace at least, in that NONE of it is your fault. As the great Indian sage Jiddu Krishnamurti stated, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
Social psychologist Jean Twenge says this about America
“It (America) looks like an upside down bird’s nest: a hollow vessel with an empty interior and a rotting structure” (The Narcissism Epidemic, pg 277)
An email I received from a Columbian girl who had lived in the US for 5 years.She clearly exposes another sad thing about American culture. Her email is as follows:
“I tell you that I'm sure that even simple people like me have enjoyed life more than people very wealthy and very studied in your country, it is sad that people have no time left for walking, playing sports, going to a church, an ice cream cone , cooking, bathing, watch the stars at night, singing in the bathroom. Everything in America is so fast pace that no one can slow down to enjoy simple things in life. They have lost the enjoyment of simple things. And Hugs are very significant and important, and there are people in America who do not embrace anyone. Many do not realize how if we get a hug, how good that makes them feel “
See this NEWS Article about this very issue
“You know, the air is really “thin” in the United States, because the value-system is one-dimensional. It’s basically about economic and technological expansion, not much else; the “else” exists at the margins, if it exists at all. I first discovered this when I traveled around Europe in my mid-20s. I saw that the citizens of those countries talked about lots of things, not just about material success. Money is of course important to the citizens of other countries, Mexico included, but it’s not necessarily the center of their lives.
Here’s what the US lacks, which I believe Mexico has: community, friendship, appreciation of beauty, craftsmanship as opposed to obsessive technology, and—despite what you read in the American newspapers—huge graciousness; a large, beating heart. I never found very much of those things in the US; certainly, I never found much heart. American cities and suburbs have to be the most soulless places in the world. In a word, America has its priorities upside down, and after decades of living there, I was simply tired of being a stranger in a strange land. In A General Theory of Love, Thomas Lewis and his colleagues conclude that happiness is achieved only by those who manage to escape the American value-system. Well, the easiest way to escape from that value-system, is to escape from America.” (Source -Why the American Empire was destined to collapse )
Pseudo-confidence of the American personality
by Winston WU of happier abroad
"Americans constantly project this artificial fake pseudo-confidence to cover any vulnerability or inferiority complex that they have. It fuels and perpetuates their narcissism that their culture breeds. And if one is without it, then one is told that they better develop it to survive. To foreigners, it looks obviously fake and contrived, but to Americans, it's a symbol of strength necessary to survive in a Darwinistic society that hates the weak. To Americans, strength and winning is everything, even if you have to develop fake pseudo-confidence. It's very ungenuine, but it's the American way.
This pseudo-confidence that Americans like to project is so apparent, that when you step into their neighbors in Canada, you notice a big difference in the absence of this pseudo-confidence and narcissism that Canadians aren‘t projecting.
However, it‘s all so fake that they have to constantly keep themselves positive with pseudo-positivity or else they slip into a depression, feeling of emptiness, or insanity. That‘s why positive thinking is such a fad in America nowadays. It‘s merely a coping mechanism to deal with the insecurity and lack of an inner life of so many Americans. Therefore, pseudo-confidence is maintained by pseudo-positivity. It‘s all very unreal and dysfunctional. What happened to us? One obvious explanation for over-inflating one‘s confidence in the American personality is our separatist and individualist ideology of autonomy and exclusivity. In other words you are on your own and make your own destiny. Under such an ideology, the "I" of the individual is viewed as separate, and therefore detached from community and relationships. (which is kind of lonely for my taste) In addition, it also breeds narcissism of course. As a consequence, the scared little I needs to over-inflate its confidence in order to survive on its own, whereas people in other countries have a much better community and social support that is more integrated. In addition, the pursuit of wealth and property rights is exclusive in nature, making individuals more separate. In short, in exchange for the opportunity to amass wealth/property and indulge in greed, you get to endure loneliness and detachment from relationships and community.
This might explain why Americans have such a strong victim-blaming mentality toward anyone who complains. Those with pseudo-confidence hate complainers, and use them as punching bags to pump up more pseudo-confidence. You can see all this being played out on internet forums. For some reason, American internet users are notorious for having a victim-blaming mentality. Anyone who complains about anything on internet forums is quickly flamed by the pack, who jump at the chance to pounce on a "victim" who shows himself/herself as weak or vulnerable. Rather than trying to help the "victim", the pack prefers to condemn, ridicule, and criticize them, exposing every vulnerability they can, labeling them as "losers" etc. It's all part of their Darwinian psyche to eliminate the weaker members of the pack to strengthen the rest of the group, kind of like how wolves kill off and eat the weakest members of their clan to strengthen the pack. From one point of view though, we can surmise that people outside America have evolved beyond this primal instinct of false confidence and paranoia, centuries or millennia ago.
The problem here though, is that this modern American pseudo-confidence is actually quite intimidating to those like me who are sincere, genuine, warm, sensitive, down-to-earth, gentle, non-competitive and union-seeking. It makes us feel vulnerable in an unhealthy way, which indirectly tries to force us to adopt the same behavior of pseudo-confidence to keep up and avoid being torn down. In effect, pseudo-confidence battle requires one to maintain a pseudo-self-esteem to avoid becoming a "loser". Hence, this explains why I tend to feel unnaturally vulnerable in the American society and public.
Unfortunately, many immigrants who come to America in search of a better life and opportunity, find that they are soon forced to adopt this pseudo-confidence and paranoia elements too, in order to keep up, causing weird psychoses and complexes that they never dreamed of back in their more "natural world". Hopefully, the collective American personality will learn to evolve someday. But until then, those who see through these pseudo traits and refuse to be infested by them, should either learn to detach from them and live peacefully in the US, or else move abroad to more enlightened and evolved countries"
Roosh V's take on what's wrong with America
I love what Roosh has to say- hits the nail on the head about many aspects of US culture
“Americans are lazy but they’re not. When it comes to money they’ll work like fucking mules. You’ll never see someone put in as many hours as an American. They’ll do anything to make that extra dollar to get that plasma television or dine in some frou-frou restaurant that got a good review by some idiot on the internet. They will work and barely complain when you tell them they can’t take a long vacation. Hell, even if you give them a lot of time off they wouldn’t know what to do with it. When it comes to anything else Americans don’t want to lift a finger. I mean look at heath care. Americans think it’s pills and MRIs. Why aren’t many people connecting the dots between the American diet and health care? Americans eat like pigs, look like pigs, get sick with diabetes, heart disease, god knows what else, and then complain that health care is too expensive. Their lifestyle makes it expensive. Don’t get me wrong I believe the government should provide free health care for its citizens, but exercising four times a week is my health care. Eating vegetables, cooking all my meals, avoiding junk food, drugs, stress—that’s my health care. I probably spend more hours a week on my health than on making money. Americans don’t cook or simply take care of themselves because they’re too tired from making money. They want to pop pills with side effects to keep eating ‘comfort’ food and sit on their asses. After putting in a tough eight hours or more with the man that’s all they have the energy to do.
Bill Maher NAILS it! -----
An International travel Blogger comments on America's materialism also
"One of the saddest and most irritating things about modern culture is the ever-present message of consumerism. BUY. SPEND. You need things to be complete. Success is directly correlated to the number and quality of your possessions. Consume. Consume. Consume. And we swallow it like a spoonful of sugar fed to us by Mary Poppins.
It takes a seriously concentrated effort to not be affected. When I went back to Tampa for six months between my Asia trip and Latin America, I felt like an alien. My (former) friends spoke about thousand-dollar purses and designer sunglasses. A couple of months before that, I had been on a 9-hour journey on the worst road I’ve ever experienced, getting a first-hand look at the absolute poverty of the Laotian people.
It was hard for my brain to process both realities existing on the same planet. I really couldn’t relate to why talking about brand names would be important, interesting, or even relevant. The function of a purse is to carry belongings – does a Prada purse carry things better than a handmade one?
After a month of trying to reintegrate, I conceded into my room and basically didn’t come out for the next five months. I was determined to not forget everything I had learned, to block the toxic cultural influences that make people think their worth is determined by their possessions."
(Ever notice how nowhere else in the world, not even in other affluent 1st world countries, do we see this crazy obsession with buying "material" shit! )
America’s materialistic message that you are uncool unless you own expensive “things”
America in love with its cars. This commercial shows one of the very unhealthy parts of American culture. American commercials tend to sell the idea that if you own this car you are cooler and better than everyone else. It's an unhealthy game of "one upmanship" in a unhealthy “hyper competitive” society via the worship of material things. It contributes to the unhealthy competitive vibe that pidgeon holes people into winners and losers leading to disfragmentation and stress and poor mental health. All studies confirm the fact that the United States leads the world in mental illness, primarily anxiety and depression. These insane car commercials are just but one example. These car commercials program Americans to believe that EVERYONE has nice cars but them, hence setting the bar too high. While many countries also have auto commercials, no country is as good as the US marketers at making everyone else feel like shit. There's a HUGE difference in how other countries market an automobile. There is a healthy way and then there's the insane way to do it. BOTTOM LINE: There is no other country so in love with its material possessions than the United States of America! See what I mean here in this video below:
Honda Pilot Commercial reflects just how shallow and souless American culture is becoming
What Americans REALLY care about most in life?
Unfortunately, this video is 100% SPOT ON about what most Americans care MOST about in life. Sad but true. It's a reflection of a shallow, plastic, and superficial culture. (Disclaimer- there is nothing wrong with owning nice things. It's when your priorities , purpose, and self worth are based on such things that societal degeneracy sets in.) Anyone who cant see that this country is on path of social degeneracy has their blinders on, or, hasn't traveled abroad to see the difference in social and mental health.
Lexus Car Commercial - A commercial made for the 1%.
Oh, and lets not forget the Lexus commericals that makes the other 99% of us feel lowly and shitty! Commercials like these just add to the consumerist competive vibe that tells men that if they are real "family" men and really love their wives, they should purchase expensive things for them. No wonder so many women in America are spoiled and hard to please on a material level. This shit is hammered into their minds since childhood. Who can really blame them when they are brought up in a culture that glorifies material wealth as a means to happiness and meaningfulness in life. To be honest, I just about throw up every time I see these Lexus commercials. I think I finally discovered why I generally dislike Christmas so much. Perhaps if I lived in a more healthy and non consumerist culture, or learned to shut off the TV during the holidays, I might actually have a chance to "FEEL" the "True" meaning of Christmas and learn to like it more. Oh, and lastly, notice the perfect pretty little PLASTIC people in this video below. How fake can you get? Someone please pass me the vomit bowl.
Ing Retirement commercial for the 1%.
Look at this video at the 4 second time marker. This part shows the sick and unhealthy "competitive" culture of the USA. Just look at how smug this guy is! Notice how he is looking down at the guy next to him checking out his savings number in a manner that suggests that saving for retirement is a competition?. The USA promotes a ugly "in your face" mentality and divides us into winners and losers as if we are in competition with our fellow man. No wonder why we have the highest mental illness in the world and all these mass shootings. Commercials like this one are so sick and affect our psyche. We just don't realize it cause we are so used to it.
Notice how people are walking around with $700,000 to $2,000,000 in their NEST EGG retirement accounts? Now seriously, who the FUCK has that kind of money saved in retirement ? Let me answer that question for you with this CNN article:
"CNN Money reported last week that 43% of Americans have less than $10,000 in retirement savings, which is a statistic provided by the Employee Benefit Research Institute in their Retirement confidence survey (2010 results). If that figure isn’t scary enough, it appears that 27% of workers have less than $1,000."
So there you have it. The stats say that 70% of Americans have less than $10,000!! In light of this fact, can you see the SUBLIMINAL competitive vibe? Doesn't it give you a sense that you don’t measure up ? Our culture seems to have tons of this kind of materialistic “in your face” advertising that makes you feel inadequate and depressed. But it occurs at a subconscious level. When this crap is pounded into you 24 x 7 your entire life, it's a recipe for disaster. It causes self esteem destruction. It makes people unhappy, increases feelings of worthlessness leading to anxiety and depression. As already confirmed with stats elsewhere within this site, the US leads the world in mental illness. These insane materialistic commercials no doubt play a role in that.
Other cultures have commercials too but MOST cultures don't have so many commercials that convey this sick message!
A sign of a culture starting to slide downhill - you have the lowest common denominator held high on the cultural pedestal
America – the land of fat egos
You won’t see this degree of douche bagness (oops, I mean narcissism) in other parts of the world.
As this photo clearly shows, it’s not only the American woman who can be shallow, materialistic, and
Narcissistic. It is sometimes the men too. This is the type of crowds you typically encounter in the nightclubs
of America. You rarely, if ever, see these types in night clubs or bars of Non Western cultures.
Douche bags of America - meet your god!
Douce bags/bad boys like this is what many American woman flock to
(Though most will try to deny it!)
This is one of the main reasons I consider a significant percentage of American woman
to be so dysfunctional
Truth be told, foreign woman would kick a guy like this to the curb!! It goes to
show how healthy and balanced foreign woman are just by the choices they make.
Very few foreign woman would be attracted to these type of guys
For PROOF of this dysfunctional trend of American woman preferring “bad boys” (aka: jerks) , See this video below
Anonymous Internet post
“Social interaction, even among people who know each other is very bad here in America. Americans don't have any genuine comradery or solidary with each other regardless of all the idiotic flag waving. I believe it starts at an early age when children are left in the care of strangers (i.e, daycare, grade school) by their callous overachieving parents which then forces isolation on children.So as a result, you have children who don't develop any strong bonds with anybody (not even each other really) and they grow up into adults who are indifferent, cold, and some who are ruthlessly competitive towards each other. These same people also grow into hyper-materialistic consumers because they have learned that consuming things is a way to artificially make yourself feel better and make up for what they're not getting from American society via REAL relationships. These are the kind of people who brag that they don't need anybody because they have all the money to supposedly make up for being alone.”
Famous historian and social critic says the following in his book about Americans
"Americans now behave in public places the way New Yorkers have always behaved in the subway: they carefully keep one inch of space between themselves and all adjacent bodies, and stare blankly into the middle distance. If someone spoke to them, they would jump out of their shoes." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 38)
"Today in America, a house is a community (and that's if you're lucky) - which is to say that we have no community. Even the suburbs of the fifties had it, with dance parties and conga lines and weekend volley-ball. (Try even suggesting such activities today!). People used to spend their summer evenings in front of the stoop talking to their neighbors. Now they stay inside, in air conditioned apartments, alone, hooked on the remote." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 43).
"Americans have become dramatically disconnected from family, friends, neighbors, and social structures; this has happened in every walk of life, and across all sections of the population, irrespective of gender, race, class, and educational background. Between 1985 and 1999, there was a 30% decline in the readiness of Americans to make new friends". (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 44).
"America is a "contactless society" populated by automatons. The United States is like Rome in the later stages of the empire: a similarly souless, politically corrupt, everybody-for-himself civilization." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 77).
"From a European point of view, says sociologist Ray Oldenburg, American suburbs are like prisons. There is no contact between households, and one rarely knows one's neighbors. There are no places to walk to, or cafes to sit where people drop in and socialize or read the newspaper. And we have a endless "me-first" competition that we conduct with one another in lieu of having any real community." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 265).
A quote in Morris Berman's book 'Dark ages America' where he quotes one immigrant's comment about America
"When I was living in Europe, America appeared to me as the land of oppurtunity. That proved to be true in many ways, but socially the place is a disaster" . Americans care only about their individual lives, there is no genuine friendliness here, no community. American culture seems to consist of nothing more than money and television, and nobody gives anybody else a break" (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 38)
During my 2012 trip to Peru, I made this recording while at a Bar in Miralflores. Note how complete strangers are singing together? Note how bonded in comradery and togetherness they are? Have you ever witnessed this kind of spontaneous comradery by Americans in any American bar? This is proof positive of the lack of "connection" in America that I am talking about.
Winston Wu of Happier abroad describes it like this:
"In most of the world, not just in Europe/Russia, one can easily go out alone without having to be alone. It is easy and natural to meet people, find company to hang out with, someone interesting to spend your time with, or even get a nice date with the opposite sex that same day or night, if you just chat them up sincerely. Or sometimes of course, they may chat you up as well. So in a sense, you don't even have to "break the ice "because there is no "ice" to begin with! "
As an American, you simply don't realize these commonalities as awkward because you don't know any different. You just assume that the social scene in America is similar to the rest of the world. The average American hasn't experienced interacting in other cultures. Even those of us who have traveled Internationally have only done the touristy type thing which doesn't really immerse you within that culture. People in other cultures are much more inclusive, warm, and socially connected .
Winston Wu of Happier abroad describes it like this:
"Those whose world is limited to the USA think that this is the universal norm and assume that everyone is like that. Well they are dead wrong. On most continents, and in most countries outside North America, people are comfortable, relaxed and unparanoid about talking to strangers, which they see as normal and nothing to fear. The process is very mutual. You don't really have to "make" it happen. This is true in Russia, Ukraine, most of Europe, South America, Africa, Australia, etc. In fact, when I arrived in a new city in Europe/Russia, it would usually only take a few hours to already know some people, get contact information, and make plans. Just doing normal things will usually create natural opportunities that get you acquainted with people. In such areas of the globe, people talk to strangers as if they already know them. The environment and vibe is much more inclusive. And meeting people is natural, normal and part of the flow, rather than an uphill struggle like it is in North America. Therefore, outside North America meeting people usually happens anywhere in public, and is the norm rather than the exception. In Russia, for example, almost everyone talks to strangers without shyness or fear. The ironic thing is that in Russia, with a high petty crime, talking to strangers is actually more dangerous than in the USA. But Russians are unparanoid and pushy about whereas Americans are shy and uncomfortable talking to strangers even though in their country it's generally very safe to do so. People in Europe/Russia are totally UN-cliquish, which is so refreshing when you're new. So what the @#$% is wrong with North America and its vibe? It's logical to assume that Americans live within a thicker –psychological prison."
One gentlemen's observations (while he was abroad) about how foreigners are different than Americans
"I went climbing and hiking all day yesterday and lemme tell ya............
Yet Another comment by another individual on these differences between the US and other countries
"You can make a whole network of friends here in a single day who immediately treat you like they would lay down their lives for you, and who you can see treat each other that way also, so you know it is not just because you are a visitor. It takes years of hard work to make one or two friends like that in America but out here it is a normal part of life for everyone, and this is why people from these countries are known to have high suicide rates when they go alone to live in the US. They cannot deal with the level of horrible lonlinesss, isolation, and total lack of support that is standard in the US. Well, guess what, PEOPLE IN THE US CAN'T DEAL WITH IT EITHER, that is why they have the highest crime rates in the world an very HIGH RATES OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND SUICIDE!!!!"
Another excellent quote from Winston Wu of happier abroad on this lack of human connection in the US
"Moreover, natural connectedness between people also makes human relationships far more healthy and natural, so that it is much easier to socialize, meet people, make friends or date the opposite sex. This is something you have to experience to truly understand. It is what Americans lack and do not even know that they lack. Only when they meet others with such wholeness or go to countries that allow them to feel that way (as I have) that they realize that they were lacking it all along. Only then do they see how insecure and fragmented they were on the inside, all the while falsely assuming that the rest of the world was the same.
Everyone has problems and struggles of course, just like they do everywhere, but the key difference is that they are easier to deal with because when one is "whole" on the inside it becomes FAR EASIER to deal with such difficulties. This natural inner wholeness is “true strength”. It is why people in other countries do not suffer mental breakdowns or illnesses when they endure life's many problems like Americans do.
One important point. It’s not that other countries “do” anything in particular to make people feel connected and whole. They don’t have to. People are NATURALLY whole and connected to one another. The difference is that most countries ALLOW the natural wholeness and connectedness of human beings to develop and flourish, whereas somehow the USA doesn’t. Instead, America engineers its people to think that they are selfish individuals in competition with one another who are segregated by their “individual freedom”. And it’s beaten into them that “no one cares about you; only you can take care of yourself; it’s every man for himself” under the name of “individualism”. In other words, America divides its people, fragments them, and makes them feel empty on the inside, so they will be weak, controllable and over-consume to fill that emptiness that they don’t even consciously recognize. It’s not a jurisdictional control, more like a psychological form of control, which the public is unaware of.
So, contrary to the teaching of US culture that “freedom is to become a selfish disconnected individual” which turns out to be a prison of the soul, true freedom is being able to connect with others. And that’s why I felt “freer” and able to come out of my shell overseas than I did in America, big time.
Think on this a moment. Do you think it's a natural occurrence that almost everyone in America suffers from deep insecurities to the point of having "issues" or "baggage", while people in the rest of the world are nowhere near as dysfunctional? No way! People are obviously engineered to be that way for some reason.
The truths and comparisons above are usually only discussed privately, never publicly, not even on the web. And that's because it is very politically incorrect to compare cultures and say that one is better than the other in some way. Such talk is potentially offensive, no matter how true, and we are taught never to say such things publicly. In addition, most common people are engineered to be blind to the faults and dysfunction in society and instead blame themselves if anything goes wrong. Unfortunately, most people follow what they’ve been “programmed” and cannot see outside of it. They do not possess the "consciousness level" or insight to rise above it and see the truth."
In fact, even someone who may be considered a social misfit in the US or who may have few friends (or few dating prospects) due to their shyness or lack of social skills will not have this same problem in most other (Non western) cultures of the world.
And one last thing that is worth pointing out about the lack of social connection in America is the subject of family closeness. Anyone who has any experience with foreign cultures will comment on how close foreign families are, and how unclose American families are in comparison. Most Americans I know (including mine) only see their families during the Holidays. However, EVERY immigrant family I have met in America are always getting together almost every month. Immigrants even have a tendency to buy houses within the same neighborhood! That's how close and connected they are.
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
"Almost every immigrant and visitor to the US remarks about how they quickly gain weight when eating the processed rich food here. America's obesity problem, the worst in world history, is well known all around the world. Not even the most ignorant and narrow minded deny it. There is no doubt that no other nation among the 200 countries of the world has anywhere near the obesity epidemic that the US has.
For some reason, food in America, both in public eating establishments and from supermarkets is fattening, addictive, and unhealthy. Books such as Fast Food Nation and others try to address the reasons for this, but generally the culprits identified are refined sugar, process foods, chemical additives, MSG, preservatives, and anti-insecticides, etc.
From burgers and fries, to hot dogs and Doritos, food in the US is fattening and bad for you. It's hard to find healthy food in the US unless you stick to salads and shop in expensive organic stores. Add to this the fact that most people don't exercise and spend all their time in cars, houses, and offices, and the weight problem compounds even more. When I was in Europe/Russia though, I ate a lot but hardly gained weight or got fat from it. The food was much more natural though it wasn't as rich or intense in flavor. Though I didn‘t exercise, I walked a lot everyday while taking public transportation. And not surprisingly, almost all young adults I saw were either thin or height/weight proportionate. Fat youngsters were extremely rare, and obesity out of the question. Not only does this apply to people, but to household pets as well. In the US, dogs and cats also tend to be overweight too, while pets abroad tend to be thin and normal. Apparently, the poisoned processed food of the US extends into pet food as well. How cruel can the food industry be?! The food that poisons us ought to be illegal, for our own good. Some of course, postulate a conspiracy in all this to undermine the health of Americans, perhaps to keep them under some kind of control.
The reasons I‘ve heard as to why Americans are the most overweight in the world are: 1) too much time spent in cars and homes rather than walking/public transportation, 2) lack of exercise due to laziness and too much work, 3) too much sugar, processed bleached white flour, preservatives and grease in their mainstream foods (none of which are good for you), 4) overly large meal portions, especially at dinner, even in restaurants, 5) focus on dinner being the main and largest meal of the day rather than lunch, which throws your system off balance and increases weight gain. (many monks don't even eat dinner to maximize their spirituality; ideally, dinner should be the smallest meal of the day and breakfast the biggest, but Americans do the opposite). The funny thing is, out of the countless varieties of diet fads in America, NONE of them tell you that an often very effective weight loss approach is to simply LIVE OUT of the USA (the only world that most Americans know of) for a while, perhaps a few months, living and eating daily as the locals do. Many who do this will notice significant weight loss. And they don't even have to eat less; they can eat the same amount of food. They simply need to eat food NOT manufactured and processed in the USA, which contains high amounts of preservatives, sugar and processed white flour, which are bad for your body, make you fat, and increase your risk of diabetes, cancer, etc. And perhaps combine that with taking public transportation, buses, trams, trains, etc. (in Europe, almost everywhere can be accessed that way) and walking everyday. THAT'S IT! It's as simple as that. And in addition, if you choose the right country to live or travel in, you'll have fun and become enriched in the process too! Can't beat that can you?.
It's as simple and natural as that. In effect, it's not really a dieting program cause you aren't even dieting. You are simply living and eating NATURALLY the way the rest of the world outside America does. If an overweight American does that, the longer he/she goes, the more gradually he/she will begin to look like people do in the non-US world, thin and height/weight proportionate. Sure, they may miss the sugary flavors and chemical additives in American food, which their body would crave from being deprived of it, but it's a small price to pay for good health and a normal body.
Yet NO media of any kind in the US seems to acknowledge or advocate this. How ignorant can all these US commercial industries be!? Perhaps they do know of this option, but because there is no commercial gain in sharing it, they don‘t?! Or, perhaps since they expect all Americans to slave away at working their whole lives, taking only 2 weeks paid vacation a year, going overseas for a few months simply isn‘t an option?! If so, it would be no surprise since according to the unintellectual US media, there is nothing outside the US except poverty, famine, disease, and warfare. They couldn‘t be more wrong of course. Whatever the case, such a simple and obvious weight loss option doesn't exist to America and its media, cause to them there is no world outside of America other than the one its media portrays to sell stories and ratings. And also, anything not possible in America is not possible anywhere else, they mistakenly assume. If going abroad is not an option for you at this point, the next best thing you can do to obtain the health and proportioned figure of the Europeans is by eating all organic foods, which are devoid of the high sugar, processed white flour, and preservatives of mainstream American food. Just go to your local health food store, co-o , natural food store and they will have plenty of organic food for you to choose from. Many regular supermarkets nowadays also have sections of organic produce, fruits and vegetables. They may cost more, but for your health and vitality, it‘s worth it. Your body will thank you for it"
"Now, I don‘t want to get into a detailed discussion about health care, since it‘s not my area. But basically, we all know that the healthcare system in America is a nightmare and scam of epic proportions. It‘s common knowledge throughout the world. Healthcare costs are one of the top causes of bankruptcy in America in fact. What I‘ve learned in that in pretty much all countries outside of America, including Canada, health care is either very affordable or free. And that‘s a major issue that plagues America, which even the US media admits to. The countries with free healthcare may pay higher taxes. But they are happy with it, and well taken care of. You can‘t put a price tag on health after all. But even when you do pay for a doctor overseas, the prices are very affordable, not astronomically high like in the US (without insurance). And even if someone is too poor to pay, they are NOT denied treatment. Not having health insurance though, is yet another way America punishes anyone who is not a workaholic drone." (By Winston Wu of happier abroad)
"While Canada and most European countries provide health care and some sort of social safety net, the United States is cruel; the motto seems to be "succeed or be damned." (Dark ages America by Morris Berman pg 38)
"Other industrial nations compensate for lower wages with government subsidized health insurance, child care, housing, and public transportation and the like.The United States leaves its citizens to fend for themselves". (Dark ages America by Morris Berman pg 60)
Anonymous internet comment by a foreigner
"Consider this: you are the only people in the developed world without a single-payer health system. Everyone in Western Europe, Japan, Canada, Australia, Singapore and New Zealand has a single-payer system. If they get sick, they can devote all their energies to getting well. If you get sick, you have to battle two things at once: your illness and the fear of financial ruin. Millions of Americans go bankrupt every year due to medical bills, and tens of thousands die each year because they have no insurance or insufficient insurance. And don’t believe for a second that rot about America having the world’s best medical care or the shortest waiting lists: I’ve been to hospitals in Australia, New Zealand, Europe, Singapore, and Thailand, and every one was better than the “good” hospital I used to go to back home. The waits were shorter, the facilities more comfortable, and the doctors just as good.
This is ironic, because you need a good health system more than anyone else in the world. Why? Because your lifestyle is almost designed to make you sick. With a diet guaranteed to make you sick and a health system designed to make sure you stay that way, what you really need is a long vacation somewhere. Unfortunately, you probably can’t take one. I’ll let you in on little secret: if you go to the beaches of Thailand, the mountains of Nepal, or the coral reefs of Australia, you’ll probably be the only American in sight. And you’ll be surrounded crowds of happy Germans, French, Italians, Israelis, Scandinavians and wealthy Asians. Why? Because they’re paid well enough to afford to visit these places AND they can take vacations long enough to do so. Even if you could scrape together enough money to go to one of these incredible places, by the time you recovered from your jetlag, it would time to get on a plane and rush back to your job.
The fact is, they work you like dogs in the United States. This should come as no surprise: the United States never got away from the plantation/sweat shop labor model. All this begs the question: Why would anyone put up with this? Ask any American and you’ll get the same answer: because America is the freest country on earth. If you believe this, I’ve got some more bad news for you: America is actually among the least free countries on earth."
FEARMONGERING and IGNORANCE responsible for Americans' fear of Universal health care
A personal testimony (Source - How I lost my fear of Universal Health care )
"When I got pregnant shortly after moving, I was apprehensive. Would I even be able to have a home birth like I had experienced with my first 2 babies? Universal Health Care meant less choice right? So I would be forced to do whatever the medical system dictated regardless of my feelings, because of the government mandate. I even talked some of having my baby across the border in the US, where I could pay out of pocket for whatever birth I wanted. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that Midwives were not only covered by the Universal health care, they were encouraged! Even for hospital births. In Canada, Midwives and Dr’s were both respected, and often worked together.
Fast forward a little past the Canadian births of my third and fourth babies. I had better prenatal care than I had ever had in the States. I came in regularly for appointments to check on my health and my babies’ health throughout my pregnancy, and I never had to worry about how much a test cost or how much the blood draw fee was. I didn’t have to skip my ultrasound because of the expense. With my pregnancies in the States, I had limited my checkups to only a handful to keep costs down. When I went in to get the shot I needed because of my negative blood type, in Canada it was covered. In fact I got the recommended 2 doses instead of the more risky 1 dose because I didn’t have to worry about the expense. I had a wide array of options and flexibility when it came to my birth, and care providers that were more concerned with my health and the health of my baby than how much money they might make based on my birth, or what might impact their reputation best. When health care is universal, doctors are free to recommend and provide the best care for every patient instead of basing their care on what each patient can afford.
I started to feel differently about Universal government mandated and regulated Health care. I realized how many times my family had avoided hospital care because of our lack of coverage. When I mentioned to Canadians that I had been in a car accident as a teen and hadn’t gone into the hospital, they were shocked! Here, you always went to the hospital, just in case. And the back pain I had endured ever since would have been investigated and cared for with whatever X-rays, Physiotherapy or even Surgery that was needed, which would have been at no cost to me. In our particular province, even chiropractic care was provided after a car accident by the provincial care insurance.When I asked for prayers for my little brother who had been burned in an accident, they were all puzzled why the story did not include immediately rushing him to the hospital. When they asked me to clarify and I explained that many people in the States are not insured and they try to put off medical care unless absolutely needed, they literally could not comprehend such a thing. I started to wonder why I had been so opposed to government mandated Universal Health care.
Almost every country in the Western world has Universal Health coverage of some kind. except the USA. Here in Canada, everyone was covered. If they worked full-time, if they worked part-time, or if they were homeless and lived on the street, they were all entitled to the same level of care if they had a medical need. People actually went in for routine check-ups and caught many of their illnesses early, before they were too advanced to treat. People were free to quit a job they hated, or even start their own business without fear of losing their medical coverage. In fact, the only real complaint I heard about the Universal Health Care from the Canadians themselves, was that sometimes there could be a wait time before a particular medical service could be provided. But even that didn’t seem to be that bad to me, in the States most people had to wait for medical care, or even be denied based on their coverage.
The only people guaranteed immediate and full service in the USA, were those with the best (and most expensive) health coverage or wads of cash they could blow. In Canada, the wait times were usually short, and applied to everyone regardless of wealth. If you were discontent with the wait time (and had the money to cover it) you could always travel out of the country to someplace where you could demand a particular service for a price. Personally, I never experienced excessive wait times, I was accepted for maternity care within a few days or weeks, I was able to find a family care provider nearby easily and quickly, and when a child needed to be brought in for a health concern I was always able to get an appointment within that week.With Universal coverage, a mother pregnant unexpectedly would still have health care for her pregnancy and birth even if she was unemployed, had to quit her job, or lost her job. If she was informed that she had a special needs baby on the way, she could rest assured knowing in Canada her child’s health care needs would be covered. Whether your child needs therapy, medicines, a caregiver, a wheelchair, or repeated surgeries, it would be covered by the health care system. Here, you never heard of parents joining the army just so their child’s “pre-existing” health care needs could be covered. In fact, when a special needs person becomes an adult in Canada, they are eligible for a personal care assistant covered by the government. We saw far more developmentally or physically disabled persons out and about in Canada, than I ever see here in the USA. They would be getting their groceries at the store, doing their business at the bank, and even working job, all with their personal care assistant alongside them, encouraging them and helping them when they needed it.
I also discovered that the Canadian government looked out for its families in other ways. The country mandates one year of paid maternity leave, meaning a woman having a baby gets an entire year after the birth of her baby to recover and parent her new baby full-time, while still receiving 55% of her salary and her job back at the end of that year. Either parent can use the leave, so some split it, with one parent staying at home for 6 months and the other staying at home for 6 months. I could hardly believe my ears when I first heard it. In America, women routinely had to return to work after 6 weeks leave, many times unpaid. Many American women lost their jobs when becoming pregnant or having a baby. I knew people who had to go back to work 2 weeks after giving birth just to hang onto their job and continue making enough money to pay the bills. Also every child in Canada gets a monthly cash tax benefit. The wealthier families can put theirs into a savings account to pay for college someday (which also costs far less money in Canada by the way), the not so wealthy can use theirs to buy that car seat or even groceries. In the province we lived in, we also received a monthly day care supplement check for every child under school age. I made more money being a stay at home mom in Canada than I do in the States working a part-time close to a minimum wage job. And none of the things I listed here are considered “welfare” they are available to every Canadian regardless of income. For those with lower incomes than we had there are other supports in place as well.
Paid maternity leave around the world
If a woman gets pregnant unexpectedly in America, she has to worry about how she will get her own prenatal care, medical care for her child, whether or not she will be able to keep her job and how she will pay for daycare for her child so she can continue to support her family. In Canada those problems are eliminated or at least reduced. Where do you think a woman is more likely to feel supported in her decision to keep her baby, and therefore reduce abortions?
Since of all of these benefits are available to everyone, I never heard Canadians talking about capping their incomes to remain lower income and not lose their government provided health coverage. Older people in Canada don’t have to clean out their assets to qualify for some Medicare or Social Security programs, I knew older people who went in for procedure after procedure, and we never heard about dwindling resources, kids paying for their parents medical expenses, or being forced to use up life insurance or funeral savings in order to get the health care they needed. I heard of inheritances being left even amongst the middle classes. Something I had only heard about in wealthy families in the USA.
And lest you think that the Canada system is draining the government resources, their budget is very close to balanced every year. They’ve had these programs for decades. Last year Canada’s national debt was 586 billion dollars, the USA has 15.5 million dollars in national debt. Canada has about one 10th the population of the US, so even accounting for size, the USA is almost 3 times more indebted. And lest you think that taxes are astronomical, our median income taxes each year were only slightly higher than they had been in the States, and we still got a large chunk of it back each year at tax time.
In the end, I don’t see Universal health care as an evil thing anymore.
Comparing the two systems, which one better values the life of each person?
Which system is truly more family friendly? "
My commentary - Health insurance in the US is the biggest con in the world! One of the things that makes America so insane is how we have to bare to watch these "feel good" commercials by these liars we call "health insurance companies". These healthcare commercials advertise how they are there to take care of you and how they care about you etc. They try to instill the warm fuzzies in their commercials. Its absolutley sickening because as anyone who has had any major medical procedures can tell you, these insurance companies always find ways to wiggle out of their obligations. For example, in their plan brochure the charts will say 100% covered after deductible. What a Lie! What ends up happening is that you find out that 100% covered really means 100% covered on the items that are covered! Do you see the play on words that leaves them room to wiggle out of their obligations? Do you see the lies and deception in that? In addition, Health care companies will often tell you that the proven "life saving" procedure that you need is "Experimental and Investigational" so they will not pay for it.
By Winston Wu of happier abroad
In America, when you walk alone into a public eating place, you are expected to eat alone. Not so in other countries fortunately, where you can walk into a café, restaurant, fast food place, even Pizza Hut or McDonald‘s, and meet women, join them or ask them to join you.
Here are some examples with photos. In Krakow, Poland, my buddy Robert and I were in a Pizza Hut there. I saw three nice girls sitting together there, and invited them to join us. We ended up lightheartedly chatting for a few hours, and Robert arranged a language exchange relationship with one of them. Now keep in mind that these were not floosy or slutty type girls, but proper, goody-two-shoes Catholic girls. Here is their photo below that I took.
"Likewise, in Russia, I met girls in McDonald‘s easily who let me join them. For example, take a look at these two nice looking law students in Moscow that chatted me up"
Here I am with them:
And here are some more girls I met at either McDonald‘s or public cafes in Russia:
Here, even some drunk guys at an outdoor café salute me just for the hell of it, rather than ignore everything and everyone around them like they would in the US:
Now, anyone in their right mind in America will tell you that meeting girls like that in the USA at public eating places is inappropriate and out of bounds. If I were to try to meet girls I didn‘t know in Pizza Hut or McDonald‘s in the US, they would get offended and look at me like ?Who the hell are you?! I don‘t know you! You aren‘t supposed to approach strangers like this! If you don‘t believe me, go and try it.
Americans are so hung up against talking to strangers, that they can only do it with alcohol in their systems. Otherwise, only creeps and criminals talk to strangers in American society.
"When Mother Teresa visited America, she said we are a poor nation overall in a spiritual sense. America's poverty, she said, is worse than that of India's, for it is that of a terrible loneliness that come from wanting the wrong things." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 237)
"The United States is like Rome in the later stages of the empire: a similarly souless, politically corrupt, everybody-for-himself civilization." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 77).
Winston WU of happier abroad
“The American environment is unusually ISOLATING and LONELY, compared to the rest of the world that is. America is a corporate machine where people are all business. There is no true connection, friendship, bonding or community with others. Communication is usually business related and people are segregated psychologically. Friendships, and even relationships, are mostly FACADES.
"It seems clear enough that when you put money (or commodities) at the center of culture, you finally don't have a culture. Indeed, the Germans have a word to describe this type of situation: sinnentleert ("devoid of meaning"). America can strut and puff all it wants, but on some level, all of us know this (it struts and puffs because it is empty.) After all, Rome may have looked invincible in, say, A.. 300, but history proved otherwise."(Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 77)
Americans falsely believe that more work and more money will make you happier
CNBC news article - http://finance.yahoo.com/news/money-cant-happy-heres-113736585.html
"You ask the question 'can money make us happy' and the evidence shows that it doesn't. The evidence we get is that we get richer and richer but we don't get any happier," Robert Skidelsky, the economic historian and co-author of a book on modern capitalism entitled "How Much Is Enough" told CNBC on Wednesday. The "basic goods" conducive to a happy life include health, education, leisure, friendship and harmony with nature
They advocated that work should be breaks from leisure , rather than people taking breaks from work.
"We're on a treadmill, a work treadmill, a growth treadmill, for what end? We don't even ask the question. It's just more and more accumulation."
Insight into why 9/11 happened - by cultural historian Morris Berman
"Our lives are overwhlemed by (often meaningless) work, existence is trivialized and super saturated by the media, children are indoctrinated with corporate consumerist ideology, and communities are destroyed by technologies of isolation and privatization. Everything is disintegrated: human bonds, work, romantic partnerships, and communities. Such things are seen only as items meant to be consumed. The loss of culture that we have experienced has left America with a "mass individualism"....no wonder fundamentalists of every kind see us as a moral threat. Which brings us back to September 11, and the so called attack on civilization. Was it really that? Is America really the standard bearer of a genuine civilization that it was, say, only sixty years ago? America sees the rest of the world as one big happy market to be exploited. There are undoubtedly many reasons for the 9/11 attacks, but the fear that the American technocultural wasteland will, via US foreign Policy, overwhelm the Islamic nations surely has to be high on the list. I am no fan of fundamentlist regimes. Traditional or tribal cultures are typically repressive, hierarchical, and claustrophobic; the way they treat women (just for starters) says enough, as far as I'm concerned. But they do have one thing that we seem to lack: a spiritual center, a mode of guidance (focal practice) that s deeper than the world of commodities and consumerism. Hence the impulse behind Jihad is nothing less than "a holy struggle against something that is seen as evil. A large percentage of of Muslims and Arabs view TV programs such as Dynasty or The Simpsons or Sex in the CIty as part of a Western Plot to destroy their religious values; they feel they are being colonized by Nike asnd McDonald's and by the 'garbage' of American media. Should we be so surprised that they applaud our deaths?
Kishore Mahbubani, who served as Singapore's permanent representative to the United Nations and deputy secretary of foreign affairs, points out that between 1960 and 1995 violent crime in the United States has increased 560%, single mother births went up 419%, and divorce rates and numbers of children living in single parent homes both climbed by 300%. This, he says is massive social decay. Many a society shudders at the prospect of this happening on its shores (If the family is unstable, the society is unstable). Egyptian writer Sayyid Qutb - dubbed the "intellectual grandfather to Osama Bin Laden" by the New York Times - once put it in a postcard he mailed from New York , "If the world became America it would be the disaster of humanity".
This concern - that the cultural impact of the West, the power of its economic and technological juggernaut, will seduce the Muslim world and thereby destroy it's spiritual integrity- is a key anxiety for that world that goes back a long way. From a Muslim perspective then, the modern West is inevitably going to appear godless and shallow." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America).
It is probably not an accident that Mohammed Atta, who coordinated the attack on the World Trade Center, wrote his thesis on the Islamic City, on the fabric of tradition that one finds in the market place of Aleppo. Here, he wrote, in the labyrinth of souks, the open booths ofsmall merchants, one finds real human interaction - courtesy, dignity, and charm- as a matter of course, in contrast to the cold, dismissive attitudes of checkout persons in the West. As Malise Ruthven puts it, Western social interactions are crude and formulaic." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 77)
In other countries - People come first, work comes second - by cultural historian Morris Berman
"In October 2002 I was doing a lecture tour in Mexico, and began by flying from Mexico City to Mazatlan, where the first conference was being held. I arrived at the Mexico City airport with two Mexican friends , and after checking our luggage and getting our boarding passes we went to the food court to have breakfast. Coffee and muffins in hand, we began to look for a place to sit; all the tables were taken. We finally asked two businessmen in their forties, who were sitting at a table and busily working together on a project, if we could sit down. "Si, si, naturalmente." They immediately put their work aside, we all introduced ourselves and shook hands, and then we made polite conversation for the next fifteen minutes. The message was clear: people (not to mention courtesy) come first; work comes second. As a grngo witnessing this ritual, I was astounded. I hadn't been in Mexico since 1989, and I guess I forgot how different the ethos was. In a comparable situation in the United States, the American counterparts to these two men woul have looked up briefly, grunted, and then returned to their work. No introductions or small talk would have taken place; when they - or we- departed, there might have been at most a brief nod (probably not). As a Mexican California migrant worker once remarked to his family, on a return visit south of the border over the Christmas hliday, "The gringos don't like to be reminded that they are corpses".
"Much of the American landscape has been turned into a kind of endless commercial - roads dotted with chain food outlets and gas stations and quick stop marts. Alternatively, we have walled-off communities and isolated corporate headquarters, which give off a sanitary, impersonal feeling. Our landscapes reveal a nation rules by economic forces with little vision beyond the dollar." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 46).
One foreigner had this to say:
”Americans generally live mind-numbing lives in mind-numbing environments (especially in suburban America) that do not cultivate intellectual or spiritual growth. Contrary to the US propaganda about itself, in reality the American lifestyle for the most part is MIND-NUMBING and ISOLATING. Cookie cutter houses, endless strip malls filled with the same stores (i.e blockbuster, McDonalds etc) Having to drive everywhere and spending every night watching television or DVD’s in big isolated houses. Weekends nothing to do but shop at the malls. I always felt half dead whenever I spent significant amounts of time in America. American culture values flash over substance, superficial consumerism over spiritual growth. It’s a country that is built for doing business not living life. Americans have few real interests. So much for the American lifestyle. There aren’t many experiences or interactions to expand your mind and soul like there are in other countries.“
"How can we meet intrinsic community needs when sprawl creates distances between people? How can we feel a sense of beauty, security, and balance if beautiful open spaces in our communities are being smothered by new shopping malls and rows of identical houses?" (Affluenza, pg 119)
"Shopping malls have really become the centers of many communities. Children as well as adults see a shopping center as just the natural destination to fill a bored life" (Affluenza, pg 14-19)
"Author Robert Kagan's assessment (on America) - While the American norm is to throw one's life away in frantic, workaholic competition for money and power, Europeans take time to savor what life is really all about. With their social safety net, generous pension plans, "extended" holidays and maternity leaves, and concern for nature and the environment, these folks have created a way of life that should be the envy of the world. Their cities are beautiful and organic, designed for human beings, not for corporations or commuters. Europe is certainly not perfect, but it is far more humane" (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 295)
"So many Americans possess what might be called a kind of "life stupidity": they haven't a clue as to what the good life really is. Like Edward G Robinson in Key Largo, they think it amounts to a single word: more." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 295)
One older Indian immigrant had the following to say about America: "You know when you first come here, it's very exciting, because the possibilities seem endless. Then you get embedded in the system, and begin to see how limited you really are. Everybody in America works constantly. They have no time to enjoy anything. Even the simple enjoyment of being alive escapes them." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 295)
"Of course some sociologists have argued that Americans have no choice, that they have to work like slaves, given the absence of generous pensions, subsidized college education, universal health care, long paid vacations and maternity leave, and other benefits that Europeans take for granted. Perhaps; but who agreed to this, after all? I dont know how far one can push the "false consciousness" argument in this case. Having bought into a pernicious philosophy that everyone has to make it by themselves, that there is and should be no free lunch, that these sorts of benefits are "socialistic" and therefore evil, Americans have only themselves to blame for a life riddled with pervasive insecurity, which leaves them without a moment to breathe. For Europeans, states one European commissioner ofr economic affairs, economic growth is a means, not an end - something Americans lilterally cannot fathom. Numerous polls have shown that Europeans are only too happy to pay high taxes to get social services in return, and they understand that their lower rates of child poverty, incarceration, illiteracy, homicide, suicide, and the like are the result of this." (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 322)
Winston Wu of happier abroad describes it like this:
"Just look at the general cookie-cutter architecture in America such as suburban homes, strip malls, corporate buildings, franchise stores, etc. and you will see that it all symbolizes and represents a conformist creed and mentality. In contrast to the general bland cookie-cutter appearance of buildings in America that have no character, the rich architecture in Europe/Russia is vivid, surreal, colorful, stimulating, with a lot of character and rich with culture. In Europe/Russia, the culture and architecture puts most places in the USA, especially suburban America, to shame and emptiness. There are gorgeous museums and structures everywhere to stimulate your mind, intellect, and imagination. You are constantly stimulated by everything around you, so you barely notice the time passing and you feel intrigued by every moment"
As Winston Wu describes in the quote above, American culture is not very rich or spiritual. Its actually pretty bland and souless. Yet ironically, most Americans tend to think of their culture as superior to most of the world
In Europe/Russia, the architecture is rich, stimulating, colorful, historic, and full of character/personality. Even Russia, which is considered by the US as a third world country, looks much more "established" culturally and historically than the USA. Even small towns in Europe look richer and more cultural than in the US, as you can see in these photos below:
In contrast, see these suburban strip malls in the US, designed without regard for style, culture, or personality, but for uniformity, efficiency and commercial use.
The bland lifeless characterless architecture of the US makes the national weight epidemic even worse cause its environment just isn't stimulating enough for people to go out and take walks as it is in Europe/Russia.
"The architectural historian Vincent Scully once remarked that a society will build what it values. What, then, does our society value? What we see is a society dominated by values and concerns of the market. (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 47)
"The physical arrangements of our lives mirror the spiritual ones" (Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 251)
As they say, we are the product of our environment.
Winston Wu of happier abroad hits the nail on the head when he said the following statement in his book:
"One thing I‘ve learned is that as you travel abroad, you begin to realize that your view of your country from outside of it is very different than from inside of it. In a country, you tend to think within its insular environment and vibe. But outside of it, you are able to view it from a more detached viewpoint. As with anything, you tend to view something much more clearly when you're out of it than when you are in it. In fact, many Americans have reported that after spending extensive time abroad, that they find American culture to be a lot more fake and superficial in comparison now than before. Therefore, keep in mind that your perspective will change from now as you travel internationally more. To most Americans the notion that something outside America is –better is unthinkable. Therefore, this simple –secret goes against what we‘ve been conditioned us to believe. Also, it is taboo and unpatriotic to say that something in another country is better than what you have in yours. Doing so makes you look like a traitor and a loser. So you have to let go of that and learn to see the world as your home, not just your nation."
Typical statement made by those who finally get outside of the US and live amongst the people of other cultures (not just as tourists)
Unless you actually go see what most other cultures are like, you don’t have any perspective for realizing how plastic, fake, and disconnected most of American culture really is compared to most cultures of the world. Other cultures are more warm, humble, down to earth, genuine, expressive, passionate, and connected which leads to better mental health and happiness in life.
“Growing up in New York, I’ve become well-accustomed to people, including myself, being very dry, standoffish, and dare I say,arrogant and cocky at times. What impresses me the most about South America is that people there aren’t afraid of expressing themselves — they touch you when they want to, they speak frankly about their woes and joys, they impulsively ask you to dance, kiss, or to go on an adventure with them without hesitation. And though I must admit that it isn’t entirely fair to compare two different cultures — each one being independently influenced by their respective languages, economies, and international “standards” — I can’t help but to see a different light being radiated throughout South America. One that my eyes weren’t used to seeing until I started my journey below the equator five years-ago.” (Source http://mindpetals.com/the-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-living-in-south-america/ )
"The pervading (American) culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship." (Jean Twenge)
Oprah Winfrey talks to Tom Shadyac about his new movie “I AM” describing the unhealthy competitive nature of US culture
This famous hollywood producer’s research reveals that American culture is “Competitive” rather than cooperative like most other cultures (such as Latin America, Asia, Europe). American culture measures success by artificial measures such as wealth and job status, this creates a competitive atmosphere where a society divides its members into winners and losers. This individualistic competitive environment has made the USA the world leader in mental illness.
“Several years ago, Tom Shadyac seemed to have it all: a multimillion-dollar career directing Hollywood blockbusters like Bruce Almighty and The Nutty Professor, a 17,000-square-foot mansion, fancy cars, the luxury of flying in private jets, invitations to extravagant parties and more. It was a life many people dream about.
Despite these many luxuries, Tom says something just didn't feel right.
"I was standing in the house that my culture had taught me was a measure of the good life," Tom recalls in his documentary I Am. "I was struck with one very clear, very strange feeling: I was no happier."Tom says that part of what's wrong with our world—and the lie that he says he was living—is our culture's definition of success.
"[We have] a very extrinsic model of success," he explains. "You have to have a certain job status, a certain amount of wealth. ... I think true success is intrinsic. ... It's love. It's kindness. It's community." (Go visit any latin american or asian village or town, you see this cooperative nature in action. The people are so much more happier, more authentic, genuine, and mentally well adjusted compared to Americans who are indivudualistic and competitive to the point of dividing it’s societal members into winners and losers which creates the highest rate of depression, stress, and mental illness in the entire world!!!)
As Tom journeyed on his quest to find out what would truly make him happy and help unearth what's wrong with our world, he made major changes to his lifestyle. Today, Tom lives in a modest mobile home, bikes to work and flies commercial airlines—and he says he's never been happier. (This is why foreigners from cooperative cultures are far more happier than americans are. For example, Nigeria, one of the poorest nations on Earth ranks at the top of most happiness surveys! And these foreigners who grew up in these cooperative mindset cultures tend to make for more stable and more psychologically well balanced relationship partners)
To find out why the world is the way it is, Tom explored the readings of scientists, philosophers, poets and others, and spoke with thought leaders, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, scientist Dean Radin, researcher Rollin McCraty of the HeartMath Institute, journalist Lynn McTaggart, professor Dacher Keltner of U.C. Berkeley, author Thom Hartmann and more.
What he discovered revolves around three key concepts that are explored in I Am:
1. It is scientifically proven that the entire human race is connected.
2. It is human nature to be cooperative rather than competitive.
3. If you don't do what your heart wants you to do and follow your passion, it will destroy you.
In I Am, Tom says, "There's one fundamental law that all of nature obeys that mankind breaks every day. Now, this is a law that's evolved over billions of years, and the law is this: Nothing in nature takes more than it needs."
In our culture, however, humans often take more than they need by buying large homes, driving expensive cars and living excessively, as Tom says he did.
(Our “research section” documents numerous social psychologists who say that when people focus their efforts on gaining material wealth and possessions, they become unhappy and depressed)
"We have a term for something in the body when it takes more than its share," Tom says in the documentary. "We call it cancer."
Tom says he didn't want to be a part of that cancer—he wanted to be a part of the healing. "We must lose this cancerous idea that we have to take everything we can," he says.
In a culture that takes more than it needs and gets caught up in the quest for wealth and power, Oprah says that one of the ways we've gotten so off course is the obsession with celebrity.
Tom: Celebrity should be celebrated. We should celebrate you and others for your talent. For your gift. ... [However,] when we put people on a pedestal, [we get] in the way of our authentic selves.(When you travel abroad and REALLY get to know the other cultures around the world, you discover that Americans are actually some of the least authentic people in the world. Rather, many of us tend to superficial and plastic but we don’t realize it!)
Oprah: Aren't we the feeder system? Everybody who's watching it? We're the feeder system. You can see how it reflects us, and we reflect it.
Tom: The audience—you guys have all the power. You see, you have to stop elevating us. I don't want to be your hero. I want to be your brother. You know, I want to be your family member. I want to be your equal. And if you start seeing things as they are, like as the divine sees it...who will celebrate the women who swept this floor as much as any artist because she is an artist too. We're all artists. If you guys start doing that, it will change.
A big revelation in I Am is that our culture is wrongly built around the idea of competition. Tom says in the film, "That's pretty much the message that I got as a kid: 'Separate yourself from the pack.' 'Be number one.' And 'Win."(Once again, we see more evidence that are claim about American culture being a “competitive” rather than a “cooperative” one is supported. See our research section where social psychologists such as Jean Twenge say that American culture is a “competitive” culture that divides its citizens into winners and losers. In other words, someone must lose in order for someone to win. This is extremely unhealthy and leads to a sick society. America has the highest rate of mental illness in the entire world.)
Though our culture may be built around competition, I Am strives to answer the question of whether it's competition or cooperation that is the essential nature of humans.
"If you talk to people in aboriginal or indigenous cultures, you find the highest societal values is cooperation. And competition is a very low value. And competition beyond certain boundaries is considered mental illness," says author Thom Hartmann in I Am. "You look at our culture, and cooperation is considered a relatively low value. And competition is considered the highest value. We celebrate the most powerful competitors."
But is competition the true essence of human nature? Thom says that scientists decided to test this hypothesis and found that it is not.
"What [scientists] found was that democracy was being played out literally every day by ... animals," Thom says. He recalls his own experiences of going scuba diving and seeing schools of fish dart around as a collective group, and also remembers watching flocks of birds in his backyard fly together and change directions suddenly while still remaining together. (This is why foreign cultures have little to no mental illness and are far healthier, and produce far healthier and well balanced marriage partners!!)
"How did they know?" Thom asks. "Well, it turns out, when you do the slow-motion photography, they're all voting literally with every wing beat or with every gill beat. They're voting hundreds of times a minute. And [the scientists] said, 'We found this from insects all the way up to primates.' The basis of nature is cooperation and democracy. It's in our DNA."
Another one of the important concepts in I Am is one that Oprah has said for years: If you don't do what your heart wants you to do and follow your passion, it will destroy you.
"People find happiness in direct proportion to doing what they love," she says. "If you don't do what you love, you die a little every day."
Following one's heart may require him or her to make changes in life, and the way people change, Tom says, is to ask questions. The main question he wants people to ask themselves is this: Who are you? Not what your culture has told you to be, but who are you on the inside?(This is what my exposure to foreign cultures, especially the Philippines culture, has taught me! Seeing how other cultures live, how close they are to each other, how connected they are, how supportive of each other they are, …..It set me free!! I now could care less about what American society tells me what I should do or what it thinks of me!! (i.e you’re a loser if you live at home or if don’t have a certain job or make a certain amount of money, drive a certain car etc) . I now realize that its America that is sick and dysfunctional, not me. Guys, set yourself free by exposing your spirit and soul to the healthy vibe of non western foreign cultures (i.e. latin America, asia, russia).Feel what it feels like to be amongst healthy “inclusive” societies where there is no artificial measure of a person based on status and wealth.
"And we have a endless "me-first" competition that we conduct with one another in lieu of having any real community."(Morris Berman Dark Ages America pg 265).
“Today’s unfettered celebration of wealth and the things money can buy has created an in your face “I’m rich and you’re not” attitude thatpigeonholes people as winners or losers, princes or paupers“ (Affluenza, pg 81)
“GM is placing a big bet that the decade long trend toward larger and more aggressive looking sport utility vehicles will continue, according to the New York Times. “It’s like a tank with fashion” says one teenager quoted by the times. The kid says he loves the Hummer because “I like something where I can look down into another car and give that knowing smile that says ‘I’m bigger than you’. It makes me feel powerful” (Affluenza, pg 27)
Winston WU of happier abroad
“Americans are raised with a COMPETITIVE mindsetwhere they see others as potential enemies to watch out for. Competition divides people and is unhealthy in the long run. After all, if your heart and your liver competed with each other, would that be good for your body and health? Thus Americans don't really trust other people, and they feel all alone because there is no one for them to lean on. They have NO EMOTIONAL SUPPORT from others, and so they stand alone, which WEAKENS and FRAGMENTS them psychologically”
"In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one ofcompetitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship." (Jean Twenge Generation me)
“The narcissism of American women, unrealistic entitlement standards, lack of commitment, princess attitude, not needing men, not liking nice men, mistreating men, hating and despising men, being too picky, being paranoid of strangers, etc. etc. are all real and objectively proven. They are not mere opinions in the minds of frustrated men. They are well documented and proven, as you can see in Steve's Research Report.
What I'm saying is that, the problem is not all in the minds of the dateless frustrated men in America. The problem in American women is very real, provable, and factual.
After all, in other countries, there are no movements of dateless guys who can't find a decent woman. That logically says that the problem is in America, not in a group of frustrated guys.”
"Meeting a thousand girls without getting a date: In other countries, if I meet say around ten girls, I am pretty much guaranteed at least 2 or 3 dates from it. And that's so even in a conservative country. But the US is the only country I know of where I could meet a hundred or a thousand girls and still end up with zero dates, as they all blow me off for one reason or another, even though I'm a decent looking guy with good character and personality. That's just the way it is. Even if you say that the problem is me and that this is uncommon, you still have to deal with the issue of why this isn't true outside the US."
by Winston WU of happier abroad
"Now, get this. Amazingly, during my whole time growing up in California, I was always told that I lacked confidence, had low self-esteem, was too pessimistic and negative, and had a bad attitude about myself. But in Russia, Europe, and the Philippines especially, I've often been told the exact opposite - that I am very confident, outgoing, brave, and optimistic/positive. In fact, many say I have too much confidence and am so very brave. Some have even said that I'm the most confident guy they've ever met. How could that be, you might ask? Well for one thing, something in the US seems to stint my mental/emotional growth, and the essence of who I am. I've never flourished in the strange culture in California of ego, image, cliques, coolness, etc. I never fit into it nor did I ever have a place in it. I've always wilted in California, and felt uncomfortable. As a result, it made me shy, introverted, timid, and socially inept.
Since I felt uncool and unwanted, with no reason to go out, there was no reason to even be confident. Simply, I wasn't allowed to be confident. And even if I tried to mimic confidence, it would accomplish nothing, cause I was simply "out of place". Acting confident (or pseudo-confident) didn't bring any results. In short, the California people and environment treated me like sh** which brought out the worst in me. On the other hand, in the other countries that I've flourished in, I felt cool, attractive, popular, and socially successful, cause that's how I was treated. My confidence and self-esteem naturally went up as a result, based on how I was treated and how easily I could make friends, meet people, and date beautiful women. In short, these environments and cultures brought out the best in me, allowing me to be the "social butterfly" that I am, and accelerated my mental/emotional growth to having a positive/optimistic/confident attitude. So basically, I gained all my confidence, self-esteem, guts/bravery, optimistic attitude, and all the positive traits of my personality overseas, not in the US. In retrospect, my mental/emotional growth and maturity level in the US was stinted early on, leaving my maturity and EQ (emotional quotient) level far below my chronological age. I simply had no experiences in the US in which to "grow up" or "evolve". It was only through the redemption of my overseas experiences and adventures, that my mental/emotional levels were accelerated forward at such a rate to bring my maturity and EQ into alignment with my chronological linear age. As a result, my mental health, attitude, self-esteem, confidence, wisdom, EQ and optimism all shot up to positive levels toward "self-actualization" (in Maslow's terms). That is how I was "redeemed" from my misfortune and no-win predicament in the US. Contrary to the belief of fake mono-national Californians that it‘s all about attitude, in my firsthand experience it‘s all about chemistry and location."
Personal commentary - One thing that drives me nuts is when some Americans say "it's your attitude that is the problem, not American women or the US culture". But then the one thing that these Americans cannot explain is why these same people DO NOT HAVE THE SAME PROBLEMS (i.e connecting with others, making friends, and meeting and dating beautiful women) when they are abroad. Its very similar to the way people in America will tell you “you have problems in America because you lack confidence”. Yet they cannot explain then why these same people have GREAT success in other cultures. If the problem was truly within them, then it would stand to reason that nothing would change by switching cultures. But the truth is that for most, EVERYTHING does change when switching cultures. And lastly, even if a guy goes abroad and has great success and comes back to the US totally confident, it still doesn’t change his luck with meeting and dating attractive women. So the claims of these “know it alls” cant explain these truths.
More on this victim blaming mentality of US culture from Winston Wu of happier abroad
A type of "victim-blaming" people are what I call "Attitude fanatics" include various types of people ranging from tough macho types to New Age hippies, positive-thinking fanatics, and pop psychology followers. These people believe vehemently and live by such following statements:
“You create your own reality; thoughts create reality.”
“No one is a victim; everything bad that happens to you happened cause YOU created or chose it. Everything is a choice. You are at fault for everything you complain about. You are the problem.”
“Attitude is everything. If anything goes wrong in your life, it must be cause your attitude made it go wrong.”
These mantras go in line with the popular trend in New Age and pop psychology thinking that thoughts create reality, though not all "attitude fanatics" are New Agers. These people view the world through rose-colored glasses. Though they do their best to have a positive mindset, they are often in denial of reality (and will deny your reality too if it doesn’t fit in with theirs), and anything that doesn’t fit into the world they choose. They don’t live in the real world, but rather in a world of their own choosing in which everything and everyone is good and positive. Such people may be great to hang out with sometimes, but they are difficult to have a realistic discussion with.
This victim-blaming mentality is very narrow and judgmental. It's their way of condemning someone they find annoying, but it has nothing to do with reality. Complaining about some result doesn't create the result in the first place, as if the post-complaint somehow somehow went backwards in time to create the result it complained about. Yeah right. The result led to the complaint, not the other way. To claim it's the other way would be like saying that a baby caused its mother's pregnancy. It's nonsensical. This tactic of the attitude fanatic annoys me because they focus on something unrelated to the heart of the problem at hand. In short, they are always pointing the finger at the wrong cause.
In the attitude fanatic's world, attitude is the cause and solution for everything. Anytime someone complains about going through bad circumstances, they tell them that their "attitude is the problem" as if it's the magical solution to all. There are a number of problems with this.
1) First, it is quite presumptuous for these attitude fanatics and victim-blamers to try to pretend they know what the problem is without seriously investigating it, as if they were omnipotent.
2) Second, a bad attitude does not cause bad circumstances in most cases, unless the person is in complete control of all factors around him/her. Rather, the circumstances cause the attitude usually. So they have it backwards.
3) Third, this ideology presumes that merely fixing one's attitude and making it positive will turn the circumstances positive, which is a vain wish that is not true in reality, only in the hyped imaginary world of the attitude fanatic.
4) Finally, if it were true that positive attitude = positive circumstances and negative attitude = negative circumstances, then everyone could get all that they want and produce nothing but advantageous circumstances by merely having a positive attitude. The simple formula that “attitude cures all” would have been figured out centuries ago and habitually used. But unfortunately, reality is not like that, hence that's why not everyone has a hokey positive attitude all the time. I'm not trying to be a pessimist here, just telling how it is.
A lot of these attitude fanatics seem to like to make absurd leaps in logic. When I describe my results, for example, they prefer to focus on attitude. For instance, if I complain about constant rejection from women (even those that I have a lot in common with), many automatically claim that I get rejected because I have the "attitude" that I'm getting rejected. What the @#$%? What are these people smoking? That is the most inate logic I've ever seen. The claim had NOTHING to do with my attitude (since I have projected 100 percent positive attitudes around women, yet they still thought I wasn't their type and made lame ass excuses not to spend time with me), but with results.
Furthermore, with regard to online communication, 95 percent of American girls stop talking to me when they see my picture, even a nice handsome looking one of me. And this happens even if we have a lot in common or they like my personality/self-description. On the other hand, European and foreign women don’t tend to disappear after seeing my picture. It’s a huge and real difference (proving once again for the millionth time, that people are NOT the same everywhere as the naïve and politically correct like to think). Now, what does that have to do with my attitude, especially since they don’t see me in person? Nothing of course. It’s obvious common sense that attitude fanatics always fail to take into account.
The truth is, if I didn't get rejected so much, I wouldn't complain about it. And not complaining about it doesn't reverse the result. I don't get rejected due to bad attitude or bad behavior. I get rejected cause I’m not the type of guy that women want. Though I’m not ugly, I don’t arouse them, do not project a masculine vibe, am not a macho pig, or they aren’t interested, don’t have feelings for me, don’t feel romantic chemistry. Sometimes, the women I date are just changeable, even if they were interested in me to begin with. I’ve never been dumped or flaked out on and told by the girl that it was due to bad attitude or behavior. In fact, they always tell me that it’s nothing I did, or they give no explanation.
And technically, it can’t be my attitude, because women online usually tell me they like the attitude in my letters to them and the qualities I describe as well. But when they see my photo, many of them disappear or lose interest in me. That has NOTHING to do with my attitude obviously, so this attitude explanation is false and doesn’t apply.
In fact, I don't even have a negative attitude. I am energetic, enthusiastic, sociable, and a go-getter. But even if I did, having a positive attitude isn't going to create attraction or make me someone's type. All it will do is spare me the condemnation of attitude fanatics.
Any realist who isn't hung up on being politically correct knows and understands that people do treat you VERY differently depending on your looks, image and appearance, hence your looks do create your lifestyle, whether you want to deny it or not. This is true regardless of your attitude, which brings up my next point. To all you attitude fanatics, idealists, and even New Agers out there who think that people are treated based on their attitude, let me tell you this. You are dead WRONG, whether you want to believe it or not. I have meticulously counted a vast array of my life experiences, and found no real empirical correlation between how someone has treated or viewed me, and my attitude about myself. In fact, many times the correlation was inversed! This "attitude" thing is just an excuse fad that a fringe group of Americans (particularly on the West Coast, California) religiously cling to, even in the face of empirical evidence against it.
by Winston Wu of happier abroad
"Now look at the alternative - staying in the US and following the standard pseudo-advice commonly given to the dateless:
1. Work on yourself
2. Get involved in activities and clubs
Where do you think this would get me? Let's see, I work on myself for a few years, and enhance my desirability a bit. Then maybe ONCE every few YEARS, I'll find someone who wants to date me, and if I'm lucky she might even be somewhat cute or attractive. But that's ONCE every few YEARS! (which was my dating record in the US already) Plus, there's no telling how long it will even last when it comes either (my last American girlfriend lasted only 5 weeks!). Now does that spell wide pool of CHOICES to you? I think not! Life is too short for that. On the other hand, look at my wide assortment of dating choices overseas in my Photo Collage. I think that says it all. Anyone would rather have lots of choices constantly present, then just ONE choice every few years, or none at all! Get real. And besides, even if you did "work on yourself" and became a great guy with wonderful qualities and a lot to offer, so what? If you're not a woman's type in America, and hence not desirable, then all you will get is a pat on the back from women and be told, "Congratulations. You have many great qualities and a lot to offer. I'm sure you'll be a good catch to the right woman someday." What's that going to get you?! Rather than wait years (or never) for "someone" who finally appreciates me, I'd rather be DESIRABLE to women in general, so that I have CHOICES anytime I want, including NOW! And in some foreign countries where the factors are in my favor, I have just that. Life is too short, so why wait years or never?!
As to number two, been there, done that. Sure I can join activities and clubs to meet girls, or take classes popular with girls (cooking, yoga, swing dancing) or just simply going to places where the girls are. Anyone can do that. But look at reality here. Meeting lots of girls you like isn't going to get you any dates if you're not their type. They're still gonna blow you off if you show interest. All that will come of it are polite conversations, but nothing more. And if you try to make something more out of it, they blow you off or refuse politely, saying that they have a boyfriend or that they prefer to have time to themselves. So sure, you can meet lots of girls in America, there are places and activities for that, but if you aren't their type, which I never am, then you'll only be left with disappointment, a huge let down, and blow to your ego. You will be left wondering, "What's wrong with me? Why am I not dating material? Why did those girls say they would rather be alone then hang out with me?" But let's be honest here. How many dateless people do you know who turned their dating life around by simply 1) Working on themselves and 2) Joining clubs and activities? Virtually nobody right? So as you can see, this advice is simply worthless. Well f@#$ that. Why deal with that when there's "dating paradise" overseas?! Life is too short to waste. You gotta make the best of it NOW!
I mean, look at me and the difference in my life, which is beyond imagination. In the US I was perpetually dateless, and every single girl I liked blew me off. It was totally hopeless, literally, despite the fact that I tried everything you can imagine. But look at me here now that I'm overseas. I feel like James Bond! I feel desirable and wanted. And I can live my fantasies with beautiful women whenever I want, because they are not out of my league here. What more could I want? So you see, who cares if I'm a loser by mainstream people's standards, especially when those segments of society are hate-driven and brainwashed by their wicked media?! Wouldn't I be a bigger loser if I had stayed in my unhappy, loveless, sexless, hopeless situation in the US? "
Time and time again, I hear and read of Americans who claim their lives were so much richer and personally fulfilling when they spent extensive time abroad.
An American traveler with a blog on Colombia called "Ryan goes abroad"
"When I returned to the US this summer, I noticed so many subtle things about America that are hard to relate to unless you’ve been abroad for a while yourself…
For one thing, I noticed how many obese people were walking around. For another, I noticed how much colder everyone seemed. For another, I noticed a lack of joy in so many people.
Few people greet one another with a kiss on the cheek. Few people are kind and helpful to strangers. Few poorer people are up and about hustling trying to make an honest buck.
In Colombia, things are different. On the whole, the people seem more connected, more friendly, more joyful, more amiable, more welcoming. The people aren’t as obese. They aren’t so self-absorbed. They smile more, they are more helpful, they dance salsa."
Some comments made at the Happier Abroad forum
"If anyone feels they "come out of their shell" when overseas, try to keep something in mind. That person you are overseas is the real you. The person you are in America is a prisoner, nothing more."
"And by the way, I am back in the matrix and miserable about it. Can't talk to strangers, can't make eye contact, neighbors don't interact, social groups in public do not interact or over lap, extreme social cliqishness, nothing going on for social life in the community, women unapproachable to the point that it feels taboo to talk to them at all, and lonely, isolated lives are standard, people spend more time with a TV than with people, and the relationships/dating scene here and the disintigration of family, marriage, and community is downright shocking. Just seeing how my family members live on in this isolated and dysfunctional matrix, oblivious to what a wonderful, open, natural welcoming social life exists outside of the US, depresses me. I can't wait to get out myself. And so I have a lot of work to do on not letting that whole mess consume me now while trying to get enough healthy human contact to stay sane in this incredibly frigid and mistrustful and disconnected social atmosphere."
"When I got home after that first trip I noticed a few things. First, how fat everyone was. Seriously, it took me two weeks to cope with that alone. The other thing was how bland and unfulfilling life in America was. And I‘m still not over that. I now felt like a foreigner in my own country. I had changed and had experiences that just would not permit me to integrate back into American society to the way I was before. It‘s why I no longer live full time in America any more. I have no idea if this is how returning troops feel when they return, but I‘m slightly different now and feel slightly foreign and just not being able to connect with friends at home the same as before. This is actually a pretty shitty feeling, but who knew it would happen? I‘ve had the conversation so many times with my stateside compatriots, even the ones I grew up with who have taken the obligatory packaged vacations abroad. It‘s like discussing sex with a eunuch. If you haven‘t experienced significant time abroad… enough time to look back at America from very different vantage points, you are just not going to understand what some people in this thread already know."
"It isnt so much that you arent happy with what you've experienced and want 100x more of it. It is like taking a poor girl from the country and bringing her to Paris. You cant then send that girl back to the countryside after she's experienced how good it is to live in Paris. Likewise, since you have felt how warm other women are in other societies, coming back to the feminist states of America is what is depressing. It is withdrawal, pure and simple. But just imagine how depressed you'd be if you had never gone to Europe. Likely you'd think the world is a horrible place cause these women are cold here. At least now you know there is some hope"
Comments by Winston Wu of Happier Abroad
It‘s as if there is this void in the US that tries to suck out everything you‘ve gained in another country, as it tries to re-assimilate you into its prison. This can be very hard and alienating though, as few will be able to understand or relate to you. An expat from of mine in the Philippines related:
"Well yes i noticed that there is a spiritual void in the US that sucks out whatever you have gained in another country. There is an emptiness that can't be described in words. Everything is based on material possessions, wealth, appearance, etc... Its a very unnatural artificial world."
This runs deeper than you might think. Immersing yourself and integrating into another country‘s vibe and energy, so to speak, can change your soul‘s frequency and mental wavelength, to the point where when you come back to the USA, the polarity of your energy simply runs against the currents of everyone else around you, making you feel awkward and unnatural even in the most casual situations. It‘s difficult to put into words. But the bottom line is that you just don‘t relate to others around you the same way anymore. You‘ve changed and evolved, and they haven‘t, for they are still part of the Matrix so to speak.
A former critic of mine turned fan shared these enlightening observations he gained by going abroad:
"Once you go abroad it‘s difficult to go back. My first extended experience living overseas opened my eyes in a variety of ways. People will always be people but I believe that culture is the single biggest influence on people. There is definitely something wrong with America in this respect. America may be a lot of good things - productive, prosperous, and relatively free but the socialization of its citizens is much less advanced than other (much more economically poorer) countries I‘ve been in. The way I look at it quality of life isn‘t just all about money. It‘s about what you can do with yourself in that society and how comfortable you feel around others. In America I was never truly ?comfortable but always felt tense or slightly agitated at the people around me. There‘s definitely a hostility and tenseness to social interaction there that I don‘t feel anywhere else. That‘s a lot of negativity to deal with daily so it‘s not surprising that out of all industrialized first world countries Americans generally have the least healthy lifestyles and shortest overall life spans."
You know, I grew up in California, and there, within its narcissistic and fake culture, people had the assumption that they were the center of the world, the hub culture of activity on the globe, and that if you weren‘t having any fun there, you wouldn‘t enjoy it anywhere else, for California was as good as it gets. It was a consensus assumption. Yet once I left California, I discovered that the rest of the world had plenty to offer that California didn‘t. Sure I missed the great weather there, but the bland scenery of most of the state, the stress of the rat race, and the snobbiness of the girls there made it a miserable hell. Furthermore, there was no real culture there. Everything was commercialized and superficial.
Winston Wu of Happier Abroad describes the "Socially advanced" culture of the Philippines
"One refreshing thing I‘ve noticed is that they do not generally judge, analyze, criticize, compare, or complain. It‘s not in their nature to do so. And that‘s nice in the sense that they aren‘t usually going to judge or criticize you. But on the flip side, this also means that they also lack the ability to analyze, think and reason as we understand it, so communication with them can often be frustrating. And giving them lectures in logic or on being fair and considerate by Western standards, often feels futile. They aren‘t as exacting as we are. In fact, asking them for explanations often results in silence as if they don‘t hear you or their brain stalls. It‘s as if asking for explanations freezes up their mind. They simply don‘t like to think of explanations or reasons or even to question things. It‘s definitely not an intellectual culture or even an organized one. Since they do not generally complain here (at least the way Americans do), services and processes don‘t usually improve. It‘s a non-confrontational culture. However, all this is also beneficial and therapeutic in the sense that no one is labeled a misfit or weirdo, or told that they are unusual or different or that there is something wrong with you. Hence, misfits and freaks from other societies will feel like they finally fit in here, accepted and very much at home. Whereas Western countries are advanced economically, the Philippines is much more advanced socially. Although its economic infrastructure is weak in comparison, socially it is far more evolved, advanced and more integrated than in the West. No one is perpetually lonely, friendless or dateless here. No one is really isolated and families always help each other. There isn‘t the concept of individualism that isolates people and separates them like in the States, and hence there is little individuality among people here. People remain calm, easy-going, cheerful and pleasant in stressful situations, when things go wrong, and even while driving through heavy traffic on the streets. Rarely does anyone ever lose their cool. Depression, mental illness, and suicide are unheard of here and almost nonexistent. No one has to go to a psychiatrist or therapist. Finding someone here who has been to a therapist is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Now, CONTRAST that to America, where nearly HALF the population have been in therapy at some point during their lives! Somehow, people seem to be able to maintain this inner state of balance, Zen state, psychological harmony, or whatever you want to call it. Thus, as in all things, there are pros and cons to the Filipino ways, culture, mentality, and behaviors. But as for me of course, the bottom line is that my love life here and the women here, are a TRILLION times better than in the States. Here I have a CHOICE among beautiful women, thus giving me a sense of WORTH and VALUE. To men like me, that‘s what matters the most. And that‘s why we put up with all the annoyances here."
Students and Backpackers in Reverse Culture Shock
Here are some revealing quotes from college students returning from their time abroad, who are in a state of reverse culture shock. They are compiled in a handbook to help their parents deal with this situation, which you can view at the link below. http://www.worldlearning.org/SSA_Other_documents/parent_reentry_handbook.pdf
"The hardest part of re-entry was people seemingly not caring how my life had been transformed."
"It‘s so tough to return to your own reality‘ (or what it was before leaving) and realize that you don‘t necessarily agree with your life or your culture or the values underlying it."
"People in the US are far too tense, selfish and in a hurry"
"Then Christmas hit. The extravagance was overwhelming and depressing to me – the waste, the excess."
"I found myself many times completely unable to cope with the fact that I live in a society that glorifies material wealth ."
"My views were so changed, my eyes awakened, and I could not continue living as I had before I left"
"The toughest part for me was sinking back into the lifestyle – the bubble – and not feeling that I was abandoning something."
Most SIT students choose to study in countries that are not as wealthy as the United States. They often are amazed at the quality of life of people abroad who lack what the US culture has taught them to consider as basic possessions. They are taken by surprise at the closeness of the families, the warmth and friendliness, the willingness to share. Coming home, it is not unusual for students to feel vaguely guilty for all they and their real families own.
World View Many students also feel their world view has expanded immeasurably. They have a deeper awareness of global issues and a broader perspective regarding globalization, IMF policies, ecological challenges, health concerns, international income disparity, and so on. They feel the richness, the weight, and the responsibility of first-hand experience. They are understandably frustrated with the seemingly superficial priorities and the general lack of international awareness in the lives of their friends and family. Some returning students realize that they themselves were as unaware as their friends before they left to study overseas. Most, however, conveniently forget this fact. If they are not careful, their attitude of moral superiority alienates the very individuals they are trying to reach. The challenge here is for them to not forget what they have learned, and at the same time, not allow their indignation and self-righteousness to get in the way of productive dialogue with others.
Self Image One of the final issues faced by returning students is confronting their self image. Many students go to countries where they look different from most of the local population. Both men and women often find themselves receiving far more attention from the opposite sex than they were accustomed to, simply because of their American appearance. Although this constant fishbowl effect is exhausting, it is also flattering.
Talking to girls is even worse- the first thought is always what does this guy want? Is he trying to sleep with me? An innocent conversation at a bar is never innocent even when it is. Yet on the travel trail, I have and see tons of innocent conversations between the sexes that revolve anything and everything. Striking up a conversation with a girl isn‘t about a hidden agenda, it‘s simply about making new friends. Coming back home into this mindset has been difficult. Your used to the openness of travelers and the conversations with perfect strangers. It‘s friendly environment. But back home these situations aren‘t easily replicated and people always thinks there is a hidden agenda
This Backpacker who runs a travel blog wrote this post about his reverse culture shock in coming back home and finding that people there are no longer open and sociable as they were when he was traveling:
"One of my favorite parts of traveling is meeting so many people. Meeting them in hostels, on tours, on buses, sitting at cafes, or at bars. On the road, it‘s easy to make new friends. So easy that sometimes you feel like you have friend overload. On the road, you find very little pretense. No one has their guard up. No one questions your motives or wonder what you are after. Saying hello is all you need. In the world of travel, everyone is open to meeting new people. A simple hello and before you know it, you are traveling with people for months. Yet back home, I‘m finding it‘s not like that. Out at the bars or on the street, saying hell or engaging strangers in conversation is usually met with a stare. Why is this person talking to me? What do they want? People put up barriers. No one is as open as they are on the road and there‘s always a supposed motive."
Internet post at happier abroad
"Most men are indoctrinated from birth via the schools and the mass media into becoming enslaved for life to this treadmill. Men become so preoccupied with covering up his ass at work (meeting quotas) and playing the political game while desperately trying to meet suitable women. Getting a measly two weeks of vacation time while Euros get months. American society has changed radically over the past century before WWI most Americans worked at agrarian jobs, born, raised, marrying and dying within a few miles of his birthplace. He probably went to a church which was a place where all the community met. He knew and was known by all of the females from childbirth having gone to school and to the same church as they attended. There were matchmakers, barn-dances, ice cream socials to allow singles to meet. Finding a mate was easier as women were expected to find a decent husband and were raised to respect men.
The mass-marketing of the automobile and the creation of the Intercontinental Highway system made America a mobile society. Now people can live in a neighborhood and scarcely know their neighbors. Feminism has destroyed trust between genders and now men are seen as predators/criminals/fools. Mass communication is cheaper and easier than ever with cell-phone, internet, VIOP and chat-rooms yet people are more isolated and out of touch than ever. There is no real effective way for singles to meet nowadays as men are working overtime to make ends meet and have little time to socialize. But that is what they were told to believe in and it makes them great wage-slaves who can be easily manipulated. Personally I tried singles groups, singles ads and partner-danced for years with little result. I have friends who haven't had a date for years and are unlikely ever to meet a decent woman. Those relationship "experts" are like the American Cancer Society, they are not interested in helping you but to rake in cash from desperate people dying to meet a partner. A few men have found the courage to get off the treadmill and find their fortunes Overseas. It's not easy, some men have fallen on their faces but most have succeeded."
The dating imbalances in America are so severe, and the degree to which I've seen so many women mistreat men is completely unacceptable (i.e. act snobby,mean, and disrespectful to men when they try to approach them in the singles scene such as clubs and bars). This is so much so that I decided enough was enough, and I became a fervent and passionate supporter in the cause of EDUCATING men so they can realize that there is an army of millions of gorgeous Bachelorettes who would love to be with them and who would APPRECIATE them. In the US, there are many men who are really getting a raw deal out there in the dating scene. And to think of the incredible options that American men are missing out on due to a simple lack of knowledge and fear of the unknown just completely boggles the mind.
A worthy quote from single dude travel
"Now before you get all pissed off at that absurd generalization, I will say that of course, America is a huge country with over 300 million people in it and there are plenty of good American girls out there. Some of our favorite girlfriends have been American, but they were the rare exception to the rule and not the norm. Your odds in America of finding a quality woman are very bad these days and only getting worse. This is one of the reasons that we travel. There is another whole world out there of gorgeous, thin, super nice, brilliant, successful, motivated girls who would love to be with you, and we want to help you find them and live happily ever after. Or just for tonight, it’s your call. But you have to leave America. You have to travel."
One of my favorite yet so DIRECT testimonials I have seen out there goes as follows:
“Many men in USA believe they aren’t good with women but the fact is that they are trying to succeed in an arena where there is no success. I’m not saying they are bad people. I have many desirable fun american women friends whom I like as friends, but when it comes to relationships, they are so lame.”
A post at the happier abroad message board
"Went to the mall with my wife this weekend to pick up the wedding gift for Dave We and his wife who are getting married next weekend. Couldn't help but notice the unusually high number of white caucasian men with ladies of all different skin colors and I was proud! Moral of the story is that there is more than one way to peel a banana. If the single white ladies want to elevate their demands to unobtainable levels thus avoiding the Average Joe, then we look elsewhere for love. It's just that simple."
And Another excellent real life post:
“When I first began this journey, I did not take into account how much it would change me fundamentally on my beliefs and philosophy on western culture. I made the tremendous realization that I did not have to put up with the women in Canada, just so I can get a sniff of pussy. With this came liberation. I would stay in these countries for an average of 8 weeks at a time. With each return trip back to Canada, it became increasingly difficult to return to my own reality. How could I ever date, never mind marry a woman from this country, when the quality was so much better in these foreign countries? To voice these opinions openly is to risk ridicule, not only from the women in our society, but from the castrated males also (aka:manginas). I do not have one friend that I can say is happily married. All of them say they are, but actions betray their words. It is a lonely path, but the reward at the end is the ability to look in the mirror and know that you have chosen the life you wanted to lead. Not how society thinks you should live it. For whatever age you have came to this realization, you had the courage to go against the grain and now you are going towards a brighter future. It is better late than never. ”
“ Brothas, expand your horizons- you don't have to settle!! There are women elsewhere that will literally blow your mind, but you will never know unless you book that plane ticket!!Once you go abroad it’s obvious. “
“Go to South America, you will be up to your ears in hot young aggressive foreign Latina girls that will be fighting over you like as if you were a billionaire.”
“when you finally make it out of america you will LOVE IT. you will NEVER go american again. !!!.”
“Visiting Latin America gave my travel buddies something they never had before: a point of reference that opened their eyes! As they returned to New Jersey, they realized just how different the local gals treated them in comparison to the Latin American girls. Sick and tired of the Upper Tier feminist baggage, it’s no wonder some now live part-time or permanently—or are planning to retire—in Latin America.”
“Chris told a dating expert about his great success in Latin America. The “expert” replied, "If you are really good, you don’t need to go anywhere!” But what Chris knows now is that in Santa Cruz Bogota, Quito, Rio, Managua, Havana, and Buenos Aires, it’s the women who have to be very good, not the men!”
“I coach men on how to join the Global Dating Revolution— especially guys who are coming off a bad divorce, experiencing long periods of being single, or are simply sick and tired of the local upper tier dating scene. As the saying goes, it’s the sick that need the cure, not the healthy. I know! I was once sick myself, and now I’m completely cured. And now I want to help other men, enjoy the same success I have achieved by joining me in the Global Dating Revolution.” (www.globaldatingrevolution.com)
While some men (and woman) are able to find themselves physically attracted to those who are overweight or obese, most are not and this is scientifically proven. Scientific studies show that physical attraction DOES MATTER:
"As one might expect, the survey shows that physical attraction does, in fact, matter to both men and women (78% believed it was very important)." (see this study)
Furthermore, studies confirm what most of us already know, .....that men men are far more visual than women. All the studies on the laws of attraction between the sexes state the following :
"Overall, experts say, men are visual beings and focus on the physical; woman view attractiveness as more than just looks." (see this study)
The implication of these findings is that even overweight men are realistically in the game for landing ht/wt proportionate women in the US, and very much in the game if he is a good provider (makes good money) or has a great personality. Therefore, we can logically conclude that I am not only competing with other Ht/Wt proportionate men for this small pool of ht/wt proportionate women, I am competing with ALL men. What do you think my odds are in this kind of competitive environment? And don't you think this small pool of 15% of ht/wt proportionate women will become very choosy and picky since they are constantly getting hit on by all men and they can basically get any man they want? As a man, if you had 100% of a population of women chasing you and constantly hitting on you, wouldn't you become picky and hard to get too? You would be forced to blow off a large percentage of your admirers as you simply could not have time for them all. But when you go overseas, the exact opposite happens! In most non Western countries, (Asia, Latin America, and Russia) , most women are generally thin and so they are not getting special attention from the men. This means they appreciate whenever a man does show interest in them and they are far more likely to be interested when you come calling.
Now, what I can't stand is when people try to shame and label you as being shallow for excluding overweight women from your dating pool. What THESE people need to understand is that most people like me don't do so by choice. It is not a conscious decision! Its just that I know from past experience that I am not attracted to overweight women. It's not a judgement on character or anything like that. It's simply the laws of attraction. I wish I was! Life would be FAR easier for me.
Now, from time to time, I hear people say to me (mainly the women are known to say this) "Steve, you might be missing out of some wonderful women if you exclude overweight women from your dating pool, after all, it's inner beauty that matters right?." The inference of this of course is "You shouldn't be so shallow and picky". While I can appreciate their sincere concern, the point that they are missing is that Attraction is not a DECISION . Therefore because it is not a conscious decision, there is no shallow arguement to be made here. Shallowness only comes into play when someone makes a CONSCIOUS decision to exclude someone based on things like money for example. Science backs me up on this point:
"Adds Chicago psychiatrist Paul Dobransky, author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love, "Sexual attraction is completely instinctual, and is not based in logic." (See Study)
"Sure, it may be less politically correct to highlight the role of looks in relationships -- it's what is inside that is supposed to count, right? And of course we know that love matters the most. But it's time we accept what many of us instinctively know, yet hate to admit; caring for and about, our looks matters, too." (See Study)
So you see, it is purely instinctual. It's either there or it's not. No one can FORCE attraction by simply making it a conscious decision about it. Come on, we need to be real about this. Now that doesn't mean I would rule out a overweight women if I somehow found myself attracted to her. It just means that it is about as likely to happen as is a woman is likely to pair up with a man who is shorter than her. And speaking of that, when you really think about it, the shallow accusation makes no more sense than telling women that they are shallow for not including shorter men in their dating pool. After all, shortness is but only a physical characteristic just like being overweight is, right? So ladies, what about the inner beauty of a man? Doesn't that matter to you? Why do you care about his height? Gosh, women are just so shallow for ruling out short men! LOL. I hope I have made my point to the shallow accusers out there? What I have found is that none of these shallow accusers ever have a come back when I throw out this comparison to them. There is always silence once I do. They finally "get it" when I put it to them in those terms.
One thing that also drives me crazy is when women will say "Steve, yes, in fact I would date a man shorter than me if I liked him enough". Now come on! Lets get real. LOL. This is nothing more than these women trying to be politically correct in order to save face, lest anyone think they are shallow. LOL. But lets face it, political correctness does not lead to TRUTHS. The REALITY of what these women REALLY mean is that they would be willing to go out on some dates with a man shorter than them. But lets get real here, they would never get SERIOUS or MARRY a man shorter than them. As studies show below, only about 4 woman out of 100 might REALLY do that. Let's face it, dating is one thing, while getting serious is another. You see the difference?
Another rebuttal I COMMONLY hear from women is "Steve, but these overweight women can change". My answer to this is "yea, right. Maybe 1 in 10". Look, it is common knowledge that MOST people who lose weight just gain it right back. That is the sad truth of weight loss. Besides, a person needs to lose weight for themselves not for someone else. Losing weight for someone else might lead to resentment later on. Not a good idea.
Getting back to the women not attracted to shorter men issue, I can honestly say that I don't think I have even witnessed a short man married to a tall woman in my entire life. Have you?? Let's face it, any woman who is being truly honest about this will admit that she is 99% unlikely to be "serious" with a man who is shorter than her. Well, let me correct myself there, as per the quote from this scientific study shown below, she will be 96% unlikely to be attracted to a man shorter than her, regardless of his inner beauty:
"Only seven percent would accept someone who was their height, and just four percent would allow for a shorter guy."
"Women do not have a exact height preference, but rather seem to be open to a variety of heights, so long as the man is taller than her."
"Women will take just about any shortcoming in a man, except in the height department"
Source ABC news 20/20 - http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=123853&page=1#.Ub69q50o6po
So please, lets drop the political correctness and realize there are certain inconvenient truths that we must acknowledge no matter how uncomfortable they may make us feel. I too would like to have an "Alice in wonderland" perfect world where inner beauty is the ONLY thing that matters. But that's not reality. Deep down we all know this but it's uncomfortable to us because we don't want to believe it. (Though on a personal note, I will say that I do believe inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, especially for long term marriage success. I'm only saying I need a certain minimum level of physical attraction to make a relationship work) There are certain biological truths handed down to us from mother nature. Running away from them will not make them go away.
I also want to point out that it’s not that guys like me are seeking a perfect specimen either. By no means is that true! Truth be told, I think most guys can handle a little extra (I mean extra that is carried proportionately on a woman) and I think most men are happy with at least an average looking woman. But as the stats show, with a very large segment of the American dating pool, we are dealing with more than just a few extra poundage. It’s a sad situation but it is reality in America.
On a personal note, I’ve had some offers over the years to be set up on blind dates from friends, neighbors, and co workers who have tried to help. (which I appreciate their efforts). My only parameters for them was that the girl be ht/wt proportionate and not have kids in tow (I'm not interested in instant family since I want to have some of my own some day and as everyone knows, kids are darned expensive! I'm just not rich enough to carry that kind of load!). And I also simply asked that she be young enough to have kids. But in just about every single case, as soon as I inquired as to whether the girl was ht/wt proportionate, that's where the conversation always ended. Even to this date, no one has been able to set me up with a ht/wt proportionate woman who meets these simple three requirements. And I don't think these three simple requirements make me a picky person. That just proves how bad the US dating environment is for men who desire ht/wt proportionate women.
I love the eloquent and logical arguement that Winston Wu of happier abroad makes on this shallow accusation :
"There is nothing wrong with wanting thin women, because that‘s how NORMAL women are, in most of the world and throughout history. (If you go to Ukraine for example, that‘s how AVERAGE women look – thin, pretty and feminine) It‘s only in America that thin decent looking females are placed so high up in the hierarchy that they become unattainable to the average man because everyone wants them. Since average women in America are overweight, while normal decent looking women are not, the non overweight ones become cream of the crop or instant goddeses who are placed so high up that even many normal decent looking men who should be in their league, are actually out of their league in this artificial scene that favors women. What this means is that me and other decent looking men are not in a position to date women who are in our league, lookswise, because every thin decent looking woman in the US is a goddess! Thus it is America‘s standards that are unequal and imbalanced, NOT mine! By international standards, my standards are NORMAL. Therefore, again, it‘s American dating culture that is the problem, not me. Thus, these female critics are not making any sense, nor are they being realistic. They are merely making excuses to defend the messed up US dating culture that gives them all the power.
Therefore, the logical solution then, would be to go abroad where my standards are not considered too high, but are normal and attainable, where my dating opportunities and likability are vastly greater. So far, that solution has proven to be the correct endeavor."
Speaking of the US dating environment, one post I found on the happier abroad message board says it best when it comes to internet dating in the US:
"I've been back from my first Philippines trip for almost 3 months now and once again get nowhere on local US dating sites, except for a few "...wants to meet you" on Plenty of fish. When I look at the profiles of the women that allegedly want to meet me I am absolutely horrified! They are all 30 or 40 something white women that are overweight, tattooed, divorced, single mums or worse."
So guys, in conclusion, please educate yourself. Read the research section of this site and judge for yourself the credibility of the experts and researchers of whom I quote. Feel free to message me and let me know what you think of it. Also, come participate in our Online Community forum and tell us if any of these things presented here ring true with your own experiences with dating local vs abroad. And for the guys who decide to actually dip their toes into international dating waters, please come back and share your experiences at the happier abroad Forum so that others may learn and benefit and be inspired by your story.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for allowing me to share why I am so passionate and inspired by the message at Happier Abroad.
God Bless and good luck!